Only another 9 days....

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I say we all gather at the hunting section of Walmart at 5:50 pm that day and get a leg up on other looters by stealing guns and ammo first.

Then, kegger at the local church after a couple hours of stealy-takey.

Maybe LMNO, dimo and I can get that show together after all.

Kind of depends, are all christians going to be taken or just the "special" ones?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I say we all gather at the hunting section of Walmart at 5:50 pm that day and get a leg up on other looters by stealing guns and ammo first.

Then, kegger at the local church after a couple hours of stealy-takey.

Maybe LMNO, dimo and I can get that show together after all.

Kind of depends, are all christians going to be taken or just the "special" ones?

I got the sense that anyone who accepts Jesus as their Savior gets the floating treatment. So that includes all of them, even the ones the Rapturites don't want to come with them.

That's something that never really made sense with me. That you had to accept Jesus to be saved and born again, even though people who already accept that aren't saved and born again. Protestants in America are a bit crazy, no?

[Mangrove]

e-mail:
familyradio@familyradio.org
webservant@familyradio.org
info@familyradio.org

Send your derisive, post-apocalyptic e-mails to the above addresses!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I keep getting texts from this one friend of mine asking if I'm going to steal a car to go visit one last time before the world ends.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I keep getting texts from this one friend of mine asking if I'm going to steal a car to go visit one last time before the world ends.

If the wackos are right, we have 5 months to thoroughly trash the hotel room.

[Freeky]

Wait, what? I thought the end of the world meant everything stops?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait, what? I thought the end of the world meant everything stops?

According to these guys, Judgment Day is synonymous with the Rapture, which occurs with totally metal earthquakes on Saturday. Then, we disbelievers are left to suffer here for another 5 months and the Universe ceases to exist by God's fiery destructive wrath on October 21, 2011.

So we got 5 months to get our drink/nuclear bombs/looting/knifey-flamey/Russian roulette/orgies/etc... on until Game Over.


Provided of course, that you do not accept Jebus.


Blight,
Really looking forward to the next 5 months either way.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait, what? I thought the end of the world meant everything stops?

According to these guys, Judgment Day is synonymous with the Rapture, which occurs with totally metal earthquakes on Saturday. Then, we disbelievers are left to suffer here for another 5 months and the Universe ceases to exist by God's fiery destructive wrath on October 21, 2011.

So we got 5 months to get our drink/nuclear bombs/looting/knifey-flamey/Russian roulette/orgies/etc... on until Game Over.


Provided of course, that you do not accept Jebus.


Blight,
Really looking forward to the next 5 months either way.

Now granted, this does not even remotely resemble the time line given by all other Raptards. Other ones give 7 years of Antichrist and 666 and all that even cooler metal shit.

Of course the Catholic church's position is that this all happened under the reign of Nero, so mileage may vary.

Blight,
Once again noting former Catholicism.

[Freeky]

Goddammit.  I'm scared shitless, even though I'm like "But wait, the calendar isn't the same.  Wasn't there a jump somewhere?"  And my best friend believes this Saturday is Judgement Day.   And then I'm like "What if I never see monkey again?" 

Fuck it, I'm downing half a bottle of pills so I don't give a damn for two days. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

None of it makes any sense from even a Christian perspective.

The Rapture was thought up by some delusional chick in some sort of diseased stupor 150 years ago and is pretty much heresy, except for the fact that people believe it.

Even if it were canon and orthodox, The Rapture is not the same as Judgment Day as Judgment Day is the very last day when all humans are resurrected and judged (hence the name) rather than raptured.

The Tribulations last about 7 years after the heretical Rapture.

Oh wait, we forgot all that shit where Jesus comes down, establishes a global kingdom for One Thousand Years while Satan is safely locked away. After the Battle of Armageddon. And this bears repeating. Jesus comes down, locks Satan up in jail and then takes over the world for One Thousand Years after which time Satan comes back, and for some reason, people have conveniently forgotten that God Incarnate has been President of Earth for the past One Thousand Years and start to fall in deception again at which point Jesus says, "That's it! I've had it with these mother fucking Satans on this mother fucking Earth!" And then world gets destroyed.

Christians don't even know their own fucking prophecies.


1000 YEARS

/Drunk ramble, hope it was educational, or at least coherent.

[Freeky]

It was until the last couple of sentences, and then I think you just left a couple of qualifiers out or something.

I feel better (for now, anyway).  Think denominations other than Catholics would listen to that argument?

[Freeky]

Wait, what? I thought the end of the world meant everything stops?

According to these guys, Judgment Day is synonymous with the Rapture, which occurs with totally metal earthquakes on Saturday. Then, we disbelievers are left to suffer here for another 5 months and the Universe ceases to exist by God's fiery destructive wrath on October 21, 2011.

So we got 5 months to get our drink/nuclear bombs/looting/knifey-flamey/Russian roulette/orgies/etc... on until Game Over.


Provided of course, that you do not accept Jebus.


Blight,
Really looking forward to the next 5 months either way.

According to these people, the final end happens the day after my birthday.  What a shitty gift, do you think I can return it?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It was until the last couple of sentences, and then I think you just left a couple of qualifiers out or something.

I feel better (for now, anyway).  Think denominations other than Catholics would listen to that argument?

Yes. Most Christians pay attention to the 1000 years part. It's not a small space of time. No as far as Rapture, varying groups consider it to occur at different times of prophecy unfolding. Provided, of course, that you are Protestant. But a lot of them think that God would not let his best believers suffer the wrath of the Antichrist, even though the Antichrist totally wastes God's 2 prophets.

I'm still rambling because there's a lot of ground to cover. Honestly, I recommend reading the Book of Revelation (linguistic side note, Apocalypse merely means "Revelation" in Greek). Not only because it will put your mind at ease, but also makes for some really good monster fiction.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait, what? I thought the end of the world meant everything stops?

According to these guys, Judgment Day is synonymous with the Rapture, which occurs with totally metal earthquakes on Saturday. Then, we disbelievers are left to suffer here for another 5 months and the Universe ceases to exist by God's fiery destructive wrath on October 21, 2011.

So we got 5 months to get our drink/nuclear bombs/looting/knifey-flamey/Russian roulette/orgies/etc... on until Game Over.


Provided of course, that you do not accept Jebus.


Blight,
Really looking forward to the next 5 months either way.

According to these people, the final end happens the day after my birthday.  What a shitty gift, do you think I can return it?

Take it up with the management 

[Freeky]

It was until the last couple of sentences, and then I think you just left a couple of qualifiers out or something.

I feel better (for now, anyway).  Think denominations other than Catholics would listen to that argument?

Yes. Most Christians pay attention to the 1000 years part. It's not a small space of time. No as far as Rapture, varying groups consider it to occur at different times of prophecy unfolding. Provided, of course, that you are Protestant. But a lot of them think that God would not let his best believers suffer the wrath of the Antichrist, even though the Antichrist totally wastes God's 2 prophets.

I'm still rambling because there's a lot of ground to cover. Honestly, I recommend reading the Book of Revelation (linguistic side note, Apocalypse merely means "Revelation" in Greek). Not only because it will put your mind at ease, but also makes for some really good monster fiction.

I totally would if there were a bible in the house, or if I could remember to get one from my parent's house. 

My friend says she's a Christian Catholic and a Metaphysical Spiritualist... Poor girl.   She's probably not very happy about believing either, because she got told by a bunch of people she's going to hell for her job.