A Few Words on Butthurt

[Doktor Howl]

Let's just say it right up front:  Life is too fucking short to walk around with a metric ton of butthurt in your pants.  Okay, so you got in a fight with someone.  Maybe it was online, maybe it was IRL.  Now you're going to make sure that your "enemies" know just how butthurt you are.

Maybe you do that by absenting yourself, by "denying" your "enemies" your presence.  Or maybe you wait for your moment and get your shot in, and then congratulate yourself on giving some of your butthurt back.

Or maybe the people you're busy fucking with aren't even the cause of your butthurt.  Maybe you've got problems at home, and you're dumping your failed relationship on people using some contrived excuse.

Either way, if you do it long enough, you start conditioning peoples' responses to you.  Eventually, they stop trying to figure out what's wrong, and just walk away.  That works, I suppose, if your goal is to be alone and miserable with your butthurt to keep you warm.  If being alone isn't your goal, though, maybe you ought to deal with the situation.

That's not easy, though, because it means sacking up.  It means being strong enough to let old grudges die.  In short, it means being a rock n roller.  Either you can do this, or you can't.  If you CAN, then DO IT.  If you can't, then I wish you well in your brooding over how everyone fucked you over or betrayed you, and the world isn't treating you fairly, or whatever other twisted little knots occupy your heart.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Freeky]

Life IS too short.  And sometimes the lure of being a shit to other people because you have problems is too great to ignore.  But a person can't grow and evolve if they don't move past a potential nasty moment without comment more often than not.

[Doktor Howl]

Life IS too short.  And sometimes the lure of being a shit to other people because you have problems is too great to ignore.  But a person can't grow and evolve if they don't move past a potential nasty moment without comment more often than not.

More to the point, if you (well, not YOU) want to be bitter and alone for a chunck of what little time you have on this Earth, then more power to ya, I suppose.  Because if you're butthurt here, chances are you're just as loveable offline.

[Freeky]

Life IS too short.  And sometimes the lure of being a shit to other people because you have problems is too great to ignore.  But a person can't grow and evolve if they don't move past a potential nasty moment without comment more often than not.

More to the point, if you (well, not YOU) want to be bitter and alone for a chunck of what little time you have on this Earth, then more power to ya, I suppose.  Because if you're butthurt here, chances are you're just as loveable offline.

I agree.  But there is a sort of attraction to being nasty to people who either had nothing to do with anything, or by some circuitous manner are related to your suffering.  The only way to get over that is to realize that it only feels good in the very, very short run.  It's like drugs, you have to keep doing more and more to feel the same way, and people who are prone to addiction anyway often don't see a reason to sober up.

[AFK]

Well that's because they have no reason to sober up.  If the best they can hope for is some kind of manageable equilibrium under drugs, then sobriety doesn't have a shot in hell.  Not without help.  Though I suppose that is all besides the point of this thread. 

[navkat]

I think the best butthurt strategy in the world is mine:
Step 1. Recognize that you may be experiencing an unreasonable level of butthurt
Step 2. Retreat! Calm the fuck down.
Step 3. Come back laughing. It's funny. You're a retard. It's funny, dammit.

Bam. No more butthurt.

[Doktor Howl]

I think the best butthurt strategy in the world is mine:
Step 1. Recognize that you may be experiencing an unreasonable level of butthurt
Step 2. Retreat! Calm the fuck down.
Step 3. Come back laughing. It's funny. You're a retard. It's funny, dammit.

Bam. No more butthurt.

Doesn't work, if people make the mistake of taking things seriously.

Which seems to be the principle problem, IMO.

[Freeky]

I think the best butthurt strategy in the world is mine:
Step 1. Recognize that you may be experiencing an unreasonable level of butthurt
Step 2. Retreat! Calm the fuck down.
Step 3. Come back laughing. It's funny. You're a retard. It's funny, dammit.

Bam. No more butthurt.

Doesn't work, if people make the mistake of taking things seriously.

Which seems to be the principle problem, IMO.

Monkeys + SRS BUSINESS = Butthurt. 

Human existence summed up in an equation.

[navkat]

I think the best butthurt strategy in the world is mine:
Step 1. Recognize that you may be experiencing an unreasonable level of butthurt
Step 2. Retreat! Calm the fuck down.
Step 3. Come back laughing. It's funny. You're a retard. It's funny, dammit.

Bam. No more butthurt.

Doesn't work, if people make the mistake of taking things seriously.

Which seems to be the principle problem, IMO.

I must have misunderstood. MY butthurt or theirs? The above works for MY butthurt (and possibly serves to abate theirs by de-compressing the situation).

I can't do much if the butthurt is solely their own except make it clear that the thing that's up their ass wasn't meant to be administered in such a fashion.

I feel pretty confident that my tolerance and effort to get to the bottom of what people are trying to say is such that when I do need to get emphatic about something, it's usually justified. My Take it:Dish it out ratio is at a conservatively fair level as well. I call this "Acting like an adult."

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I've lost people over butthurt. The last one told me she was in a tight spot. I said I had just enough to cover bills, otherwise I'd help. She told me to borrow money from someone else I know. I said no way was I going to do that and she started in with "Well if they make you feel like you can't ask for anything when you're starving, they're no good, blah blah." I didn't like her taking shots, this person had never done a goddamn thing to her. I told her as much and said "Hey, I'm not starving, fuck off." which is an appropriate response under the circumstances and she never forgot it, hasn't talked to me since.

Now I look back on the whole thing and wonder if she wasn't hanging around the whole time because she mistakenly thought my other friend was rolling in money. I think half the butthurt out there is just an excuse. People have some kind of specific use for you, and when you don't cooperate, they find or provoke something to get butthurt over.

Real friends OVERLOOK their butthurt, they know it's bullshit. BUTTHURT =/= REAL PAIN. If you VALUE the other person you don't sit around feeling like a redheaded stepchild and feeding the butthurt until it turns into a six hundred pound sabertoothed ringtailed spotted-ass ape. You let it go.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

IOW, if somebody's "denying" my "enemy" self their presence over butthurt, I tend to look at them as never being real in the first place. Didn't lose anything but an illusion.

[EK WAFFLR]

This made my anus hurt. 

[Luna]

Truth.  Everyone gets upset, sure, but, general guide... if more than one person uninvolved with your butthurt rolls their eyes at your reaction, you may be overreacting.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I think the best butthurt strategy in the world is mine:
Step 1. Recognize that you may be experiencing an unreasonable level of butthurt
Step 2. Retreat! Calm the fuck down.
Step 3. Come back laughing. It's funny. You're a retard. It's funny, dammit.

Bam. No more butthurt.

Doesn't work, if people make the mistake of taking things seriously.

Which seems to be the principle problem, IMO.

Monkeys + SRS BUSINESS = Butthurt. 

Human existence summed up in an equation.

QFT. The solution - practice getting into and treating really serious situations as a joke then work backwards from there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

A ficking MEN