Well, that's interesting...

[Luna]

Found it.

Honest.

And you can't prove otherwise.

[Scribbly]

I wish I knew. Do you have any idea how to get it to stop making that distressing noise? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Where did you get yours, Roger?

And how did you get it to do that retracting thing, and make all those ridges?

I got it off the black market, down in Nogales.  Traded it straight up for a case of pulque and a truckload of out of work actors.  The retracting thing is standard in this model, which is why it was outlawed in this state, and why you can't send it through the mail, even if you could find a big enough box.  I tied it to the roof of the jeep, put a tarp over it, and hoped I wouldn't get pulled over (I would have told the cop that I thought it was drugs or something).

Nogales is not a good place. I was only there for 15 minutes, and it was not good.

For a while, I held life so cheap that I'd get helplessly fucked up in Nogales.

God protects the stupid, apparently.

Dude! 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I wish I knew. Do you have any idea how to get it to stop making that distressing noise? 

Feed the gerbil some Viagra.

[Scribbly]

Oh god.

Oh god it is everywhere.

Why would you even...?!

Oh GOD 

[Cainad (dec.)]

Where the hell did you get that?

Huh? Get what?



OH JESUS JACKRABBIT FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

No seriously how long has that been on me, what the fuuuuck

[Luna]

Where the hell did you get that?

Huh? Get what?



OH JESUS JACKRABBIT FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

No seriously how long has that been on me, what the fuuuuck

It was placed there while you slept at the NE Meatup.  I assure you, it was the kinder alternative.

I maintain that the other option would have been funnier, but agree that causing him the function of his (body part name redacted so as to not spoil the surprise for the next poor bastard) would have probably been overkill.