Quotes of the Moment II

[Reginald Ret]

I must take a moment to point out that strawberries will make milk distinctly strawberry-flavored and turn it bright pink, and that also for some mysterious reason ultra-pasteurization is not considered an "artificial preservative" and will make milk keep for a month. Which frankly creeps me out.

My dad used to grow strawberries on his farm which were a variety with an intense flavor, specifically for the jam and flavorings industry. Best strawberries ever, but you can't buy them in the supermarket because they're small, spoil easily and don't transport well.

All true.  However, I checked on the side, and they use some kind of beetroot extract for the colouring, and there were more E numbers than the East Central postcode in the drink.

yeah, they usually use beetroot for pink coloring here too. What's an E number?

Artificial additives.

Are any of them technically flavoring, coloring, or preservatives? I bet they're technically not. Weaselly bastards!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_number

E numbers are codes for food additives that have been assessed for use within the European Union (the "E" prefix stands for "Europe").[1] They are commonly found on food labels throughout the European Union.[2] Safety assessment and approval are the responsibility of the European Food Safety Authority.[3]

Because vitamin C has an E number (actually several E numbers, 300-305, for different chemical forms of the vitamin), it is impossible to live on a diet without any substances that have E numbers. "Free of E numbers" then simply means that pure forms of the substances are not intentionally added, even though identical substances certainly exist naturally in many foods.

E162    Beetroot Red, Betanin    Red    Approved in the EU.[7] Approved in the US.[8]

[Triple Zero]

E621 is MSG, for instance.

The 100s are colourings and the 200s are preservatives, IIRC.

It's partly so they won't have to print scary-sounding chemicals (though a lot of E numbers are perfectly harmless) and partly because I suppose it saves space on the label or something.

[Suu]

Sister: You're coming with me to Applebee's tonight.

Me: Um, why?

Sister: Because it's 2 for 1 drinks and 1/2 price apps after 10! My friends and I always go on Thursdays.

Me: We'll see, I gotta save my cash, you know.

Sister: Oh, I didn't say you were drinking, I need you to drive home, because I usually have 4 or 5.

Me: WTF?

[Suu]

I PeeDee troll'd a bar tonight.

Bartender Mike: Heads up, I put a significant amount of tequila in those.

Me: No worries, I'm a goddamn industry professional.

Mike: Meaning?

Sister: It means she's a drunk who forgot to warn you that tequila has no effect on her.

Me: I win bets!

Sister: You should see what she does with a whole bottle.

Mike: ...Dare I ask?

Me: I stick it up my ass and whistle, "Yankee Doodle".

Mike: OMFG, marry me!

Sister: WHAT?!

Me: It's from a personal ad a Holy Man^TM wrote for me.

Mike: We have a Holy blessing. Marriage! NOW!

Sister: DAMN YOU. YOU'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD.

Me: No, I'm simply blessed^TM.

[Slurrealist]

If you will change the rules of what controls you, you will change the rules of what you can't control.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Coworker: kev how do you think this persons name is pronounced? Some swedish couple named their kid that.

Me: :looks at article and the random string of letters and numbers: i think its pronounced "my parents are retarded assholes"

[Suu]

Dad: Look Suu, "The 7 Signs of the Apocalypse" is on.

Me: Dad, I don't watch that shit. It poisons peoples brains and breeds conspiracy theorists.

Dad: True...at least it creates entertaining lunatics.

Me: No, the really entertaining lunatics are the ones that need to get sucked up with the Rapture, then I can have my goddamn planet to myself.

Dad: Bullshit, Blondie sang that song long before those idiots came up with that!

Me: Why do you only think about music?

Dad: There's a song for everything, I've been telling you this since you were a little kid.

[Cramulus]

Friend of mine:

My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Rick Perry in Iowa:

"Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don't have to buy from a foreign source."

[Freeky]

Rick Perry in Iowa:

"Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don't have to buy from a foreign source."

My brain rear ended the one in front of it by rubbernecking at the train wreck of this sentence.  :*(

[Richter]

I think I'm "writing in" a puddle of gametes on my card for 2012.  In good conscience I must vote for the most compete set of chromosomes I can.

[Freeky]

Roger:  It's not my problem, I don't have to look at myself.
Me:  Well, the rest of the world does, and if you want us to stop puking in your cheerios then you better shape the fuck up!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Me: im thinking of getting a vanity plate.
Villager: yeah? What are you going to get?
Me: i dunno yet. But it will be fun and might make it easier to find if it gets stolen.
Villager: how about "STOLEN"

[Suu]

Rick Perry in Iowa:

"Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don't have to buy from a foreign source."

Oh, my, god.

Did he say this in Iowa?

[Cain]

While Rick Perry's own statement is laughably stupid, the thinking behind it is even stupider.  Who else are they gonna sell oil to?  If the US stops buying, world prices will drop massively, and China ain't gonna pick up that slack.  Shit, California uses more oil than China right now.

Sure, US strategic reserves are pathetic, but last time I looked, most oil-rich countries tend to have poor, angry populations kept in line through buying off key constituencies and lots and lots of mercenaries.  Good luck paying them when your major commodity is dropping in price and isn't being bought as much.

I'm massively in favour of this outcome, naturally, as nothing gives me quite that warm feeling as the idea of a bloated oil sheikh having his own mercs pull a Praetorian Guard on him (one of the many reasons I love it when the Russians dick around with oil production levels, since they do it entirely to piss off OPEC), but srsly, oil is oil and the US gobbles up so much of that shit anyone trying to do a blockade is going to end up hurting themselves more.