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Kicked Out of Yet Another Psychic Meetup. I Feel Unloved.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 13, 2012, 07:13:20 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 13, 2012, 07:13:20 PM
LMNO wanted more details about the last few weeks.  Well...Okay.

I went to a psychic meetup at some point last week.

As you may have guessed, it was the average bunch of FUCKING LAME-ASS LIMP-WRISTED PANTY-WAISTED SOFT MIDDLE-AGED MIDDLE-CLASS WIMPY FUCKING NEW AGERS, and they were talking about:

Quote"When I see someone smile... I smile too... I pick up on their feelings... I'm an empath"

"Me too... when I see someone frown... I frown... I'm psychic"

They're talking about "Peace, Love and Light" and the energy that comes from the color blue or crystals or or shiny fucking rocks (The Gem Show was still technically going on, so they all have shiny new lumps of cheap ass quartz hanging off their necks on bits of shoestring genuine Native American rawhide).

I've got major fucking issues at stake, here.  I'm seeing Aztec snakes under the running board and blades coming out of the southwest, I'm having things confirmed by the sporting news.  I see Laura Bush's pant suit flash at me on the TV screen while Katie Couric is on!  I spew this huge rant detailing ALL of my psychic phenomenon just to show the fuckers what it's like to be psychic.

AND THEY KICK ME OUT!

They can't HANDLE the Truth.  This insult shall not go unavenged.

There will be retribution for this awful snub.

Or Kill Me.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
February 13, 2012, 07:17:09 PM
 :eek:


I am awed by the vast HOLY™ I see before me.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
February 13, 2012, 07:21:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 13, 2012, 07:17:09 PM
:eek:


I am awed by the vast HOLY™ I see before me.

Freeky warned me.  She's all "DON'T GO IN THERE!", but Enabler was giggling, and how the fuck was I supposed to resist?  It was like having everyone on Mysticwicks as a captive audience, while some half-naked sasquatch wearing a flat cap (found one!  pics later.) makes awful noises and tries to make his case.

Fortunately, we were 2 blocks away when the cruiser rolled up, the cops having been called by the fat guy in the wolf tee shirt & pony tail.  I didn't break any laws, but I was pretty twisted, and probably could not have adequately explained my side of things, beyond animal grunting & perhaps throwing up.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
February 13, 2012, 07:22:39 PM
They don't like being upstaged, Roger.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

P3nT4gR4m

#4
February 13, 2012, 07:24:03 PM
Hijack their astral plane and fly it into the nearest patchouli factory.

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!
:walken:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
February 13, 2012, 07:25:16 PM
Quote from: Nigel on February 13, 2012, 07:22:39 PM
They don't like being upstaged, Roger.  :lulz:

So I gather.  If looks could kill, the group of fat ladies at the cheese & wine bar would have made mincemeat out of me.  You know the type...Breathless old bags who whimper on about how "the spirits are giving me a headache", yada yada.  I mean, if *I* was a spirit, would I haunt some fat old fraud, or Kathy Ireland's underpance?  I ask you.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

#6
February 13, 2012, 07:28:48 PM
 :mittens:

These people just aren't built to withstand that level of Truth. It makes their poor brains shrink back, wrap around their spines, and jab their stomach until they're a soiled mess gibbering on the floor. They got you out of their just before they started projectile vomiting and hacking up their own hair. Unleashing that much Holy puts them in "detox" mode.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
February 13, 2012, 07:30:22 PM
Next time Nigel comes down here, we're doing gallery openings my way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
February 13, 2012, 07:30:58 PM
Quote from: Alty on February 13, 2012, 07:28:48 PM
:mittens:

These people just aren't built to withstand that level of Truth. It makes their poor brains shrink back, wrap around their spines, and jab their stomach until they're a soiled mess gibbering on the floor. They got you out of their just before they started projectile vomiting and hacking up their own hair. Unleashing that much Holy puts them in "detox" mode.

I think their power animal totem spirits get all disgusted by mine.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#9
February 13, 2012, 07:34:23 PM
Psychic/spiritualist/new age reiki voodoo crystal acupuncture - Reality is far too complicated. Half-baked theories or GTFO!

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cramulus

#10
February 13, 2012, 07:35:07 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: that's hilarious ... do you know what exactly set them off? Did they feel like they were being mocked, or were they just intimidated by a wizard of your level? How did the cops get involved?

I've been to one of them psychic things, back when I lived in Albany. There's this place called the Triangle center? Something like that. This dude in fatigues, wolf shirt, and ponytail kept giving me the evil eye. He was clearly threatened by Eris' presence. The more I tried to see what was up with him, the more cold and territorial he got. Clearly putting on the Alpha show for the females. It was a totally disgusting episode.

The problem with those kinds of gatherings is that they're all open minded and accepting until you suggest that some of it might, you know, be bullshit.

Cainad (dec.)

#11
February 13, 2012, 07:37:18 PM
Uuuuuugh, they bought stuff from the Gem Show to get all fruity with? :vom:

For personal reasons, I hate that shit. A guy at a Ren Faire behind a counter full of shiny rocks I was looking at started talking that fluffy Reiki shit at me, and I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to take all the crystals with me, the same way you might want to take pets away from a neglectful owner.

Salty

#12
February 13, 2012, 07:38:46 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on February 13, 2012, 07:35:07 PM
The problem with those kinds of gatherings is that they're all open minded and accepting until you suggest that some of it might, you know, be bullshit.

Yes. This.

What I like to do with Reiki people is explain them that if it's universal energy then, uh, everything should be included. Then I start listing things that exist that are also horrible until they stop talking to me forever. They're so god damned NICE until then.

A lot of non-denominational christian I've met are the same way.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
February 13, 2012, 07:39:16 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on February 13, 2012, 07:35:07 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: that's hilarious ... do you know what exactly set them off? Did they feel like they were being mocked, or were they just intimidated by a wizard of your level? How did the cops get involved?

I've been to one of them psychic things, back when I lived in Albany. There's this place called the Triangle center? Something like that. This dude in fatigues, wolf shirt, and ponytail kept giving me the evil eye. He was clearly threatened by Eris' presence. The more I tried to see what was up with him, the more cold and territorial he got. Clearly putting on the Alpha show for the females. It was a totally disgusting episode.

The problem with those kinds of gatherings is that they're all open minded and accepting until you suggest that some of it might, you know, be bullshit.

I think it was the howling and gibbering that got them going.  I was completely around the bend on Holy Cactus™, and apparently they found the spectacle to be More Psychic Fun Than They Really Wanted.

I mean, they're not there for Holiness™, or even some sort of supernatural shit, right?  The men are there to get some fat smelly Pagan goodness, and the women are there to out-psychic each other.

I was there to tell them about THE MIGHTY ARIZONA COCKROACH, and how the place was filling up with bored Aztec gods and 70s gameshow hosts or some such shit.  This startled the herd.  And apparently, you can't have a cockroach as your power spirit animal totem thingie.  There's some kind of rule.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
February 13, 2012, 07:40:12 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 13, 2012, 07:37:18 PM
Uuuuuugh, they bought stuff from the Gem Show to get all fruity with? :vom:

For personal reasons, I hate that shit. A guy at a Ren Faire behind a counter full of shiny rocks I was looking at started talking that fluffy Reiki shit at me, and I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to take all the crystals with me, the same way you might want to take pets away from a neglectful owner.

Oh, that's just the beginning.  There's a whole industry centered on digging up Indian graves and then polishing and selling their bits as jewelry.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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