On Negativity

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

2.  When the rock DOES hit me, or even take out the schmoe next to me, then I think I'd better holler.  And if this offends your sense that the world is made exclusively out of cotton candy and unicorn poop, then don't fucking read it.  How hard is that?  It's my opinion, not yours, so...

3.  Shut up.

That is all.  You may now return to blathering about how the world is absolutely perfect (because you are enjoying life in America or Canada or Europe) and how nothing should be changed.  After all, it would really SUCK if some of those things got addressed, and you had to pay more for your electronic toys.

But do it in somone else's threads/email boxes.  The cloying Pollyanna/Doctor Pangloss shit gets on my Goddamn nerves, and makes me hate you even more than I hate you on my default setting.  When you feel that you absolutely HAVE to correct my BAD ATTITUDE, just write the post in Word and save it to your hard drive instead.  That will have the exact same effect on me as actually sending me a PM (ie, no effect at all), and we can avoid these little outbursts.

Okay?

Fuck off.

Love & Kisses,
TDRR

[Luna]

Some days, I think I'd like to at least vacation in the world of cotton candy and unicorn poop.  I sometimes think it'd be nice to think that a happy, optimistic attitide will just, by the pure force of joy, make the world all better.

Then, I remember, I'm not an idiot.

Is the world going to improve?  Maybe.  Odds are better that, in my lifetime, it'll just circle the bowl a couple more times before the Big Flush, but, maybe.  If it DOES improve, though, it'll be because some bright biped will be sick of the bullshit, and see a way to fix SOMETHING.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE ALL THE BAD SHIT IN THE WORLD, ROGER? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY YOUR GOOD FORTUNE; MAYBE EVEN RUB IT IN A LITTLE, AND COMPLETELY TURN A BLIND EYE TO THE SLAVERY, OPPRESSION, POVERTY, AND CRUELTY THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SO MUCH OF YOUR COMFORT? THAT'S WHAT A GOOD AMERICAN WOULD DO, ROGER. THAT'S WHAT I DO.

STOP REMINDING ME OF BAD THINGS. STOP REMINDING ME THAT THE PLUSH COUCH THAT MY FAT ASS IS RECLINING ON WAS MADE BY TINY CHILDREN WITH LICE AND BLEEDING FINGERS AND THAT TEENAGE GIRLS WHO LIVE PACKED INTO FACTORY DORMITORIES AND FACE HORRIFIC AND UNSAFE WORKING CONDITIONS FOR 16 HOURS A DAY BUILT MY LAPTOP.

LALALALALALALALALALA

[The Good Reverend Roger]

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE ALL THE BAD SHIT IN THE WORLD, ROGER? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY YOUR GOOD FORTUNE; MAYBE EVEN RUB IT IN A LITTLE, AND COMPLETELY TURN A BLIND EYE TO THE SLAVERY, OPPRESSION, POVERTY, AND CRUELTY THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SO MUCH OF YOUR COMFORT? THAT'S WHAT A GOOD AMERICAN WOULD DO, ROGER. THAT'S WHAT I DO.

STOP REMINDING ME OF BAD THINGS. STOP REMINDING ME THAT THE PLUSH COUCH THAT MY FAT ASS IS RECLINING ON WAS MADE BY TINY CHILDREN WITH LICE AND BLEEDING FINGERS AND THAT TEENAGE GIRLS WHO LIVE PACKED INTO FACTORY DORMITORIES AND FACE HORRIFIC AND UNSAFE WORKING CONDITIONS FOR 16 HOURS A DAY BUILT MY LAPTOP.

LALALALALALALALALALA

That's almost as bad as people who take the GOOD stuff and find a way to make it BAD.  I have noticed - anecdotally, and by no means universally - that the right tends to do the above more often, and the left tends to find something wrong with EVERYTHING.  There is, however, a lot of crossover, usually depending on who is in office.

The problem is, both points of view are DUMB.

I usually only talk about bad shit.  I do not imply that only bad shit exists.  I am told that I DO say that only bad shit exists, because it's what I usually talk about, and explaining it is hopeless, even with a Venn diagram.

People should, however, continue to PM me their "thoughts", so that I may continue to abuse them and thus be entertained.

[Payne]

This is my messianic trufact for the day:

The reason why Roger is so negative is because, even after years of demanding we do so, no one has yet killed him.

Of course, the reason why we haven't killed him is because the world is obviously unutterably perfect, and to kill him would therefore make it less perfect. No, complaining about his persistent pessimism has nothing to do with your discomfort with him exposing how you really feel deep down to the wider world and making you feel, for some reason, vulnerable.

Let's all go back to watching American Idol, he'll stop shouting at us in a little while. Honest.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is my messianic trufact for the day:

The reason why Roger is so negative is because, even after years of demanding we do so, no one has yet killed him.

Of course, the reason why we haven't killed him is because the world is obviously unutterably perfect, and to kill him would therefore make it less perfect. No, complaining about his persistent pessimism has nothing to do with your discomfort with him exposing how you really feel deep down to the wider world and making you feel, for some reason, vulnerable.

Let's all go back to watching American Idol, he'll stop shouting at us in a little while. Honest.

Just imagine me on the other side of your living room window, screaming at you from the darkness while you watch that shit.

