Nigels's stupid dating story thread

[Triple Zero]

The way I see it, if I keep seeing the shipwright my goal should be to keep it quiet enough for long enough that by the time M.L. even realizes, I'll be well and truly over him.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SMART PLAN, NIGEL. IM WRITING IT IN CAPS TO SHOW HOW MUCH I AGREE WITH IT

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks, guys!

I feel like the combination of not seeing/talking to M.L. and also (I hope) spending time with the shipwright will be exactly what the doctor ordered.

[Suu]

Here's a pic: http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/263108_153199021420522_153195698087521_331529_5671877_n.jpg

Not bad. 

$10 says if you start dating him, Mr Language will suddenly change his mind.

Dok,
Knows guys, being one.

THIS.

But whatever you do, don't look back. Keep your head high, and move on like I did.

[Doktor Howl]

Here's a pic: http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/263108_153199021420522_153195698087521_331529_5671877_n.jpg

Not bad. 

$10 says if you start dating him, Mr Language will suddenly change his mind.

Dok,
Knows guys, being one.

THIS.

But whatever you do, don't look back. Keep your head high, and move on like I did.

And Suu is an expert on relationships.   

Dok,
Will, of course, ask you to refrain from remarking on HIS shit, which is totally different for reasons that do not concern you.

[Suu]

No, fuck no. But to be honest, you guys here have actually helped me A LOT, especially you, Roger.

[Doktor Howl]

No, fuck no. But to be honest, you guys here have actually helped me A LOT, especially you, Roger.

We doktors aim to please.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Don't get me wrong.

I miss our friendship terribly. You were my best friend as well as my lover, and we had things together... effortless kinds of communication at times... that felt mystical. I miss that. But I miss too many other things. I miss falling asleep and waking up next to you. I miss conspiring with you. I miss laughing with you. I miss the feeling of partnership, of potential, of being your support system and you being mine. I miss making love with you. I miss the dream of traveling with you, and of being the home you return to. Sometimes it feels impossible that we are not a team, because teaming up with you felt right, and your absence from my life leaves such a void. It is true that life is easier without you in some ways, but I don't know if it offsets the things I miss.

All of these are the reasons that I can't be your friend. I won't even try, at this point, to say the right words, whatever they are. This is just the way things have to be.

Yesterday I blocked my ex-boyfriend on Facebook. Again. Then I went for a two-mile run, trying to tire out the sorrow.

Blocking him seems childish in a way, but it is more than anything an admission that I'm not over him, not getting over him, and that there is no hope for us to be a couple again, now or ever, because the conditions of my exile require getting over him for there to be hope.

It's a double bind, a catch-22. There is nowhere to go with it. So I give up, and I give in to being hopelessly in love with him, and I give in to the permanence of being separated from him. I give in completely to his absence from my life. I admit my helplessness over the yawning void where it still feels his body and words should be. Time has not yet mitigated how much I miss him; at some point, he became something very like my best friend, and I have lost that as well as the other intimacies we shared. Sometimes it feels impossible.

Now, though, at least I can speak freely about him, and about myself, without the constant knowledge that he may be reading, interpreting, finding covert messages hidden within my status updates. Maybe someday my hands will stop shaking. And maybe someday, after hopelessness has worn its way through the soles of my running shoes, I'll be ready to move on and fall in love with someone else, someone completely different, completely unique, and completely wonderful in ways that could not possibly be any more unlike the man who previously occupied that space in my heart.

[Triple Zero]

Yesterday I blocked my ex-boyfriend on Facebook. Again. Then I went for a two-mile run, trying to tire out the sorrow.

Blocking him seems childish in a way, but it is more than anything an admission that I'm not over him, not getting over him, and that there is no hope for us to be a couple again, now or ever, because the conditions of my exile require getting over him for there to be hope.

It's not.

There's a reason they put that feature in there, and it's not just for blocking abusive or annoying people.

Your reason for blocking him is perfectly legitimate, and there's NOTHING WRONG WITH DOING IT.

Think of it as a spam filter, or how some people here don't read the recipes subforum, it's part of how the system works and there's nothing wrong with it. You're using a feature of FB so you won't be confronted with his actions every time you log on because it makes you feel terrible, that's a perfectly legitimate way to use the block feature. It's nothing personal. Well, it is personal, but not in that way, you don't have to view it as an attack, heaping him in with the category of people that you'd block for other reasons (being obnoxious or abusive, or other), view it as a way so YOU are filtering what you do and don't see on FB.

Additionally, don't think (oops I dont want to tell you what to think, sorry), he'll think "hey she blocked me, so she DOES care"--that doesn't make sense. Either he'll understand (you've given him enough hints) or he'll think "WTF SHE BLOCKED ME?!" in which case, fuck him. But to somehow wrap it in to "hey that means she cares" is just genuinely fucked up, and I know you think he might, but really, he probably doesn't.

You're doing well, Nigel

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks Trip. I'm trying.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

You deserve better Nigel.

I think you made the difficult but healthy decision and it will pay in spades farther on down the road.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I hope so.

Right now it feels like cutting him out of my life completely is the only road to happiness, as sad as it makes me and as much as I miss him.

[Don Coyote]

I had to do the same thing with my last ex. It hurt. Things will get better.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks, Coyote.

[Eve Hill]

You deserve better Nigel.

I think you made the difficult but healthy decision and it will pay in spades farther on down the road.

This.

[East Coast Hustle]

So um

I picked up a guy at a truck stop last night.

No, actually, it's classier than that, but still, that's basically what happened. I went to the Ponderosa Lounge at Jubitz to see the last Git Rights show because Michael Shawn is moving to Austin, and when I walked in there was this man. He was just standing there on the other end of the bar (one of those huge square bars like casinos have), like he had a right to be there or something. HOT HOT HOT. And that thing happened where our eyes met across the room. I was like, holy shit! So we just stared at each other while some random dude bought me a drink, and then I went and danced, and there he was over there so I went and stood next to him as bold as can be. It turned out that he's a friend of Michael Shawn's, which figures because Michael Shawn is also HOLY FUCKING HELL HOT.

And then we went to the afterparty at the Kenton and then we went to his house. Which is where I woke up.

He is a boat carpenter and he has a floating workshop (he showed me pictures of his work, it's beautiful). Conveniently, he lives about five blocks from my house.

I have never in my life picked up a guy in a bar. Granted, we have mutual friends and we were both there to see said mutual friends, but still. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.


Hello, summer.

That's awesome.

but calling Jubitz a truck stop is sort of like calling the Vatican a church.