FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

[The Wizard Joseph]

I woke up feeling fantastic! First shit was.... interesting, but otherwise not feeling bad at all.

I think if there was more peer pressure I could have done better than an even dozen. Joe exceeded all expectations.

You beat me on "hardcore mode" oranges consumed. I got to ten and realized that heeding the signals of my wracked body would be a good idea if I didn't want a LOT of nasty clean-up on my.. uh everything.

"Winnar" of hardcore belt goes to Q.G should none object. I couldn't have pushed as hard without the company and taunting.  Fact!

I'm feeling better now, but found it best to skip the overtime shift I leveraged my boss to let me "volunteer" for. There will be plenty of THAT this next week.

I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.

Sure, we all do.  That's why we have feuds.  Anyways, you can always go alley-blasting, or picking up women in Sheboygan.  There's no need to shove a quart or so of citric acid into your digestive tract.

Yes, but in my defense, while acknowledging my position indefensible:

1 No orange-related STDs have as yet been identified by Science, easy 'Sconsin poon has. A lot.

2 I've lived a life of measured caution and reasonability for some time now and letting loose was very good for me. (Despite occasional digestive gas bubbles I too woke feeling great emotionally)

3 I had a series of visions and story seeds roll through my mind that simply wouldn't have occurred had I not. Plus getting my Wiz on symbolically all over corporeal reality without badly freaking out the normals was nice.

4 I wasn't aware of some of the details before I jumped up and challenged Cramulus. I'd made the decision to do it at about pg 10 when Cram posted a very cool looking meme collage he'd made about "the return of Eris" or some such and said he was Cramulus "I guess.." Thought I'd check his Jimmies, Eris practically demanded it, but I was already on it. Results indicate possibility of no Jimmies. Further testing seems redundant at this point.

5 When I'd completed the thread I realized that it was going to be hard and in no way pleasant, but it would be fun and well honor Nigel's pain, and I'd already thrown down the gauntlet. I devised a strategy, and it worked.

In a way it was worth every bit of the trouble, but I'm not inclined to ever eat an orange willingly again. I also won't complain or shy away by preference. In I way I consider the occasion as getting "patched in" to the Ontological Motorcycle gang of minds here. My neurons will now always notice oranges and so this has value because I can smile about how stupid it was and send One up in regards to Nigel's lost son.

I don't have any tats on my body but what God and Nature have left as scars and some very interesting birthmarks. If there is a soul I hope it's got one now, if not my neurons will remember until I do in fact stop living. Every orange a memento mori.

Attached pic contains the quote that cemented the decision. I don't mean to babble on. I just needed to clarify my motives to myself as much as you and the board sir.

[LMNO]

You're kind of an idiot for doing this, but your motivations in part were about honoring Nigel and her family, so I can't fault you for that. In fact, I'm moved. Well done.

[Nast]

 

[The Wizard Joseph]

Better than deciding there was nothing I could do. 




Also kinda...  but that's probably just the residual effects of the oranges.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You complete goddamn lunatics.

Alty has kept me updated on your willingness to deliberately do this terrible thing to yourselves.

I am a wreck, but you have made me smile and I love you.

[Cainad (dec.)]

what the fuck

[The Wizard Joseph]

You complete goddamn lunatics.

Alty has kept me updated on your willingness to deliberately do this terrible thing to yourselves.

I am a wreck, but you have made me smile and I love you.

Mission accomplished then! All of the rest is just a bonus and they were mostly post-facto justifications. I had no clue how it would go, but it seemed right.  Totally batshit, but right! I admire your strength and will to do good in the world. I shall continue to hope for your strength to persevere and excel in your work and deal with the innumerable new stresses this will surely still bring.


Also... if I'm correct Choppaz & Sluggaz is the one sometimes known as Freeky.

She bumped the thread again... WHERE ANY OLD JOE MIGHT READ IT!!! Last time she did that Net wound up in the hospital. Totally irresponsible these Orcs! All bumping threads about ORANGES and everything then looking around like nothing happened. 

[Freeky]

I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.

Certainly changed my life! 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I'm hungry.

Oh, look, there's oranges on my desk...

[Freeky]

The orange tree in the common area behind my place is flowering.

SOON.

[Freeky]

I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.

Certainly changed my life! 

Dat's how yer knowz it's graet!

[The Wizard Joseph]

I'm hungry.

Oh, look, there's oranges on my desk...

The orange tree in the common area behind my place is flowering.

SOON.

I'll just leave this here for consideration.
It's interesting for its lack of meaningful search return and the general emphasis on a time record rather than total in a day.


After I read your posts I ate one of my 4 remaining ORANGES and felt a little repulsed, but also an immediate and STRONG associative state touched the fringes of my awareness that I managed to anchor myself into. I got high and altered again purely by will and sensory association.

I can make this a permanent trigger through repetition. I've done it already with a simple finger rubbing gesture that I ALWAYS did when walking out of the racine YMCA after heavy cardio and a sauna while my brain was brimming with endorphins. It took about 2 years to build, but I can consciously elevate my mood and it brings a reflexive and wide smile, not GRIN, to my face even now.

The ORANGES, if I layer on enough repetition, would produce a very similar trigger with a very different effect. I went to bed after slowly eating an orange and making myself consciously re-associate the already strong, though subtle, psychedelic effect of the ordeal. I remember dreaming, but not the content.

More research may be worthwhile, but it means many more ORANGES and I have very strong mixed feelings about that.

[Junkenstein]

Research you say?

http://www.livestrong.com/article/454646-the-effects-of-eating-too-many-oranges/

The comments section is woefully understated. These people have no idea.

https://recordsetter.com/search?q=oranges

Again, tragically lacking.

https://recordsetter.com/world-record/eat-three-pounds-california-mandarin-oranges/28526?autoplay=true

I am unsure of this in relation to quantities consumed in thread.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Research you say?

http://www.livestrong.com/article/454646-the-effects-of-eating-too-many-oranges/

The comments section is woefully understated. These people have no idea.

https://recordsetter.com/search?q=oranges

Again, tragically lacking.

https://recordsetter.com/world-record/eat-three-pounds-california-mandarin-oranges/28526?autoplay=true

I am unsure of this in relation to quantities consumed in thread.

Yeah I saw a lot of that in my brief search and just finished going through the links.

The world really has no idea. 

The kid eating those tiny, thin skinned mandarins is impressive, but he can hurl after. Not even playing the same game at all.

The warnings in one of the others were almost all "fluff" and clealy a sign of reasoning and not ACTUALLY EATING oranges. Comments were likewise woefully sans any real orange-gnosis.

I do believe that this "tradition" is unique to PD. I also suspect that the alkaline chemical make up of the rind and pulpy bits might just contain psychoactive compounds. It wasn't just the pain or juice content that altered my consciousness. I've had a LOT of OJ and been through far more agony and nothing compared. Nigel reported having nightmares when she set that first record. Cainad woke up to puke, another indicator of toxicity if not psychoactivity. I suspect Net's mistake may have been those "4 lokos" he washed things down with and otherwise going "hardcore" from the sound of it.


I'm sincerely curios now. Seems odd indeed that this appears to be a new frontier. More testing, I think.  But I'm not really enthused about eating for a record again... ever again.