UNLIMITED "Vaginas are scary" discussion thread!

[Don Coyote]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

[Doktor Howl]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

Funny thing is, that's absolutely essential. 

[navkat]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

Funny thing is, that's absolutely essential. 

HURRY UP AND WAIT.

BUTTS TO NUTS, SHIPMATE. 

I HAVE TO GET TWO MORE PEOPLE IN MY COC WHO NEED TO SIGN MY REQUEST CHIT FOR A LIGHTBULB AND DOUBLE-TIME IT TO BMS OR I WILL BE PISSING UP A ROPE IN THE DARK ALL WEEKEND. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR YOU TO UNFUCK YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S DICK WHILE YOU PAPERFUCK MY BALLOON-KNOT.

Dude, my favorite was having to "sign out" a broom three times a day and sign a separate sheet acknowledging the rules and risks if I wanted to use a bottle of watered-down glass-cleaner. I'm pretty sure somewhere, some eager bureaucrat within the ranks got the idea at some point to require you to read an MSDS every time you make a doodie. Good thing it takes like 15 years to get a proposal like that approved.

Yeah, man...we were the elite.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

Funny thing is, that's absolutely essential. 

HURRY UP AND WAIT.

BUTTS TO NUTS, SHIPMATE. 

I HAVE TO GET TWO MORE PEOPLE IN MY COC WHO NEED TO SIGN MY REQUEST CHIT FOR A LIGHTBULB AND DOUBLE-TIME IT TO BMS OR I WILL BE PISSING UP A ROPE IN THE DARK ALL WEEKEND. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR YOU TO UNFUCK YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S DICK WHILE YOU PAPERFUCK MY BALLOON-KNOT.

Dude, my favorite was having to "sign out" a broom three times a day and sign a separate sheet acknowledging the rules and risks if I wanted to use a bottle of watered-down glass-cleaner. I'm pretty sure somewhere, some eager bureaucrat within the ranks got the idea at some point to require you to read an MSDS every time you make a doodie. Good thing it takes like 15 years to get a proposal like that approved.

Yeah, man...we were the elite.

That's to aggravate the fuck out of everybody so they can go out and KILL A MOTHERFUCKER.

[navkat]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

Funny thing is, that's absolutely essential. 

HURRY UP AND WAIT.

BUTTS TO NUTS, SHIPMATE. 

I HAVE TO GET TWO MORE PEOPLE IN MY COC WHO NEED TO SIGN MY REQUEST CHIT FOR A LIGHTBULB AND DOUBLE-TIME IT TO BMS OR I WILL BE PISSING UP A ROPE IN THE DARK ALL WEEKEND. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR YOU TO UNFUCK YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S DICK WHILE YOU PAPERFUCK MY BALLOON-KNOT.

Dude, my favorite was having to "sign out" a broom three times a day and sign a separate sheet acknowledging the rules and risks if I wanted to use a bottle of watered-down glass-cleaner. I'm pretty sure somewhere, some eager bureaucrat within the ranks got the idea at some point to require you to read an MSDS every time you make a doodie. Good thing it takes like 15 years to get a proposal like that approved.

Yeah, man...we were the elite.

That's to aggravate the fuck out of everybody so they can go out and KILL A MOTHERFUCKER FOR A CUP OF COFFEE THAT TASTES LIKE IT WAS MADE FROM GROUNDS THAT WERE ONLY USED TWICE.

Ongoing enigma: who's slowest: the chain-of-command which consists of a diverse group of knuckleheads, doing the best they can with outdated materials and a patchwork SOP Instruction manual that's several volumes long and got fucked up by the last knucklehead? Or the civilian DoD support staff in their ergonomic chairs with required ten-minute-breaks per-hour who make more than three times your salary and can't be bothered to get up, take your stuff out of the outbox and hand it to you and instead, make you leave and come back because they're getting ready to go to lunch in ten minutes?



EDIT: Fuck you, quote tags!

