Casual texting: with Richter!

[Suu]

Richter: Is peeing a perfectly mixed scotch and soda a bad sign? It's a bit awkward fighting off business execs after my single malt urine.

Suu: There's a market for this, I bet.

Richter: Guaranteed millions on the UK watersports circuit.

Suu: And Japan.

Richter: They lack the requisite dreary self loathing to appreciate this

Suu: True. I'm about to pee my morning cup of fair trade all over this bus. Now THAT'S Japanese.

Richter: You see what fair trade does to people? You see why we should keep down and exploit the plebeians?  So we don't publicly pee our togae!

Suu: Precisely, enough of these petty labour disputes. Grain for the Empire or GTFO.

Suu: Also: mink oil/wonder balsam is now forever known as boot lube.

Richter: Sword lube also works as boot lube. Many methods for easing ass/boot interface.

Suu: Ass to boot? Surely you mean boot to ass. Though, I'm sure if I really wanted to look, someone on the internet has tried to shove a Doc Marten up their poopchute.

Richter: Tempting. But if I'm really mad I will telekinesis their ass to my size 11 just to make a point.

Suu: ...I'm a sick fuck. I looked. Thankfully, nothing.

Richter: Damnit. I'll look later, too. It MUST exist.

Suu: I saw more heads up asses. Boots are better , imho.

Richter: Agreed