A thought on sluts

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

This is post is why I love Suu.

Because I'm a nerd? 

What's odd is, I think us women decide in the first five minutes if a guy is going to get sex or not (if he doesn't say or do something stupid and blow it) and everything else is just an elaborate social ritual. IOW, we might want it on the first date but we don't do it out of fear of losing the guy.

I knew I was eventually going to sleep with Navyguy while on the first date, but it didn't happen til the 3rd. You just /know/. It's hard to explain to guys I think, but women get it. Maybe it's hormones, or something that you're instantly attracted to, but there's something that clicks in your mind and goes, "Yes to sex with him." It's purely biological if not animalistic I'm sure, but I assure you, that our brain seals the deal before the first kiss is even at hand.

I think some guys are onto it and can play a woman like a fiddle by turning the tables and making US wait a little while. Also hard to explain, but not knowing where you stand at first is AWESOME.

[Suu]

It's a game. It's TOTALLY a game. Winners get laid, losers go onto the next round.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It's a game. It's TOTALLY a game. Winners get laid, losers go onto the next round.

Truth.

[Placid Dingo]

It's a game. It's TOTALLY a game. Winners get laid, losers go onto the next round.

That drives me mad because I never know the rules.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

One of my bestest guy friends has told me that he will not take a woman seriously if she puts out on the first date. He will still sleep with her, but he won't call her back. If you want to fuck and have a one-night stand, or be fuck buddies, that's cool, but, if you wish to enter a dating relationship, having sex on the first date is a no-no. Though, as a man, when offered vagina, he won't turn it down, but it will change the relationship's dynamic in his head. He may not view her as a "slut" per se, but he won't respect her as potential girlfriend material.

In what way is this not an elemental part of slut-shaming? He may not call her a slut, but he's clearly viewing her as a slut, and therefore as not worthy of love.

Slut shaming is more of what women do to women. I'm guilty of slutting occasionally (ie. fucking on the first date,) but I wouldn't call myself *A* slut. Those are cases of me being stupid and horny, and not using my best judgement, and, because of my own stupid moves, I don't feel like I can really shame anyone for doing the same thing. My sister doesn't have a solid relationship with anyone right now, she just plays regularly with some of the Philadelphia Phillies, and I don't mean baseball. Again though, it's her decision, even if I downright don't approve of it.

Dear Coke Talk has covered this subject before. She's damn good at discussing/slamming the idea of "sluts".

It's interesting that you use that language/view your decisions the way you do.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

I'm gonna have to look this lady up!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There is a woman in my circle of friends who has recently accused several of my friends of "slut-shaming" her. The interesting thing is that the reason for this accusation is because she thinks it's funny to make a game of sleeping with other people's partners, and then watch the drama fly, and several people told her that this is not an ethical thing to do, particularly to your friends. Using sex as a weapon or a game that messes with people's heads is not OK. She is very beautiful and not used to being turned down, but there have been a couple of recent incidents where she has gone way over the top, in public, in pursuit of a friend's sex partner... both of which resulted in humiliation for her. One guy actually pushed her off his lap. Needless to say, she is furious about this, and blames... us.

I would have to argue that we are in no way "slut shaming" her by telling her this behavior is unacceptable.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

There is a woman in my circle of friends who has recently accused several of my friends of "slut-shaming" her. The interesting thing is that the reason for this accusation is because she thinks it's funny to make a game of sleeping with other people's partners, and then watch the drama fly, and several people told her that this is not an ethical thing to do, particularly to your friends. Using sex as a weapon or a game that messes with people's heads is not OK. She is very beautiful and not used to being turned down, but there have been a couple of recent incidents where she has gone way over the top, in public, in pursuit of a friend's sex partner... both of which resulted in humiliation for her. One guy actually pushed her off his lap. Needless to say, she is furious about this, and blames... us.

I would have to argue that we are in no way "slut shaming" her by telling her this behavior is unacceptable.

No, you're not. I'm surprised she even has any female friends left.
That's not even about sex, really, it's about spite and malice.

[Suu]

It's interesting that you use that language/view your decisions the way you do.

