The future doesn't want you

[P3nT4gR4m]

Hello and welcome to the 21st century. We're almost a decade into this shit but, just in case anybody hadn't noticed yet, allow me to spell it out for you - the future is here and it's time to get with the program.

Let's begin by getting rid of some shit you won't be needing anymore...

First off - best to lose all sense of belief and conviction, hell, those were getting old by the middle of the 20th but now? 21st century needs those things like a fish needs a bra. Nobody believes anything anymore. Maybe we used to but too many deeply held ones have been shattered, too many times to the point where pretty much everyone is wise to that shit. Idealism grew up into bitterness and hatred. Belief and conviction replaced by scepticism and the attention span of a wasp. Don't believe me? Good, that's a start. You might survive this yet.

Next up you should probably ditch compassion. Caring has absolutely no place in this brave new hell hole. There's too many people being screwed over, too many epic fuck-ups and, due in no small part to the rising popularity of ignorance and apathy as a design for life, these are scheduled to increase in both frequency and horror right up until the bitter end, if and when it ever shows it's face. Trust me, by the time it does you will be on your hands and knees begging for it. Don't believe me? Excellent - you're really getting the hang of this - keep it up!

At some point we're going to have to talk about intelligence. Yes, I know you've been hanging onto it like a wet-wipe in a shit tsunami but it really isn't currency in this day and age. Intelligent people were last century, nowadays the stupid and the insane are the only ones able to deal with life. Intelligence teaches us that there's a solution, that there's some way to fix this clusterfuck, some way to make sense of it all. Forget it - none of this makes sense and, even if you wanted to, it's irreparable but you don't really want to fix it that badly anyway, do you? No because the apathy I mentioned in the last paragraph has taken root in your soul. You don't believe me? Hahahaha - you're doing great - you'll have your eyes shut and your hands over your ears, screaming hysterically in no time. You'll fit in just fine.

So good luck and make the most of the 21st century. You'll never see another one like it. In fact, if things keep going the way they're going there won't be another one, like it or otherwise.

Isn't that a relief?

[Doktor Howl]

Yes, Doktor, explaining survival tools to monkeys is like yelling "STOP!" to lemmings as Marlin Perkins herds them off a cliff with a bulldozer.  Ah, good old Marlin...Anything to make Wildlife Kingdom more real for his viewers.  Who needs real facts (lemmings don't actually charge off of cliffs on their own), when you can have authenticity?

Okay for now,
Dok Howl

[Eater of Clowns]

Good Doktor,

Is the throbbing numbness and muttering spasms part of the acclimation process?  They both started as tics and evolved into crippling outbursts.  Speaking with anything but clenched jaw and narrowed eyes takes concerted painful effort.

-EoC

This was a great piece, p3nt.

[The Wizard]

An interesting theory, my good man, but one I must disagree with.

The 21st century has started off badly, but I don't think it's time yet to give up hope. And you forgot to mention hope.

[Doktor Howl]

An interesting theory, my good man, but one I must disagree with.

The 21st century has started off badly, but I don't think it's time yet to give up hope. And you forgot to mention hope.

Hope in one hand, shit in the other.

Which hand fills up faster?

[The Wizard]

Hope in one hand, shit in the other.

Which hand fills up faster?

Neither, since hope is an emotion, and I don't let people shit in my hand.

The situation right now is shitty. But nothing ever stays the same forever. The situation eventually will change for the better on its own. Or we can force it to improve.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Attention church of the latter day saints - we have us a live one 

[Doktor Howl]

and I don't let people shit in my hand.

You kids these days...You just don't know how to have a good time.

The situation right now is shitty. But nothing ever stays the same forever. The situation eventually will change for the better on its own. Or we can force it to improve.

Sure.  I mean, things even got better after Rome fell, right?  Of course, it took 1300 years of savagery and superstition, but good things come to those who wait.

And good luck with forcing things to improve.  Forcing the bulk of monkeys to do anything these days is like trying to herd smilodons.

[Doktor Howl]

Attention church of the latter day saints - we have us a live one 

Dr Semaj is a very smart young man, but he hasn't had the fluffy white clouds and rainbows beaten out of him, yet.

Give it another few years. 

Optimism, like pessimism, is a distorted view of the world.

[The Wizard]

Attention church of the latter day saints - we have us a live one 

Too bad I'm not a pacifist. They might have liked me.

Sure.  I mean, things even got better after Rome fell, right?

Good example, but times have changed since then. History has been accelerating since then. These days the entire world can be knocked on its ass in an afternoon.

And good luck with forcing things to improve.

I'll need it. Luckily, I have a plan.

Dr Semaj is a very smart young man, but he hasn't had the fluffy white clouds and rainbows beaten out of him, yet.

Thanks for the compliment. And you forgot to mention the unicorns. I still treasure the pink unicorns.

Optimism, like pessimism, is a distorted view of the world.

And what of cynicism?

[Doktor Howl]

Attention church of the latter day saints - we have us a live one 

Too bad I'm not a pacifist. They might have liked me.

Mormons aren't pacifists.  Not by a long shot.

Sure.  I mean, things even got better after Rome fell, right?

Good example, but times have changed since then. History has been accelerating since then. These days the entire world can be knocked on its ass in an afternoon.

Yes, and that supports my point.

And good luck with forcing things to improve.

I'll need it. Luckily, I have a plan.

Uh huh.

Dr Semaj is a very smart young man, but he hasn't had the fluffy white clouds and rainbows beaten out of him, yet.

Thanks for the compliment. And you forgot to mention the unicorns. I still treasure the pink unicorns.

Optimism, like pessimism, is a distorted view of the world.

And what of cynicism?

We Doktors prefer to call it realism.

[The Wizard]

Mormons aren't pacifists.  Not by a long shot.

Really? I thought they were a pacifistic faith? Admittedly, haven't done any research...ah. I see.

Yes, and that supports my point.

That there is no hope?

Uh huh.

Ya, thought you'd say that. I'm not sure if its going to work, and its a lifetime project kind of deal, but I figure its worth a shot. Why not try and make the world a better place?

We Doktors prefer to call it realism.

And you're joined in that sentiment by a lot of people. Cynicism is the new opium of the masses.

[Doktor Howl]

Ya, thought you'd say that. I'm not sure if its going to work, and its a lifetime project kind of deal, but I figure its worth a shot. Why not try and make the world a better place?

Ask Jesus, Gandhi, MLK, and Malcomn X.

And you're joined in that sentiment by a lot of people. Cynicism is the new opium of the masses.

So it is your considered opinion that looking at things the way they really are is some form of soma?

[The Wizard]

Ask Jesus, Gandhi, MLK, and Malcomn X.

All of whom came to bad ends, definitely. But look at the impact they had on the world, the positive changes they brought.

So it is your considered opinion that looking at things the way they really are is some form of soma?

No, it is my considered opinion that cynicism is not the same thing as realism. Cynicism runs along the same line as nihilism and pessimism, that the world is a bad place and little to nothing can be done to improve it. And yes, cynicism is a narcotic. It makes people apathetic, and yes, it is everywhere in our society.

[Doktor Howl]

No, it is my considered opinion that cynicism is not the same thing as realism. Cynicism runs along the same line as nihilism and pessimism, that the world is a bad place and little to nothing can be done to improve it. And yes, cynicism is a narcotic. It makes people apathetic, and yes, it is everywhere in our society.

Then it's a good thing I haven't identified myself as a cynic.  You did that; I reject the description.

I may seem - in your words - to be a doped up member of the masses, to you...But that's because you aren't making any effort to understand what I say, but rather to drape your own image of me around me.