ITT: Luna's dealing with the shit in her head

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I honestly don't know what I'll do the first time Mr. Language shows up to one of FBF's cocktail parties with a new thing. Vomit, cry, attack, hide in the bathroom... it's anyone's guess.

[*GrumpButt*]

I honestly don't know what I'll do the first time Mr. Language shows up to one of FBF's cocktail parties with a new thing. Vomit, cry, attack, hide in the bathroom... it's anyone's guess.

You won't do any of these.

You will give them both that flinty eyed stare (you know the one) and continue on as if nothing has happened.

[Luna]

I honestly don't know what I'll do the first time Mr. Language shows up to one of FBF's cocktail parties with a new thing. Vomit, cry, attack, hide in the bathroom... it's anyone's guess.

What Grump said.  You're tougher than I am, and if I can keep my shit together, YOU can.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I honestly don't know what I'll do the first time Mr. Language shows up to one of FBF's cocktail parties with a new thing. Vomit, cry, attack, hide in the bathroom... it's anyone's guess.

What Grump said.  You're tougher than I am, and if I can keep my shit together, YOU can.

Well, given me, you are both almost certainly right. If I have to, I can probably enlist Space Cowboy to attend as my date. He has a girlfriend now, and I adore her, but he is still the hottest guy in Portland, and my friend, and both of them would almost certainly throw down for me in a pinch. (Especially because she kind of hates social events, and knows I would never do her wrong ever ever.)

[Luna]

I honestly don't know what I'll do the first time Mr. Language shows up to one of FBF's cocktail parties with a new thing. Vomit, cry, attack, hide in the bathroom... it's anyone's guess.

What Grump said.  You're tougher than I am, and if I can keep my shit together, YOU can.

Well, given me, you are both almost certainly right. If I have to, I can probably enlist Space Cowboy to attend as my date. He has a girlfriend now, and I adore her, but he is still the hottest guy in Portland, and my friend, and both of them would almost certainly throw down for me in a pinch. (Especially because she kind of hates social events, and knows I would never do her wrong ever ever.)

There ya go.  Having friends there for you can make all the difference.

Hell, even the king made time to take me off to the side and try to cheer me up.  (He can't stand the little tramp, she's got a long history of offending people in the SCA.)

[Thurnez Isa]

Take it from someone who was able to reconcile with someone who manipulated them for eight hellish years.

And I was easily manipulated due to my mental problems, something she convinced me not to seek help for. It's a chemical related issue and you could image how someone who views relationships in terms of power struggles could manipulate that, even without awareness they are doing so.
In fact she was so good at convincing me to ignore it that it wasn't till I totally went psychotic and had to be hospitalized and forced on meds. Only after all that I was able to put my past in perspective.

The trick is simple.
You have to do what seems unnatural and put yourself in their shoes.
The reason this could work is because you probably have built up an image of them in your head that is incorrect. You made them someone who they are NOT, and when it was reviled to you that this image is incorrect the world collapsed around you and that is why you break down when reminded.

I think when you see them for who they are really are and not whom you imagined them to be you will find those feelings will start to dissipate.

I'm friends with my ex right now, and can remain that with no feelings of attraction, ill-will or jealousy towards her.
And we're talking about someone who once held a knife to my throat, and consistently threatened to slit her wrists and once made me feel horrible by saying she the only reason she didn't kill herself was cause of some other guy. And that is just the tip of the ice berg of what went on.
But when I was able to put myself in her shoes and understand who she was, and her past then I lost the attraction, because it wasn't the person I was attracted to when I fell in love with her. I'm still in love with her, but not attracted to her, so I could remain friends now without any negativity on my part (and I'm immune to her attempts of manipulation cause I understand where it's coming from). She does have some redeemable qualities. She is kind when she removed from relationships, she is funny, social, actually loyal to her friends... all good qualities in a friend I never knew existed cause I had built up other qualities in her that she never had to begin with.

Of course you may find that there are no redeemable qualities in the person, but at least you could let go of who you think they are rather then who they are.

Of course this may not apply to you in which case I wasted a cup of late night tea.

I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense. It's not cause I'm drunk or emotional. It's just I'm not really good at these touchy feely stuff

so

There was this farmer that kept finding that his hens where always too warn out to lay eggs.
Then he started to find a few of them dying.
After some investigation he found out that his roaster was so horny that he was literally fucking them to death.
So he said to the roaster, "Watch out. If you don't calm down you will fuck yourself to death."
This did not help and the behavior continued.

Then one day he went outside and noticed some vultures circling his field.
He went to see what they were circling and found his roaster laying on his back with his feet in the hair.
The farmer said, "see what I told you. You didn't calm down now you fucked yourself to death."
Then the roaster turned his head towards the farmer and said, "Shut up! They're about to land!"

[Luna]

Interesting theory... but I don't need a friend a friend who has already proven that he will deliberately lie to me, not just once, but over a period of time.  I don't need a friend who will do something that he KNOWS will hurt me.  I'm too angry to even really think of that as a possibility right now.

[Thurnez Isa]

Not what I was trying to say
guess it came out wrong

[Luna]

Not what I was trying to say
guess it came out wrong

Quite possible I wasn't listening right, too, I'm not really in a good place to be really reasonable about the situation.  At least I'm aware of it.

I do see what you're saying...  I'm just not ready to try to see what he did as any kind of reasonable from his point of view just yet.

[Luna]

So, I had to send NYEX an e-mail.  He responds...  His signature quote is:

"Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again" - annonymus"

I find myself devoutly hoping that he screws up again, spectacularly.  Preferably getting busted cheating in a public venue... maybe with somebody inclined to take video and post it on Facebook.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

[Luna]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

What's going to feel good is when I stop getting ideas based on, "wouldn't he just HATE..."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

What's going to feel good is when I stop getting ideas based on, "wouldn't he just HATE..."

Yep, that too!

[Luna]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

What's going to feel good is when I stop getting ideas based on, "wouldn't he just HATE..."

Yep, that too!

Considered a fairly epic bad idea simply because I knew it would go up his ass sideways.

Decided that I was worth more than that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

What's going to feel good is when I stop getting ideas based on, "wouldn't he just HATE..."

Yep, that too!

Considered a fairly epic bad idea simply because I knew it would go up his ass sideways.

Decided that I was worth more than that.

Absolutely.

Have you considered keeping a divorce notebook? You can pour out all your hate and negativity and even the occasional nostalgia for the good times, and getting it out of your head and onto a page helps a LOT. Eventually you stop thinking about him, and when it's been a couple of weeks since you've felt a need to write in it, you can stick it in a box and never look at it again. Or ritually burn it in a bonfire on the beach, or something.