Run Portland

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Portland.  If you want to get shot by cops for no reason, jacked, stalked by creepy people from OKC, and/or drive off a bridge for no fucking reason, Portland. 

Also, gallery openings.

If I get shot by the cops, you can save the inquiry--they sure as shit had a reason...probably just ran out of reasons not to, in fact.

Real question: I'm coming sparse. I want to bring a week's worth of clothes. I live in a semi-arid desert. We stay dry or get torrented/blizzarded on. No idea what a week's worth of clothes is in the grey area out there. Helps?

[Don Coyote]

Portland.  If you want to get shot by cops for no reason, jacked, stalked by creepy people from OKC, and/or drive off a bridge for no fucking reason, Portland. 

Also, gallery openings.

If I get shot by the cops, you can save the inquiry--they sure as shit had a reason...probably just ran out of reasons not to, in fact.

Real question: I'm coming sparse. I want to bring a week's worth of clothes. I live in a semi-arid desert. We stay dry or get torrented/blizzarded on. No idea what a week's worth of clothes is in the grey area out there. Helps?

Rain gear.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Portland.  If you want to get shot by cops for no reason, jacked, stalked by creepy people from OKC, and/or drive off a bridge for no fucking reason, Portland. 

Also, gallery openings.

If I get shot by the cops, you can save the inquiry--they sure as shit had a reason...probably just ran out of reasons not to, in fact.

Real question: I'm coming sparse. I want to bring a week's worth of clothes. I live in a semi-arid desert. We stay dry or get torrented/blizzarded on. No idea what a week's worth of clothes is in the grey area out there. Helps?

Rain gear.

If you're like me, for one week in Portland, you will need:

1 pair of jeans. Maybe 2 if you're excitable.
1 pair of good, sturdy, fairly waterproof comfortable walking shoes.
4 pairs of socks.
7 pairs of underwear.
4 T-shirts.
1 warm sweater or hoodie.
1 reasonably rain-repellent coat.
1 bathing suit.
1 short skirt or pair of shorts.
Sunglasses.
Sandals.

If it's winter, you'll want a scarf and possibly a hat.

Do not bring an umbrella or any kind of hat that gets blown off by wind. They're useless. People think they should have an umbrella because it rains, but the rain just goes sideways and gets up under your umbrella, plus your legs are already getting all wet anyway, and the umbrella just makes you look like a chump when you're struggling to turn it back right-side out.

[East Coast Hustle]

Also, no self-respecting PNW-ite would be caught dead with an umbrella. It's how we know that somebody is bridge food.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, no self-respecting PNW-ite would be caught dead with an umbrella. It's how we know that somebody is bridge food.

Exactly.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, loving the term "bridge food".

Every once in a while you encounter a lone bicycle leaning against the bridge railing, and not a soul in sight.

[Don Coyote]

i own an ubrella. it's somewhere. i think.

[Salty]

So far all I've needed here is beer, which is aplenty. Everything else just sort of happens and no bears try to eat you. It's pretty fucking sweet.

I have once or twice wanted a club or a heavy wooden barstool. An umbrella would work, I guess.

ETA: Oh and that the electric mandolin cover band play some fucking slayer. A request they ignored with some hostility and continued to play the Beatles.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So far all I've needed here is beer, which is aplenty. Everything else just sort of happens and no bears try to eat you. It's pretty fucking sweet.

I have once or twice wanted a club or a heavy wooden barstool. An umbrella would work, I guess.

ETA: Oh and that the electric mandolin cover band play some fucking slayer. A request they ignored with some hostility and continued to play the Beatles.

Those guys were amazing.

Assholes with shitty taste in music, but amazing.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

So far all I've needed here is beer, which is aplenty. Everything else just sort of happens and no bears try to eat you. It's pretty fucking sweet.

I have once or twice wanted a club or a heavy wooden barstool. An umbrella would work, I guess.

ETA: Oh and that the electric mandolin cover band play some fucking slayer. A request they ignored with some hostility and continued to play the Beatles.

Let's not bring up beer please. I'm already choking up saying goodbye to a lot of family. Not even trying to think about what it's going to be like when I drive past New Belgium, O'Dell's and FCB for the last time.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So far all I've needed here is beer, which is aplenty. Everything else just sort of happens and no bears try to eat you. It's pretty fucking sweet.

I have once or twice wanted a club or a heavy wooden barstool. An umbrella would work, I guess.

ETA: Oh and that the electric mandolin cover band play some fucking slayer. A request they ignored with some hostility and continued to play the Beatles.

Let's not bring up beer please. I'm already choking up saying goodbye to a lot of family. Not even trying to think about what it's going to be like when I drive past New Belgium, O'Dell's and FCB for the last time.

Wait, I thought you were moving here. The microbrew capital of the US.

[East Coast Hustle]

Yeah, Colorado's beer scene has NOTHING on PDX's. It's like comparing a little league team to the Yankees.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

 ...and here I thought the only time I'd have to bust out home-town chest-thumping was when the Nugg's played the Blazer's. Guess that's the problem when you come from a state with a brew-master in the Governor's mansion, but titles like "Micro-brew Capital of the U.S." get thrown around all willy-nilly. 

IIRC, Portland hosts a stop on the Tour De Fat, right? It's no Mothership, but y'know...gotta throw the rabble a bone every now and again.

[East Coast Hustle]

It's not frivolous, PDX has more breweries than any other city in America.

More, in fact, than the entire STATE of Colorado. And seriously, New Belgian's best beer would be middle-of-the-road fare in Portland. And that's coming from someone who really likes most of New Belgian's beers.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

...and here I thought the only time I'd have to bust out home-town chest-thumping was when the Nugg's played the Blazer's. Guess that's the problem when you come from a state with a brew-master in the Governor's mansion, but titles like "Micro-brew Capital of the U.S." get thrown around all willy-nilly. 

IIRC, Portland hosts a stop on the Tour De Fat, right? It's no Mothership, but y'know...gotta throw the rabble a bone every now and again.

You'll see when you get here.

But if you're going to be a prick about it, you'll be drinking alone.