ATTN: FRIENDS OF EARTHA

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dude, your buddy Eartha is some kind of bugfuck lunatic, isn't she?    You should see the rambling, abusive PMs she's sending me... bragging about her degrees/certificates (TESOL? People brag about that? Really?) and her world travels. It's... kind of amusing, kind of sad, and completely bizarre.

Oh, and BadBeast is also a racist, misogynist twat with a two-by-four up his ass and a sense of humor from 1987.


Oh oh oh, also he is a poopy-bottom, and eats boogies.



(Edited for greater sensitivity)

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah, she's resorted to writing poems to me about wanking.   

Not to mention a few full page drunken screeds.

[Doktor Howl]

bragging about her degrees/certificates

"Double Major - Mediaeval History and Trad and Mod Philosophy."

TRANSLATION:  "Would you like fries with that?"

[Doktor Howl]

Eartha, you remind me of that gal that shows up at the Dew Drop Inn Tavern about 7 pm with a black eye and her hair all messed up telling everybody within ten feet of her how her boyfriend beat her up and threw her out again, while she digs around in her shitty vinyl purse for a smashed up pack of Virginia Slims with one dried out bent up cig inside, then she mooches beers and cigarettes for an hour or so until she goes out back with some guy and comes back a few minutes later alone with a ten dollar bill that she spends on shots of bar gin until she starts trying to sing along with the juke box going "Yer sweet smellin LAAAIIEES, CRAYzee on YIOO.... gunna go CRAYzee on YOOO..."

So they throw her out and she staggers around the parking lot shrieking "Ah HAYchoo yew muth'r FUKR! Ommina SUE you fr ALL YEW GOT! Yew lousy lyin stinkin SON uvva HOAR!", and when a car full of high school boys slows down to see what this crazy monster is she rips her shirt open and screams "GO HED! Have a GOOOD LOOK!", and that scares them off real fast so then she picks up half a brick out of a mud puddle and stands there weaving around looking evil for a minute..  Then, like she suddenly got an idea, she bolts for an old rusty pick up truck and starts trying to smash out a headlight but she keeps missing and just puts dents in the hood growling "How ya like it NOW HUH? Ya like THAT?"

And then the cops come and get her to put the brick down and she starts sobbing about how her boyfriend beat her up and she lost the last three jobs she had and they're gonna cut off her disability and when they try to get her in the police car she tries to come on to one of the cops which is just repulsive to them so when she's in the car and realizes she's going to the drunk tank AGAIN she starts snarling curse words nobody can even understand.

When she gets out in the morning she goes to her sister's house and her sister says "Your boyfriend left a bag full of clothes and stuff here and he said you broke all the windows and tried to set the place on fire", so the gal starts digging through the black plastic trash bag full of her crappy smelly clothes saying how nobody ever treats her fair and all she's doing is trying to live her life and her sister just goes uh huh because she's heard it ALL before.

Just saying.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

bragging about her degrees/certificates

"Double Major - Mediaeval History and Trad and Mod Philosophy."

TRANSLATION:  "Would you like fries with that?"

Not to mention, I'm not hiring, so I'm not sure why she thinks I'd care about her resume.   

Oh, she is PMing me like a madwoman now. Lookit her go! SQUEEEE!!!

[Doktor Howl]

bragging about her degrees/certificates

"Double Major - Mediaeval History and Trad and Mod Philosophy."

TRANSLATION:  "Would you like fries with that?"

Not to mention, I'm not hiring, so I'm not sure why she thinks I'd care about her resume.   

Oh, she is PMing me like a madwoman now. Lookit her go! SQUEEEE!!!

