STOP, part 1: Cafe Druids, Suburban Shamans, and all the other retards.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, May 17, 2011, 06:42:07 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

May 17, 2011, 06:42:07 PM
Stop.  Just fucking quit it.  Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mister Cafe Druid, Ms Suburban Shaman, Mister High Priest.  Knock it the fuck off.  You're wasting your life chasing something that doesn't exist, and you're wasting MY valuable time on Earth when you try to explain yourself.

STOP babbling about quantum mechanics as they relate to shamanism.  They don't.

STOP digging up dead Native Americans to "get in touch with your heritage".  There were no Native Americans in England, Germany, or Poland, so KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF.  We all know you're just going to sell the Native American's bits at the gem show anyway, you sick fuck.

STOP - for that matter - pretending you have Native American blood.  You're 100% Florida Jew (I'm talking to YOU, Maurine), though I have to say that it is humorous watching you stagger/waddle around in your mumu, losing track of whether or not you observe kosher rules.

STOP using faux-archaic expressions like "merry meet".  I'm fucking serious about this one.  I have a bad habit of slapping people who pull that shit IRL, and it's no better online. 

STOP claiming to be a 12th generation witch, unless you also happen to be Mormon.

STOP cluttering up the park in the daytime, when innocent children are subjected to your patchouli-stink and your ridiculous outfits and your laughable "rites".  Yes, we're laughing at you.  Yes, we're making fun of both you and your religion.  You didn't think that crowd gathering had your best interests at heart, did you, you fucking simpleton?

STOP going "skyclad", you fat fuck.  Unless your name happens to be Marissa Miller, there's absolutely NO FUCKING EXCUSE.  Put some fucking clothes on before Captain Ahab comes along.

STOP stinking up the local coffee shop with whatever mix of "oils" you insist on rubbing on yourself to cover your inability to shower.  Stop loudly "talking" about your beliefs, in the hope of drawing me into your conversation.  The results will not be pleasant.

That is all.  You may now return to your Ravenhard Silverwolfmoon bullshit.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#1
May 17, 2011, 06:47:10 PM
 :lulz:  That pretty much covers it all.

Adios

#2
May 17, 2011, 06:48:36 PM
Hell yes. May they all die naked in their own fire.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
May 17, 2011, 06:55:51 PM
:mittens: Oh god, ESPECIALLY the "Merry meet" part. What the fuck IS that, anyway? And "Bright blessings"?

Also, the loud talking. Sweet merciful shitfuckdamn. NOBODY CARES. Nobody is going to be impressed to overhear you talking about your stupid fucking rituals and religion. NOBODY is going to be all, oooooh, she's a witch! NOBODY FUCKING CARES SHUT UP.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Freeky

#4
May 17, 2011, 06:57:10 PM
But Nigel, it isn't their fault there aren't any more witch burnings. THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGHT THE POWER, MAN.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
May 17, 2011, 07:13:54 PM
Quote from: Jenkem and Tomahawks on May 17, 2011, 06:57:10 PM
But Nigel, it isn't their fault there aren't any more witch burnings. THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGHT THE POWER, MAN.

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
May 17, 2011, 07:28:57 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 17, 2011, 06:55:51 PM
:mittens: Oh god, ESPECIALLY the "Merry meet" part. What the fuck IS that, anyway? And "Bright blessings"?

Also, the loud talking. Sweet merciful shitfuckdamn. NOBODY CARES. Nobody is going to be impressed to overhear you talking about your stupid fucking rituals and religion. NOBODY is going to be all, oooooh, she's a witch! NOBODY FUCKING CARES SHUT UP.

We need to come up with our own.

Vile Blessings.

Condescending Meet!

*punch in the face*  <---  This is actually traditional among my ancestors, and if you can't handle that, then you must be on some kind of judgemental trip.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Precious Moments Zalgo

#8
May 17, 2011, 07:31:40 PM
Merry meet, stinky feet.
I will answer ANY prayer for $39.95.*

*Unfortunately, I cannot give refunds in the event that the answer is no.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#9
May 17, 2011, 07:34:58 PM
Well said Roger!

I mean if people feel some need for a 'spiritual' aspect to their life... then more power to the poor fools. However, don't try to make it more than a fantasy being used to help cope with reality :D
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Freeky

#10
May 17, 2011, 07:35:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 17, 2011, 07:28:57 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 17, 2011, 06:55:51 PM
:mittens: Oh god, ESPECIALLY the "Merry meet" part. What the fuck IS that, anyway? And "Bright blessings"?

Also, the loud talking. Sweet merciful shitfuckdamn. NOBODY CARES. Nobody is going to be impressed to overhear you talking about your stupid fucking rituals and religion. NOBODY is going to be all, oooooh, she's a witch! NOBODY FUCKING CARES SHUT UP.

We need to come up with our own.

Vile Blessings.

Condescending Meet!

*punch in the face*  <---  This is actually traditional among my ancestors, and if you can't handle that, then you must be on some kind of judgemental trip.

I've been telling people "May Tucson smile upon you."  It's a curse.  I like it.

Adios

#11
May 17, 2011, 07:36:14 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 17, 2011, 07:34:58 PM
Well said Roger!

I mean if people feel some need for a 'spiritual' aspect to their life... then more power to the poor fools. However, don't try to make it more than a fantasy being used to help cope with reality :D

Why bash Christians like that? :)

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
May 17, 2011, 07:36:24 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 17, 2011, 07:34:58 PM
Well said Roger!

I mean if people feel some need for a 'spiritual' aspect to their life... then more power to the poor fools. However, don't try to make it more than a fantasy being used to help cope with reality :D

Balls.  Let them have all the spirituality they like, if it helps them get through the night.  Just don't make me smell it.  
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#13
May 17, 2011, 07:38:15 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on May 17, 2011, 07:36:14 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 17, 2011, 07:34:58 PM
Well said Roger!

I mean if people feel some need for a 'spiritual' aspect to their life... then more power to the poor fools. However, don't try to make it more than a fantasy being used to help cope with reality :D

Why bash Christians like that? :)

:lulz:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 17, 2011, 07:36:24 PM
Balls.  Let them have all the spirituality they like, if it helps them get through the night.  Just don't make me smell it. 

100% TROOF


- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
May 17, 2011, 07:38:30 PM
"Condescending meet" has me giggling like a ninny!

Also, "May Tucson smile upon you".  :horrormirth:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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