What do the people look like on planet <Your Name>

[Cramulus]

On Planet Cramulus there is a race of white-furred monkey-like creatures with cat ears. They are skinny, walk on two legs, and have fabulous moustaches. They live in a tribal society which values leisure, games, and laying around. They weave awesome baskets. Many of them starve to death.

[Cramulus]

[Lies]

On planet lysergic, everyone looks like characters from the beatles yellow submarine, there are LSD trees everywhere, the water is made from bourbon which the inhabitants drink literally like water, the beaches are made from cocaine and the weed is legal.

[Eater of Clowns]

Planet Eater of Clowns is populated mostly by faun-like creatures, except gangly, and with a tendency to scowl while grinning.  They build their cities with a lot of stone stairways that lead into secluded overlooks and winding paths.  It takes forever for them to get anywhere because they keep walking off toward whatever looks interesting.

[Jasper]

Planet Sigmatic has no people.  It is a planet that transforms into things and screws up other planets.  It's hobbies include eating moons, intercepting space probes and trolling CETI.   It's fueled by bloody-mindedness.  Very eco-friendly in that respect.

[Don Coyote]

Cudgel's World, so named for the trees, which are the sole multicellular lifeforms on the planet, on which grow cudgels for cudgeling. It has been settled by the Less Spiral Trading Company whom exports the cudgels across the galaxy.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

On Planet Blight, 50% of the female population are redheaded nymphomaniacs with myopia. Everyone gets a free pass with said redheads, including said redheads, since they'll take what they want from you anyway, and generally it's better to not make them do it by force (unless you like getting knocked around a bit first. Different strokes and all, but proceed with caution). Work may be temporarily suspended if a redhead accosts you there for the same reason. The rest of the people look much as they do on Earth, except they lack excessive body hair and their BO smells vaguely like roses and whiskey.

Fossil fuels ran out long ago because the byproducts turned out to be THC fumes and poitin. It was a great time of intoxicated stupor and there were many tragic but painless deaths (due to intoxication), as well as psychotic random bird attacks. Now everything is run on geothermal energy and nuclear.

There is a notable minority of extraplanetary immigrants, who intended to colonize another world far off but got stuck. Currently most of them are employed as cabbies, but are working their way up the social ladder.

[saturnine]

I LIKE THIS THREAD.

On Planet Saturnine, people shut the fuck up and pay attention. Gender is irrelevant and as a result people are forced to be more interesting. Alcohol is free and has no adverse physical effects. People meditate and massage each other more, and neither one is as scary because everyone starts doing it when they're a kid. People can get into positions of political power without studying law, and they actually want to, and when they get there they do interesting shit. Desire is honored. Pleasure is encouraged. People have spines. Rigorous applications are required for reproduction. Food is sufficient but not overabundant. The Singularity happened and was pretty great for everybody. Monogamy implodes. America stops being a douche and starts being sustainable, and everyone else follows suit, convinced that if a country as douchey as America can turn it around, anyone can. We narrowly avoid trashing the Earth, repatriate a fuckton of vital resources, and subsist happily ever after until the next Ice Age wipes most of us out, and then we get to start again with badass technology buried under the ice, like war machines and deathbots and orbital bombardment satellites and teleporters and neutron bombs and mobile bipedal armor and cryogenically frozen Japanese schoolgirls.

Also I sit on a throne all day and an endless train of redheads let me service them while I play video games, which I guess is Boy Heaven, but I'm pretty sure I would want the same thing if I were a girl, which I sometimes secretly am.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I LIKE THIS THREAD.

On Planet Saturnine, people shut the fuck up and pay attention. Gender is irrelevant and as a result people are forced to be more interesting. Alcohol is free and has no adverse physical effects. People meditate and massage each other more, and neither one is as scary because everyone starts doing it when they're a kid. People can get into positions of political power without studying law, and they actually want to, and when they get there they do interesting shit. Desire is honored. Pleasure is encouraged. People have spines. Rigorous applications are required for reproduction. Food is sufficient but not overabundant. The Singularity happened and was pretty great for everybody. Monogamy implodes. America stops being a douche and starts being sustainable, and everyone else follows suit, convinced that if a country as douchey as America can turn it around, anyone can. We narrowly avoid trashing the Earth, repatriate a fuckton of vital resources, and subsist happily ever after until the next Ice Age wipes most of us out, and then we get to start again with badass technology buried under the ice, like war machines and deathbots and orbital bombardment satellites and teleporters and neutron bombs and mobile bipedal armor and cryogenically frozen Japanese schoolgirls.

Also I sit on a throne all day and an endless train of redheads let me service them while I play video games, which I guess is Boy Heaven, but I'm pretty sure I would want the same thing if I were a girl, which I sometimes secretly am.

You would probably consistently lose said video games, but I'm glad that Planet Blight and Planet Saturnine have similar redhead policy.
We should open diplomatic and trade relations. Our redheads can abuse you if you start doing poorly at your videogame, thus resulting in an endless loop of videogame and redhead awesome.

/fetish

[Salty]

On planet Alty there are several species of mammal-insect hybrids (really hairy spiders with kitten faces, land-whales that move like catapilars, dragonfly sloths) who are all intelligent and fully conscious and capable of producing technology, but dont communicate well outside their own species.

Instead they wage long, bloody, adorable wars for no good reason other than they're bored and they like killing.

Some things just don't change no matter where you go.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

On planet Alty there are several species of mammal-insect hybrids (really hairy spiders with kitten faces, land-whales that move like catapilars, dragonfly sloths) who are all intelligent and fully conscious and capable of producing technology, but dont communicate well outside their own species.

Instead they wage long, bloody, adorable wars for no good reason other than they're bored and they like killing.

Some things just don't change no matter where you go.

[P3nT4gR4m]

On planet Vitriol all the continents are shaped to spell out the words "FUCK YOU" in letters 2000 miles high. This helps encourage a steady stream of outraged alien invasion forces because fighting amongst ourselves got boring after a while.

[AFK]

Planet RWHN is the funniest planet in the Universe.  RWHN inhabitants have marvelous and impressive comedic talents.  However, RWHN can be a deadly planet for non-RWHNians to visit.  In fact there was a recent report of a crew from Earth trying to make peaceful contact with the planet.  All 4 crew members died on the surface, unable to acclimate to the hilarity.  One of the members managed to get a signal off before he perished, reporting that, "they've laughed their damned heads off."

[Suu]

...You mean I DON'T live on my own planet?! Oh man, my parents have been lying to me for YEARS.

[LMNO]

Planet LMNO is ZALGO PORN.