[Don Coyote]

So, the thought that there are thousands of peoplle who are trained to kill every day and who sort of answer to the government doesn't actually scare people?  Even a bit?  It has always terrified me.  It's one of the biggest reasons I never wanted to go in, right behind I don't want to kill people.

80% of the military is trained to patiently wait in lines, and to fill out meaningless forms for a living.

Just saying.

OHAITHERE You want some paper to print out the forms to request more paper? Bring me a form filled out correctly, and you are on the signature card aren't you? You aren't? Too bad. No paper for you.

Funny thing is, that's absolutely essential. 

And that is the horrible thing about it. There needs to be a paper trail for all kinds of bullshit. Ever had brass come down and harass you for supplies that you gave their people yesterday? I have.


And some days I dream of being a DoD civilian.

[Doktor Howl]

Coyote & Navkat:

There are two kinds of militaries.  There is the kind where paperwork is KING, and every purchase is scrutinized, and there is the kind where armored vehicles and arms rooms full of rifles REGULARLY go missing.

There is no in between.

[Don Coyote]

Coyote & Navkat:

There are two kinds of militaries.  There is the kind where paperwork is KING, and every purchase is scrutinized, and there is the kind where armored vehicles and arms rooms full of rifles REGULARLY go missing.

There is no in between.

I've been in both.
The first because of the second.

[Doktor Howl]

Coyote & Navkat:

There are two kinds of militaries.  There is the kind where paperwork is KING, and every purchase is scrutinized, and there is the kind where armored vehicles and arms rooms full of rifles REGULARLY go missing.

There is no in between.

I've been in both.
The first because of the second.

Naw.  Check out the Columbian army, some time.

I worked with them at the MFO in the Sinai.  I had limited contact with them, but their story was pretty pathetic.  Their rations sold off by supply, their rifles sold off by the arms room geek, etc.

[Don Coyote]

Coyote & Navkat:

There are two kinds of militaries.  There is the kind where paperwork is KING, and every purchase is scrutinized, and there is the kind where armored vehicles and arms rooms full of rifles REGULARLY go missing.

There is no in between.

I've been in both.
The first because of the second.

Naw.  Check out the Columbian army, some time.

I worked with them at the MFO in the Sinai.  I had limited contact with them, but their story was pretty pathetic.  Their rations sold off by supply, their rifles sold off by the arms room geek, etc.

Ok, not that bad. But I have known of armorers getting pinched for selling hardware, and supply sergeants getting pinched for selling MREs and other supplies. Ofcourse only on a small scale.

[Doktor Howl]

Coyote & Navkat:

There are two kinds of militaries.  There is the kind where paperwork is KING, and every purchase is scrutinized, and there is the kind where armored vehicles and arms rooms full of rifles REGULARLY go missing.

There is no in between.

I've been in both.
The first because of the second.

Naw.  Check out the Columbian army, some time.

I worked with them at the MFO in the Sinai.  I had limited contact with them, but their story was pretty pathetic.  Their rations sold off by supply, their rifles sold off by the arms room geek, etc.

Ok, not that bad. But I have known of armorers getting pinched for selling hardware, and supply sergeants getting pinched for selling MREs and other supplies. Ofcourse only on a small scale.

Sure.  And they get caught.

BECAUSE of the king hell paperwork trails.

[navkat]

The Navy was a mess of both, Dok. I swear. Paperwork was out of control: a tangle of contingency and redundancy, procedure and training manuals...and shitbirds making off with everything from drugs out of the pharmacy to the numbered, "lead seals" for the doors. Our paperwork was a system of "After the Fact" and "I don't know why it says there should be 6 cases. Maybe the log is wrong."

[Doktor Howl]

The Navy was a mess of both, Dok. I swear. Paperwork was out of control: a tangle of contingency and redundancy, procedure and training manuals...and shitbirds making off with everything from drugs out of the pharmacy to the numbered, "lead seals" for the doors. Our paperwork was a system of "After the Fact" and "I don't know why it says there should be 6 cases. Maybe the log is wrong."

Sounds like you guys had shitty command.

[navkat]

We needed more foots in more asses.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Relevant to this thread: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html