Step into my office for a moment, Roger. We should have a little chat.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Hey, Roger, I've been meaning to ask you...Have you considered using the Employee Assistance Program?"

"What for?  I don't have a drinking problem or a drug problem or anything like that."

"Well...It's the way you talk to people.  The way you write memos and emails, you know?  It's kind of disturbing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you called Mike a "fat, greasy, 12 sandwich-eating incompetent son of a bitch, for one example."

"Was I inaccurate?"

"That doesn't matter.  You can't say that sort of thing."

"I can.  I did."

"Well, you shouldn't."

"Why?  Is the truth our enemy?  Should we cloak ourselves in pleasing lies?  Should we stand politely to one side, while Mike fucks up everything he waddles up to?"

"See?  You're doing it again."

"Yeah, well, I am attracted to the truth.  If you prefer fantasy over reality, if you prefer a dream world over the harsh realities of America in the 21st century, then perhaps YOU need Employee Assistance."

"GODDAMMIT, ROGER..."

"And maybe they can help you with that anger.  It can't be good for you."

"THIS IS ABOUT YOU, NOT ME."

"NOTHING WRONG WITH ME."

"WHAT?"

"SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Not a Drowning Pool fan, eh?"

"LOOK, JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

"Okay.  I'm glad we had this little talk.  It's always good to get things out in the open, so nobody gets resentful or angry or anything."

"GET OOOOOOOOUT!"

*slam*

[Nephew Twiddleton]

[Freeky]

Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost.

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

[Freeky]

Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost.

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost.

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

Well, yes.  I try to help him with that whenever I can.  I feel that it is my duty as a loyal employee.

[Freeky]

Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost.

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

Well, yes.  I try to help him with that whenever I can.  I feel that it is my duty as a loyal employee.

Well, if you won't, nobody would.

[Richter]

Healthy realism is good for the workplace.  You are doing these people a service.  Quoting Drowning Pool on them doubly so.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

[Freeky]

I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

I think he needs a HUG!   

[Freeky]

I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

I think he needs a HUG!   

I bet he would LOVE a hug!  But society tells him he shouldn't want, so if he struggles against your hugs of truth and purity, you should hold him tighter and tell him it's going to be okay.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

[EK WAFFLR]

 

Best thing I've read all day!