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ITT: TGRR helps you with your personals ads.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 08, 2011, 06:09:42 PM

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Juana

#240
November 14, 2011, 04:10:11 PM
Oooh, I like this guy. *adds him to columnists to follow* And we're also responsible for Cher and Chris Colfer.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

#241
November 14, 2011, 05:00:47 PM
Quote from: trix on November 12, 2011, 06:47:15 PM
hay roger, can i haz some of your sauce?  Milwaukee.craigslist needs moar funny

QuoteCollege Student Seeks Older Woman for Dysfunctional Romance

I am a callow university student, who is looking for a fat 45 year old woman with a grand total of two teeth that have never met.  You help me indulge my mommy issues, and I'll let you pretend you haven't burned up more than half your life expectancy swilling cheap liqour and bad crank.  It will be sort of like what happens to young soldiers who don't take their sergeant's advice, except without the paycheck (roach infested apartments are still an option, though!), but is guaranteed to end in shame, failure, and disgrace.  Respond now, as quantities are limited.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#242
November 14, 2011, 05:02:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 13, 2011, 04:29:55 AM
Roger, I need a new personal summary on my OKC page. Halp? Currently I have your Prince William Sound/Exxon Valdez ad in there, but for some reason it's just not drawing in the fine fine gentlemen.


Give me the list of form items, and I will make things horrible.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#243
November 14, 2011, 05:03:22 PM
Quote from: Beardman Meow on November 12, 2011, 09:33:01 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 09, 2011, 06:42:53 PM
If you need more, I can rip off another Joe Walsh song.
I AM HAVING TROUBLE PULLING FREAKS WITH THIS.

CAN I REROLL MY CHARACTER?

Okay.

Are we filling out a form, or just putting up a regular ad?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#244
November 14, 2011, 05:27:40 PM
I can't believe I still have no hits with mine.  Not even a "r u real" sort of post.  :lol:

Phox

#245
November 14, 2011, 05:29:01 PM
I got one hit. From someone trying to argue with me about the "divorcees" line.  :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#246
November 14, 2011, 05:32:30 PM
Quote from: Doktor Murderbitch Deezy Mac C on November 14, 2011, 05:29:01 PM
I got one hit. From someone trying to argue with me about the "divorcees" line.  :lulz:

The bit about Indianapolis didn't raise an eyebrow?

You have a winner, there.  Go for it!

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Phox

#247
November 14, 2011, 05:35:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 05:32:30 PM
Quote from: Doktor Murderbitch Deezy Mac C on November 14, 2011, 05:29:01 PM
I got one hit. From someone trying to argue with me about the "divorcees" line.  :lulz:

The bit about Indianapolis didn't raise an eyebrow?

You have a winner, there.  Go for it!

:lulz:

When I replied, he didn't send anything back, and that was a couple days ago, so I'm thinking I scared him off. Oh well.

Cain

#248
November 14, 2011, 05:54:18 PM
I've decided to reply to the one who contacted me.  I think I'm going to go with the "confess all my sins" angle, and see how that works out.

I mean, her reply is either incredibly wry or completely serious, so either way, I'm sure the response will be good.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#249
November 14, 2011, 06:51:58 PM Last Edit: November 14, 2011, 07:01:15 PM by Nigel
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 05:02:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 13, 2011, 04:29:55 AM
Roger, I need a new personal summary on my OKC page. Halp? Currently I have your Prince William Sound/Exxon Valdez ad in there, but for some reason it's just not drawing in the fine fine gentlemen.


Give me the list of form items, and I will make things horrible.

Woooo! They are:

My self-summary

What I'm doing with my life

I'm really good at

The first things people usually notice about me

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

The six things I could never do without

I spend a lot of time thinking about

On a typical Friday night I am

The most private thing I'm willing to admit

You should message me if

I can't wait to see what awful shit you come up with!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#250
November 14, 2011, 07:19:41 PM Last Edit: November 14, 2011, 07:21:20 PM by The Good Reverend Roger
My self-summary 40/F/Portland/Single/Misanthrope.

What I'm doing with my life Working artist, trying to maintain a social life while cranking out enough product to make the house note and cover the bills.  That's even harder than it sounds.