It's amazing what the power of words can do to someone. Even though I was obviously comfortable enough in the position to have sex at the time, I've always had this horrific nag in the back of my head that it was wrong. My friend's opinion has nothing to do with this, because he didn't tell me that until I told him my feelings on my actions. I now wonder if he was just saying that to make me feel better about my own regrets.

I've also found that as I've gotten older, though, my views on sex have changed significantly. I mean, I went from being a teenager with a 3 month rule (which I'm sure pissed Herbert off to no end, oh well.) To such a casual view of sex in a decade. I'm sure both maturity and experience have a lot to do with this, though.

Veronica Franco from 16th Century Venice wrote amazing dialogs regarding this. Of course, she was also a courtesan, but one so educated that men would go to HER for advice on everything from warfare to philosophy. The other women loathed her for it. Not just because she fucked their husbands, but because she knew how to read more than just the Psalms, and she rails into them as well for sitting back and whining about her instead of trying to break out of their own cages.

They made a movie about her called Dangerous Beauty, based on the biographical novel called The Honest Courtesan by Margaret Rosenthal, who is well known in the Italian Renaissance sphere of studies, I have a couple of her works because she's a translator of middle Italian, including Franco's collection of letters and poetry. I highly recommend it if you have a thing for smutty poems and letters to the King of France regarding an alliance with Venice against the Ottomans...ALL IN THE SAME VOLUME. She had a hardcore slut shamer who wrote nasty things about her...She retorts and makes him look like a total fucking douchebag, even by Renaissance standards.

I'm gonna have to look this lady up!

You should. And the movie is worth watching. It's pretty dramatized, but still gives a great view of what life was like for her.

There is a woman in my circle of friends who has recently accused several of my friends of "slut-shaming" her. The interesting thing is that the reason for this accusation is because she thinks it's funny to make a game of sleeping with other people's partners, and then watch the drama fly, and several people told her that this is not an ethical thing to do, particularly to your friends. Using sex as a weapon or a game that messes with people's heads is not OK. She is very beautiful and not used to being turned down, but there have been a couple of recent incidents where she has gone way over the top, in public, in pursuit of a friend's sex partner... both of which resulted in humiliation for her. One guy actually pushed her off his lap. Needless to say, she is furious about this, and blames... us.

I would have to argue that we are in no way "slut shaming" her by telling her this behavior is unacceptable.

That's not slut-shaming, that's telling a bitch to back the fuck off.

What she is doing IS morally wrong, and unfortunately it sounds like she has severe problems with self-confidence.

[Freeky]

It's a game. It's TOTALLY a game. Winners get laid, losers go onto the next round.

Truth.

I emphatically encourage everyone who likes this game to find the nearest cleaver and fornicates with it.  I fucking despise this game, because as much of a gamer as I am I resent that you can lose at having sex with an interested party, and I don't understand the rules, and some people cheat at it.

Fuck this shit.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It's a game. It's TOTALLY a game. Winners get laid, losers go onto the next round.

Truth.

I emphatically encourage everyone who likes this game to find the nearest cleaver and fornicates with it.  I fucking despise this game, because as much of a gamer as I am I resent that you can lose at having sex with an interested party, and I don't understand the rules, and some people cheat at it.

Fuck this shit.

Aw, Freeky, if you both stay interested, you still do it.
No game would = no seduction. Just:

"Hi."
"Hi."
"You wanna fuck?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"OK let's go."

[EK WAFFLR]

Aw, Freeky, if you both stay interested, you still do it.
No game would = no seduction. Just:

"Hi."
"Hi."
"You wanna fuck?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"OK let's go."

sounds good to me.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Aw, Freeky, if you both stay interested, you still do it.
No game would = no seduction. Just:

"Hi."
"Hi."
"You wanna fuck?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"OK let's go."

sounds good to me.

I'm getting a feeling a lot of people consider suspense and romance and all that disposable.

[EK WAFFLR]

 

Oh, not at all, but to hell with games. If sex is the main goal, I don't see why one can't just cut the bullshit.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Oh, not at all, but to hell with games. If sex is the main goal, I don't see why one can't just cut the bullshit.

Games that other people tell you you're supposed to play (PUA shit, that book for women that said "don't call guys, don't be on time, etc.", christian shit, blah blah) yeah. Fuck that.