D/N/T drunken rage.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Eartha, you remind me of that gal that shows up at the Dew Drop Inn Tavern about 7 pm with a black eye and her hair all messed up telling everybody within ten feet of her how her boyfriend beat her up and threw her out again, while she digs around in her shitty vinyl purse for a smashed up pack of Virginia Slims with one dried out bent up cig inside, then she mooches beers and cigarettes for an hour or so until she goes out back with some guy and comes back a few minutes later alone with a ten dollar bill that she spends on shots of bar gin until she starts trying to sing along with the juke box going "Yer sweet smellin LAAAIIEES, CRAYzee on YIOO.... gunna go CRAYzee on YOOO..."

So they throw her out and she staggers around the parking lot shrieking "Ah HAYchoo yew muth'r FUKR! Ommina SUE you fr ALL YEW GOT! Yew lousy lyin stinkin SON uvva HOAR!", and when a car full of high school boys slows down to see what this crazy monster is she rips her shirt open and screams "GO HED! Have a GOOOD LOOK!", and that scares them off real fast so then she picks up half a brick out of a mud puddle and stands there weaving around looking evil for a minute..  Then, like she suddenly got an idea, she bolts for an old rusty pick up truck and starts trying to smash out a headlight but she keeps missing and just puts dents in the hood growling "How ya like it NOW HUH? Ya like THAT?"

And then the cops come and get her to put the brick down and she starts sobbing about how her boyfriend beat her up and she lost the last three jobs she had and they're gonna cut off her disability and when they try to get her in the police car she tries to come on to one of the cops which is just repulsive to them so when she's in the car and realizes she's going to the drunk tank AGAIN she starts snarling curse words nobody can even understand.

When she gets out in the morning she goes to her sister's house and her sister says "Your boyfriend left a bag full of clothes and stuff here and he said you broke all the windows and tried to set the place on fire", so the gal starts digging through the black plastic trash bag full of her crappy smelly clothes saying how nobody ever treats her fair and all she's doing is trying to live her life and her sister just goes uh huh because she's heard it ALL before.

Just saying.

Exactly.

Shit, I have five minutes to finish my breakfast before I have to leave for school... I guess I'll have to save the juicy screeching drunken screeds in my PM box for later. Crazy chick seriously popped a gasket because I asked her why she was obsessing over my profile and posts. 

[Doktor Howl]

What was it now?  More drivel about how you're a bad person for working while trying to get a degree?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

What was it now?  More drivel about how you're a bad person for working while trying to get a degree?

Yes, basically something like that. I didn't really read it... it was kind of nonsensical. She's probably too drunk to write a comprehensible sentence.

She also sent me the poem she wrote you. HOLY BATFUCK! That's some seriously weird stuff. 

[Doktor Howl]

What was it now?  More drivel about how you're a bad person for working while trying to get a degree?

Yes, basically something like that. I didn't really read it... it was kind of nonsensical. She's probably too drunk to write a comprehensible sentence.

She also sent me the poem she wrote you. HOLY BATFUCK! That's some seriously weird stuff. 

Yeah, and now we're "dull" and in the same sentence "funny".

She's been into the Sterno again. 

[Doktor Howl]

Also, you have to love how she goes from zero to Chris Brown in less than a second, and then jabbers some shit about how we are easily trolled.

[Cain]

Requesting x-posting of PMs please.

I know, I know, but these sound funny enough for the rules to be waived (which is, to me, always the best reason for making an exception).

[Eartha-ly Delights]

You two are pathetic.

How dare you attempt to involve him in this? Tell me in what manner he has had any part in any dispute you have ever had with me.Tell the whole forum just how you justify this calling him out in public on a board where I would warrant every regular user appreciates his contribution; his humour, his intelligence and his good nature.

Over something he has no knowledge of or control over.

Grow the fuck up and fight your own battles.

[Doktor Howl]

Requesting x-posting of PMs please.

I know, I know, but these sound funny enough for the rules to be waived (which is, to me, always the best reason for making an exception).

No sweat.  She was basically begging me to do so.

[Doktor Howl]

You two are pathetic.

How dare you attempt to involve him in this?

You set the rules here.  NOTHING is off limits, right?  Suck it up.

Grow the fuck up