Doktor Howl's Secret Enemies List, with commentary.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel is TINY.

I didn't on purpose. 

But you're so adorable!  SO VERY TINY!

Is for blame Grandmama. She was a Pictish Dwarf Viking*.

*not even kidding. Bitch was 4'8".

Again, Frenchmen go all the way to the ground.  Height is not an issue for ax-wielding berserkers.

Is true. Especially for Grandmama and Uncle Dave.

[Don Coyote]

Nigel is TINY.

I didn't on purpose. 

But you're so adorable!  SO VERY TINY!

Is for blame Grandmama. She was a Pictish Dwarf Viking*.

*not even kidding. Bitch was 4'8".

Again, Frenchmen go all the way to the ground.  Height is not an issue for ax-wielding berserkers.

Is true. Especially for Grandmama and Uncle Dave.

So, being as they were tiny berserkers would one posit that their axes would be beneath easy viewing for the advantaged?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel is TINY.

I didn't on purpose. 

But you're so adorable!  SO VERY TINY!

Is for blame Grandmama. She was a Pictish Dwarf Viking*.

*not even kidding. Bitch was 4'8".

Again, Frenchmen go all the way to the ground.  Height is not an issue for ax-wielding berserkers.

Is true. Especially for Grandmama and Uncle Dave.

So, being as they were tiny berserkers would one posit that their axes would be beneath easy viewing for the advantaged?

Yes, I would say that their contrary adversaries didn't even know about their particularly small but deadly hatchets.

[Don Coyote]

Nigel is TINY.

I didn't on purpose. 

But you're so adorable!  SO VERY TINY!

Is for blame Grandmama. She was a Pictish Dwarf Viking*.

*not even kidding. Bitch was 4'8".

Again, Frenchmen go all the way to the ground.  Height is not an issue for ax-wielding berserkers.

Is true. Especially for Grandmama and Uncle Dave.

So, being as they were tiny berserkers would one posit that their axes would be beneath easy viewing for the advantaged?

Yes, I would say that their contrary adversaries didn't even know about their particularly small but deadly hatchets.

Saturday morning there will be WOMPs.

[The Johnny]

Johnny:  Reminds me of Leslie Gore ballads.

Im sorry i made Leslie cry at her party; if it makes her feel any better, tell her i left Judy too, and i myself dont know where i went.

P.S. tell that bitch to give me back my ring.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel is TINY.

I didn't on purpose. 

But you're so adorable!  SO VERY TINY!

Is for blame Grandmama. She was a Pictish Dwarf Viking*.

*not even kidding. Bitch was 4'8".

Again, Frenchmen go all the way to the ground.  Height is not an issue for ax-wielding berserkers.

Is true. Especially for Grandmama and Uncle Dave.

So, being as they were tiny berserkers would one posit that their axes would be beneath easy viewing for the advantaged?

Yes, I would say that their contrary adversaries didn't even know about their particularly small but deadly hatchets.

Saturday morning there will be WOMPs.

YESSSSSSSSS

[Epimetheus]

Epithemius:  Fucks off for years at a time, just to piss me off.

And you spell my name so miserably as an act of revenge. I get it.

[Doktor Howl]

Epithemius:  Fucks off for years at a time, just to piss me off.

And you spell my name so miserably as an act of revenge. I get it.

No, that was just fatigue and PILLS HERE.

My revenge will be a thing of truck stop LEGEND.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm not WELSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd expect you to say that.

I also got accused of being Scottish at a ren faire this weekend.

You should have ran with it.

Nigel weaseled out of being Welsh on account of the Island of Orkney.  She had to give up metal tools to do it, though.

I think I was also accused of being Irish too 

I'm not sure there's a functional difference between Irish & Scottish.

We have the sense not to wear man-skirts in cold rainy weather.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Plus the Irish accent is marginally more intelligible. Unless you're from Louth.

[Doktor Howl]

Hovercat:  Won't tell me why her sister's nickname is "shoe ears".

[Don Coyote]

I'm not WELSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd expect you to say that.

I also got accused of being Scottish at a ren faire this weekend.

You should have ran with it.

Nigel weaseled out of being Welsh on account of the Island of Orkney.  She had to give up metal tools to do it, though.

I think I was also accused of being Irish too 

I'm not sure there's a functional difference between Irish & Scottish.

We have the sense not to wear man-skirts in cold rainy weather.

itsa fookien kilt ya daft hf nekkid wretch.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I'm not WELSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd expect you to say that.

I also got accused of being Scottish at a ren faire this weekend.

You should have ran with it.

Nigel weaseled out of being Welsh on account of the Island of Orkney.  She had to give up metal tools to do it, though.

I think I was also accused of being Irish too 

I'm not sure there's a functional difference between Irish & Scottish.

We have the sense not to wear man-skirts in cold rainy weather.

itsa fookien kilt ya daft hf nekkid wretch.

Yeah you can call it anything you want, it's still a skirt for dudes.....

[Don Coyote]

I'm not WELSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd expect you to say that.

I also got accused of being Scottish at a ren faire this weekend.

You should have ran with it.

Nigel weaseled out of being Welsh on account of the Island of Orkney.  She had to give up metal tools to do it, though.

I think I was also accused of being Irish too 

I'm not sure there's a functional difference between Irish & Scottish.

We have the sense not to wear man-skirts in cold rainy weather.

itsa fookien kilt ya daft hf nekkid wretch.

Yeah you can call it anything you want, it's still a skirt for dudes.....

Why do you hate testicles?

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I'm not WELSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd expect you to say that.

I also got accused of being Scottish at a ren faire this weekend.

You should have ran with it.

Nigel weaseled out of being Welsh on account of the Island of Orkney.  She had to give up metal tools to do it, though.

I think I was also accused of being Irish too 

I'm not sure there's a functional difference between Irish & Scottish.

We have the sense not to wear man-skirts in cold rainy weather.

itsa fookien kilt ya daft hf nekkid wretch.

Yeah you can call it anything you want, it's still a skirt for dudes.....

Why do you hate testicles?

I love testicles, browned in butter with a touch of sage....

Oh wait, ummmm I like testicles, they are squishy.......