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I liked how they introduced her, like "her mother died in an insane asylum thinking she was Queen Victoria" and my thought was, I like where I think this is going. I was not disappointed.

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Step into my office for a moment, Roger. We should have a little chat.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 15, 2012, 06:42:34 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

June 15, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
"Hey, Roger, I've been meaning to ask you...Have you considered using the Employee Assistance Program?"

"What for?  I don't have a drinking problem or a drug problem or anything like that."

"Well...It's the way you talk to people.  The way you write memos and emails, you know?  It's kind of disturbing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you called Mike a "fat, greasy, 12 sandwich-eating incompetent son of a bitch, for one example."

"Was I inaccurate?"

"That doesn't matter.  You can't say that sort of thing."

"I can.  I did."

"Well, you shouldn't."

"Why?  Is the truth our enemy?  Should we cloak ourselves in pleasing lies?  Should we stand politely to one side, while Mike fucks up everything he waddles up to?"

"See?  You're doing it again."

"Yeah, well, I am attracted to the truth.  If you prefer fantasy over reality, if you prefer a dream world over the harsh realities of America in the 21st century, then perhaps YOU need Employee Assistance."

"GODDAMMIT, ROGER..."

"And maybe they can help you with that anger.  It can't be good for you."

"THIS IS ABOUT YOU, NOT ME."

"NOTHING WRONG WITH ME."

"WHAT?"

"SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Not a Drowning Pool fan, eh?"

"LOOK, JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

"Okay.  I'm glad we had this little talk.  It's always good to get things out in the open, so nobody gets resentful or angry or anything."

"GET OOOOOOOOUT!"

*slam*



" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1
June 15, 2012, 06:54:13 PM
:spittake:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Freeky

#2
June 15, 2012, 06:59:08 PM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost. :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
June 15, 2012, 06:59:39 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:59:08 PM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost. :lulz:

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#4
June 15, 2012, 07:01:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:59:39 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:59:08 PM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost. :lulz:

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
June 15, 2012, 07:06:27 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 07:01:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:59:39 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:59:08 PM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost. :lulz:

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

Well, yes.  I try to help him with that whenever I can.  I feel that it is my duty as a loyal employee.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#6
June 15, 2012, 07:12:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 07:06:27 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 07:01:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:59:39 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:59:08 PM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for Jim.  Almost. :lulz:

Jim's a good guy.  He just has some issues.

He really does has a good heart and good intentions, he just needs a bit of a push sometimes to get set on the right path, am I right?

Well, yes.  I try to help him with that whenever I can.  I feel that it is my duty as a loyal employee.

Well, if you won't, nobody would.

Richter

#7
June 15, 2012, 07:13:31 PM
Healthy realism is good for the workplace.  You are doing these people a service.  Quoting Drowning Pool on them doubly so.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
June 15, 2012, 07:13:51 PM
 :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
June 15, 2012, 07:15:40 PM
I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#10
June 15, 2012, 07:19:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 07:15:40 PM
I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
June 15, 2012, 07:20:29 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 07:19:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 07:15:40 PM
I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

I think he needs a HUG!   :)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#12
June 15, 2012, 07:23:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 07:20:29 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 07:19:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 07:15:40 PM
I don't let myself feel bad when he yells at me.  He's hurting inside.

You are a saint, sir.

I think he needs a HUG!   :)

I bet he would LOVE a hug!  But society tells him he shouldn't want, so if he struggles against your hugs of truth and purity, you should hold him tighter and tell him it's going to be okay.

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#13
June 15, 2012, 09:26:58 PM
:lulz:
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

EK WAFFLR

#14
June 15, 2012, 10:44:57 PM
 :lulz:

Best thing I've read all day!
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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