I'm really good at Fucking up relationships, snapping your limp hippie wrist from across the room just by flexing my womb, putting out glass on time and on spec, and wounding the inner child of people who can't get it through their stinking heads that "working at home" means "WORKING AT HOME", not "Patiently waiting for you to drop in or call during working hours."

The first things people usually notice about me I have angry, angry cheek bones, and a Mubarek (An ass that won't quit).

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food  Boondock Saints, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, City of Lost Children, Lassie Returns.

The six things I could never do without My three children, bourbon, smokes, and my parang.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.  WTF?

On a typical Friday night I am at an art gallery opening, or rolling drunk tea party freaks behind the sports bar.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit I have no time for people who won't work.  Look, I don't care WHAT you do for a living, as long as you DO something.  In my head, layabouts aren't really human.  That's terrible, I know, but I don't need any couch potatos in my life.

You should message me if your survival instincts are as bad as mine.  Seriously, not for the faint of heart.  I go through hipsters at a pace that would make Tallulah Bankhead blush, and you won't even get any sex out of it.  They'll just find you out behind your house with ahead full of bad crank, your thumbs tied together, wearing a pink tutu and bearing horrible new tattoos that you won't be able to hide from mom.  REAL MEN ONLY.  OR ELSE.


ETA:  I printed the list off, and I'll work on improving that.  But the parang stays in because, gosh darn it, I LOVE parangs.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#251
November 14, 2011, 07:40:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 07:19:41 PM
My self-summary 40/F/Portland/Single/Misanthrope.

What I'm doing with my life Working artist, trying to maintain a social life while cranking out enough product to make the house note and cover the bills.  That's even harder than it sounds.

I'm really good at Fucking up relationships, snapping your limp hippie wrist from across the room just by flexing my womb, putting out glass on time and on spec, and wounding the inner child of people who can't get it through their stinking heads that "working at home" means "WORKING AT HOME", not "Patiently waiting for you to drop in or call during working hours."

The first things people usually notice about me I have angry, angry cheek bones, and a Mubarek (An ass that won't quit).

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food  Boondock Saints, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, City of Lost Children, Lassie Returns.

The six things I could never do without My three children, bourbon, smokes, and my parang.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.  WTF?

On a typical Friday night I am at an art gallery opening, or rolling drunk tea party freaks behind the sports bar.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit I have no time for people who won't work.  Look, I don't care WHAT you do for a living, as long as you DO something.  In my head, layabouts aren't really human.  That's terrible, I know, but I don't need any couch potatos in my life.

You should message me if your survival instincts are as bad as mine.  Seriously, not for the faint of heart.  I go through hipsters at a pace that would make Tallulah Bankhead blush, and you won't even get any sex out of it.  They'll just find you out behind your house with ahead full of bad crank, your thumbs tied together, wearing a pink tutu and bearing horrible new tattoos that you won't be able to hide from mom.  REAL MEN ONLY.  OR ELSE.


ETA:  I printed the list off, and I'll work on improving that.  But the parang stays in because, gosh darn it, I LOVE parangs.

LOVE!!!  :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

trix

#252
November 14, 2011, 08:32:40 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 05:00:47 PM
Quote from: trix on November 12, 2011, 06:47:15 PM
hay roger, can i haz some of your sauce?  Milwaukee.craigslist needs moar funny

QuoteCollege Student Seeks Older Woman for Dysfunctional Romance

I am a callow university student, who is looking for a fat 45 year old woman with a grand total of two teeth that have never met.  You help me indulge my mommy issues, and I'll let you pretend you haven't burned up more than half your life expectancy swilling cheap liqour and bad crank.  It will be sort of like what happens to young soldiers who don't take their sergeant's advice, except without the paycheck (roach infested apartments are still an option, though!), but is guaranteed to end in shame, failure, and disgrace.  Respond now, as quantities are limited.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Now to register at craigslist!
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

Juana

#253
November 15, 2011, 01:40:08 AM
Got Ivy League dude's number. :)
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Luna

#254
November 15, 2011, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 15, 2011, 01:40:08 AM
Got Ivy League dude's number. :)

Yay!   :D

Now USE it.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."
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