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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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ITT: The New American Dream

Started by Cramulus, August 31, 2011, 06:38:17 PM

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Cramulus

#30
August 31, 2011, 07:51:28 PM
I want a choir of children to sing the theme song to Duck Tales at my funeral.

That's my American dream.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#31
August 31, 2011, 08:02:57 PM
To invent and make my fortune on an attractive and functional back boob bra.

That's my American dream.

P3nT4gR4m

#32
August 31, 2011, 08:59:08 PM
America sinks and we get sick tidal waves, blasting across the west coast and creating ULTIMATE GNARLY SUICIDE SURF!

I'm Scottish,
That's my American dream.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Doktor Howl

#33
August 31, 2011, 09:03:54 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 31, 2011, 08:59:08 PM
America sinks and we get sick tidal waves, blasting across the west coast and creating ULTIMATE GNARLY SUICIDE SURF!

I'm Scottish,
That's my American dream.


A REAL Scotsman would have put something in there about wading across a golf course covered in the guts of his enemies while eating haggis.
Molon Lube

Cramulus

#34
August 31, 2011, 09:05:38 PM
 :lulz: you guys are fucking hilarious, all of you



I want my lips, boobs, and ass to be constructed from the same material. I don't care whether that material is underarm fat or tapioca pudding, I just want some fucking consistency.


That's my American dream.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#35
August 31, 2011, 09:23:53 PM
I want to turn the arch, that gateway to the west, into a giant slingshot and sling crappy Budweiser Beer to all the homeless to the east.


That's my American dream.

Suu

#36
August 31, 2011, 09:33:43 PM
To allow my future daughters to wear thong underwear at the age of 5.


That's my American dream.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Suu

#37
August 31, 2011, 09:34:58 PM
To be able to eat what I want, when I want it, with as much additives and fat as possible and not be judged for my weight.


That's my American dream.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#38
August 31, 2011, 10:38:07 PM
 I want to run oil pipelines over every major water reservoir in the country, you know, to create jobs.

That's my American dream.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Epimetheus

#39
August 31, 2011, 10:52:45 PM
To provide starving children in third world countries with the iPhones they need.

That's my American dream.
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#40
August 31, 2011, 11:01:07 PM
To "pre-existing condition" people into bankruptcy or death because I want a yacht.

That's my American dream.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#41
August 31, 2011, 11:10:50 PM
To wear dancing shoes made from the teeth and skin of the orphaned children of the Bank of America board of directors.

That's my American dream.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Luna

#42
August 31, 2011, 11:53:27 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on August 31, 2011, 09:05:38 PM
:lulz: you guys are fucking hilarious, all of you



I want my lips, boobs, and ass to be constructed from the same material. I don't care whether that material is underarm fat or tapioca pudding, I just want some fucking consistency.


That's my American dream.

Honey, if your lips are the consistency of tapioca pudding, nobody is gonna kiss you more than once, no matter how pretty you are.

Me, I want a pill to give me back the boobs I had when I was sixteen.

That's my American dream.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Suu

#43
August 31, 2011, 11:58:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on August 31, 2011, 11:10:50 PM
To wear dancing shoes made from the teeth and skin of the orphaned children of the Bank of America board of directors.

That's my American dream.

FUCKING THIS
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Cainad (dec.)

#44
September 01, 2011, 06:58:20 AM
Quote from: Khara on August 31, 2011, 08:02:57 PM
To invent and make my fortune on an attractive and functional back boob bra.

That's my American dream.

Everything in this thread is hilarious, but I almost spewed beer at this one. :lol:
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