Well, I survived another Saint Patrick's Day

[Doktor Howl]

It was like playing the old video game Bump N Jump, driving into San Antonio on Saturday night, weaving all over the road to avoid the drunks who were weaving all over the road.  Let me say again that St Patrick's Day is no excuse for being Irish in public.

Interesting thing about the Irish is that they INSIST on being more Irish than, say, a Belgian would insist that he/she was Belgian.  It's almost like they have a guilty conscience because they or their ancestors bailed on Ireland (all roads lead OUT of Ireland, historically).

Hell, even their Dail (pronouced "Doyle"), ie, their parliament, has to say everything in English AND Gaelic, even though everyone in Ireland speaks English and almost nobody speaks Gaelic.  It's some form of weird search for authenticity, sort of like if the Italians suddenly decided they all needed to learn Latin, because their ancestors spoke it at some point in the past.

But the worst thing is, on one day every year, EVERYONE pretends they're Irish, and you are made to feel guilty if you aren't Irish, and especially if you don't even lie about it.

Personally, I'm Cornish.  This has precisely zero bearing on my life.  The fact that my ancestors were all pirates and/or sheep thieves 500 years ago means nothing to me, whatsoever.  I would in fact find it odd if they suddenly had a Saint Boots day, where I had to wear rubber boots, a hankerchief on my head, and a sweater vest...and then drink myself stupid on whatever it is that Cornish people drink (I suspect that would be "methanol").

This makes me wonder why being Irish is so fucking important to people of Irish descent.

I would welcome the input of any bog-hoppers who happen to be present, if they can clear this up for me.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It just is. It's part of the mentality of an oppressed people with a bad luck streak throughout the past 1000 years from a dreary island in the North Atlantic.

Well, that, and it's because we're Irish dammit.

[Doktor Howl]

It just is. It's part of the mentality of an oppressed people with a bad luck streak throughout the past 1000 years from a dreary island in the North Atlantic.

Well, that, and it's because we're Irish dammit.

You could have just said that part.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It just is. It's part of the mentality of an oppressed people with a bad luck streak throughout the past 1000 years from a dreary island in the North Atlantic.

Well, that, and it's because we're Irish dammit.

You could have just said that part.

Perhaps. It's a good question though. Would I be like "fuck yeah, I'm English! Happy St. George's Day!" if I were an Englishman? Probably not. It's an odd quirk of the Irish character. Though, I am surprised that we've convinced the rest of the world that they should be Irish too, especially on St. Patrick's Day. But they just want an excuse to get drunk, which we Irish would do regardless of what day it is. But the Irish do it for a purpose on St. Patrick's Day. It's a holy day of obligation. No one actually wants to go to Mass, so they need some sort of reward to look forward to.

That said, I think we should institute your hypothetical St. Boots Day.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Texas Irish are a lot less into the culture than Boston Irish, though. It's basically an excuse to drink Bud Light with food coloring in it. 

[Juana]

There's also the Irish in the Great Lakes states. That's where my super WE'RE IRISH CATHOLIC DAMMIT family is from.

Want a serious answer? Because I have one.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Not that everybody drinks green Bud Light. It's just that once you've seen it, you can't UNsee it. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Texas Irish are a lot less into the culture than Boston Irish, though. It's basically an excuse to drink Bud Light with food coloring in it. 

We Bostonians who are less than 50 proof Irish do that, too. If I'm going to celebrate Irishness by drinking, the clear choice is stout and whiskey. I don't know what all this ridiculous overdoing the green stuff is. Bet it tastes like shit too.

[Doktor Howl]

There's also the Irish in the Great Lakes states. That's where my super WE'RE IRISH CATHOLIC DAMMIT family is from.

Want a serious answer? Because I have one.

Yes.

[Doktor Howl]

That said, I think we should institute your hypothetical St. Boots Day.

He drove the ocelots out of Cornwall.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Not that everybody drinks green Bud Light. It's just that once you've seen it, you can't UNsee it. 

It's hard to unsee the whole thing. Sunglasses with shamrock shaped rims (Who needs sunglasses in Ireland?), stupid green plastic bowler hats, "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirts, that sort of thing.

Why would you dye your river green? There are no green rivers in Ireland. Truth be told there's not as much green as you'd be left to believe. It's more like the forty shades of grey.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That said, I think we should institute your hypothetical St. Boots Day.

He drove the ocelots out of Cornwall.

This sounds better and better. What color should we overdo?

[Doktor Howl]

That said, I think we should institute your hypothetical St. Boots Day.

He drove the ocelots out of Cornwall.

This sounds better and better. What color should we overdo?

Brown.  For mud.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That said, I think we should institute your hypothetical St. Boots Day.

He drove the ocelots out of Cornwall.

This sounds better and better. What color should we overdo?

Brown.  For mud.

Good. Good beer is already brown. No dyeing necessary.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Texas Irish are a lot less into the culture than Boston Irish, though. It's basically an excuse to drink Bud Light with food coloring in it. 

We Bostonians who are less than 50 proof Irish do that, too. If I'm going to celebrate Irishness by drinking, the clear choice is stout and whiskey. I don't know what all this ridiculous overdoing the green stuff is. Bet it tastes like shit too.

Bud Light would gag a maggot no matter what you put in it.
Texas does a kind of token nod to Ireland on St.Paddy's...what they really beat into the ground is Germany