Italy to ban plastic bags

[Suu]

I don't want kids, and I always joke about that I hate them, but that's not true. They just...aren't my thing. And it's very hard to be a parent, and that's something that my lifestyle as I live it won't allow.

I will, however, be "that crazy awesome" aunt.

[East Coast Hustle]

Nobody's like "Yup, that's why I only have sex with prostitutes" when relationship issues come up.

Boy, are you wrong about THAT!

[AFK]

I'm guessing when Charley started this thread he hadn't imagined we'd end up talking about Frank Zappa and child-bearing.  

[Phox]

Besides, maybe Hoops is just so traumatized from having to wade through vaginas all day, that the last thing he wants to see is a screaming, purple baby coming through one of those things.    

Pussy. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nobody's like "Yup, that's why I only have sex with prostitutes" when relationship issues come up.

Boy, are you wrong about THAT!

[the last yatto]

Show me the carhouse fax!

[Phox]

I'm the House Phox. 

[Aucoq]

Nobody's like "Yup, that's why I only have sex with prostitutes" when relationship issues come up.

Boy, are you wrong about THAT!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think anyone "should" want to have kids. I'm just wondering why people who don't have them by choice say things like that. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything like that about other areas of life, like having a house or a car or a partner or a business or friends or pets. Is it that they just can't wrap their heads around the idea of enjoying having the little freaks around?

[hooplala]

Sorry, not meaning all that vitriol at you personally, Hoopla. It's just a sore spot, especially after hearing it from two people in particular all last summer. I finally snapped and told them both off. I only have my kids half time, so when they're home I WANT to hang out with them, and having people act like it was some terrible burden I was suffering through really, really pissed me off. I finally told them that I was only saying I couldn't hang out with them to spare their feelings, because it seemed rude to tell them I'd rather hang out with my kids.

Hay, don't worry about it, I can't say something like that without expecting a little tongue lashing in return. 


I said that because I can't imagine having to go through checking a house for possible peanut contamination, the very thought of it makes me want to curl up and perish... I know I would if I had a kid, but hell if I want to go through that, so it reminds me why I don't have kids to begin with, which is basically because I'm a selfish fuck who doesn't want someone else to cramp his fun.  I mostly like kids, but the idea of being responsible for a human life, especially a delicate impressionable human life, is a horrifying concept to me.

[hooplala]

I don't think anyone "should" want to have kids. I'm just wondering why people who don't have them by choice say things like that. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything like that about other areas of life, like having a house or a car or a partner or a business or friends or pets. Is it that they just can't wrap their heads around the idea of enjoying having the little freaks around?

Not at all, I've seen other parents with their kids (pretty much everyone in my immediate circle of friends has kids now), but I also see all the bad points about being a parent, which it seems like fade in the mind of the actual parent because it is overshadowed by the good points.  But from an outside perspective it all seems like way too much.  For me.  And now and then things remind me of that.  Like babysitting my niece and nephew... or thinking about checking a house for smoke or peanut residue.

Sorry if I offended any parents.

[Eater of Clowns]

I don't think anyone "should" want to have kids. I'm just wondering why people who don't have them by choice say things like that. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything like that about other areas of life, like having a house or a car or a partner or a business or friends or pets. Is it that they just can't wrap their heads around the idea of enjoying having the little freaks around?

There are a lot of parents who talk about their precious little miracles, from every vocalized misconception they have about the way the world works to their rapidly increasing size.  It's understandable, because that's pretty much what that person's life becomes, but it's tiresome.  I think the "this is why I don't have kids" is a counter to that.  There are too many parents who don't realize how incredibly uninteresting their kids actually are to anyone but themselves.  It's like people who talk about their cats, or that dream they had that, you don't even know, felt so real.

Then for some, like me, having kids is up in the air, so the "this is why I don't have kids" is less a snooty look-how-free-I-am statement and more an affirmation as to the decision (not that it's much a decision at this point).

[Adios]

I'm guessing when Charley started this thread he hadn't imagined we'd end up talking about Frank Zappa and child-bearing.  

I should have stayed in lurk mode. Where I am now.

[Aucoq]

There are a lot of parents who talk about their precious little miracles, from every vocalized misconception they have about the way the world works to their rapidly increasing size.  It's understandable, because that's pretty much what that person's life becomes, but it's tiresome.  I think the "this is why I don't have kids" is a counter to that.  There are too many parents who don't realize how incredibly uninteresting their kids actually are to anyone but themselves.  It's like people who talk about their cats, or that dream they had that, you don't even know, felt so real.

EoC makes a great point.  Also, for me, it has a lot to do with the fact that it's expected of you, in my neck of the woods at least, to get married and have kids.  You're not an adult and productive member of society until you've done so.  People my age who are getting married and having kids even look down on us who aren't as "mature" and "established" as them.  I've never thought of me saying it before, but I suppose it's almost like a knee-jerk reaction to that fact.  When those who are better than me complain because they can't enjoy those great single life moments because of their spouse or kids, that's my chance to jab them a little and maybe say "you aren't as great as you think you are."  But then again, I don't really focus on people with kids, and I only really say it to people who try to use their marriage or kids as a way to show why they're better than me.  I say "that's why I'm glad I'm not married/in a serious relationship" just as much as, if not more than, I say "that's why I'm glad I don't have kids."

[AFK]

As I said, we all walk different paths.  Some of us are hit with the Shrapnel of wanting to procreate, whether it be family, society, or just that biological clock ticking, and so we enter the pathways that hopefully lead to a little bundle of joy or two.  I know I've always wanted to have kids.  Not for the typical macho man reasons of wanting to keep my bloodline and last name going and all that jazz.  I'm just naturally drawn to having a little one or two around to explore the world with. 

Last night I got out a couple of my hand drums and the boy and I played a bit.  (he's not too shabby for a 9-month old).  Now, I've been in plenty of drum circles with adults and friends, but, it felt a bit more special, to me, to be having that experience with my boy.  Especially since this is something brand new to him that he is exploring, rhythm.  It was a hoot.