Then imagine just exactly how thin a window really is.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

That's for facebook. "LOOK AT MY AWESOME LIFE I HAD AN AWESOME LUNCH HERE'S PICS AFTER THAT I WENT TO AN AWESOME STORE AND BOUGHT AWESOME STUFF HERE'S PICS THEN WE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS OH AND LOOK AT MY KIDS AND ANIMALS HERE'S PICS AREN'T THEY CUTE ANYWAY LATER I WENT TO AN AWESOME CLUB HERE'S PICS AND HAD AWESOME DRINKS HERE'S PICS AND THERE WAS AN AWESOME BAND HERE'S PICS THEN I WENT HOME IN MY AWESOME CAR HERE'S PICS TO MY AWESOME HOUSE THAT I JUST REDID HERE'S PICS AND TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT HERE'S PICS"

[Payne]

This is my messianic trufact for the day:

The reason why Roger is so negative is because, even after years of demanding we do so, no one has yet killed him.

Of course, the reason why we haven't killed him is because the world is obviously unutterably perfect, and to kill him would therefore make it less perfect. No, complaining about his persistent pessimism has nothing to do with your discomfort with him exposing how you really feel deep down to the wider world and making you feel, for some reason, vulnerable.

Let's all go back to watching American Idol, he'll stop shouting at us in a little while. Honest.

Just imagine me on the other side of your living room window, screaming at you from the darkness while you watch that shit.

Then imagine just exactly how thin a window really is.

We haven't yet begun our campaign to replace Ryan Seacrest with you. Those windows are pretty thin, but the glass of a television set if nice and think and fluffy and warm.

The Rogersplosion will be televised.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

This is my messianic trufact for the day:

The reason why Roger is so negative is because, even after years of demanding we do so, no one has yet killed him.

Of course, the reason why we haven't killed him is because the world is obviously unutterably perfect, and to kill him would therefore make it less perfect. No, complaining about his persistent pessimism has nothing to do with your discomfort with him exposing how you really feel deep down to the wider world and making you feel, for some reason, vulnerable.

Let's all go back to watching American Idol, he'll stop shouting at us in a little while. Honest.

Just imagine me on the other side of your living room window, screaming at you from the darkness while you watch that shit.

Then imagine just exactly how thin a window really is.

We haven't yet begun our campaign to replace Ryan Seacrest with you. Those windows are pretty thin, but the glass of a television set if nice and think and fluffy and warm.

The Rogersplosion will be televised.

I want to contribute to this campaign in any way I can. 

[Payne]

but the glass of a television set if nice and think and fluffy and warm.

NICE TYPO, MORAN!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is my messianic trufact for the day:

The reason why Roger is so negative is because, even after years of demanding we do so, no one has yet killed him.

Of course, the reason why we haven't killed him is because the world is obviously unutterably perfect, and to kill him would therefore make it less perfect. No, complaining about his persistent pessimism has nothing to do with your discomfort with him exposing how you really feel deep down to the wider world and making you feel, for some reason, vulnerable.

Let's all go back to watching American Idol, he'll stop shouting at us in a little while. Honest.

Just imagine me on the other side of your living room window, screaming at you from the darkness while you watch that shit.

Then imagine just exactly how thin a window really is.

That would make my night.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

That's for facebook. "LOOK AT MY AWESOME LIFE I HAD AN AWESOME LUNCH HERE'S PICS AFTER THAT I WENT TO AN AWESOME STORE AND BOUGHT AWESOME STUFF HERE'S PICS THEN WE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS OH AND LOOK AT MY KIDS AND ANIMALS HERE'S PICS AREN'T THEY CUTE ANYWAY LATER I WENT TO AN AWESOME CLUB HERE'S PICS AND HAD AWESOME DRINKS HERE'S PICS AND THERE WAS AN AWESOME BAND HERE'S PICS THEN I WENT HOME IN MY AWESOME CAR HERE'S PICS TO MY AWESOME HOUSE THAT I JUST REDID HERE'S PICS AND TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT HERE'S PICS"

99% of Facebook is attention-whoring a made-up perfect life for the purposes of garnering approval from an extended circle of co-workers and acquaintances you don't really know.

The other 1% is trolling.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

That's for facebook. "LOOK AT MY AWESOME LIFE I HAD AN AWESOME LUNCH HERE'S PICS AFTER THAT I WENT TO AN AWESOME STORE AND BOUGHT AWESOME STUFF HERE'S PICS THEN WE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS OH AND LOOK AT MY KIDS AND ANIMALS HERE'S PICS AREN'T THEY CUTE ANYWAY LATER I WENT TO AN AWESOME CLUB HERE'S PICS AND HAD AWESOME DRINKS HERE'S PICS AND THERE WAS AN AWESOME BAND HERE'S PICS THEN I WENT HOME IN MY AWESOME CAR HERE'S PICS TO MY AWESOME HOUSE THAT I JUST REDID HERE'S PICS AND TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT HERE'S PICS"

99% of Facebook is attention-whoring a made-up perfect life for the purposes of garnering approval from an extended circle of co-workers and acquaintances you don't really know.

The other 1% is trolling.

... and FarmVille. My brain still goes into shock when I get a Farmville invite from Hamish Howl.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

That's for facebook. "LOOK AT MY AWESOME LIFE I HAD AN AWESOME LUNCH HERE'S PICS AFTER THAT I WENT TO AN AWESOME STORE AND BOUGHT AWESOME STUFF HERE'S PICS THEN WE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS OH AND LOOK AT MY KIDS AND ANIMALS HERE'S PICS AREN'T THEY CUTE ANYWAY LATER I WENT TO AN AWESOME CLUB HERE'S PICS AND HAD AWESOME DRINKS HERE'S PICS AND THERE WAS AN AWESOME BAND HERE'S PICS THEN I WENT HOME IN MY AWESOME CAR HERE'S PICS TO MY AWESOME HOUSE THAT I JUST REDID HERE'S PICS AND TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT HERE'S PICS"

99% of Facebook is attention-whoring a made-up perfect life for the purposes of garnering approval from an extended circle of co-workers and acquaintances you don't really know.

The other 1% is trolling.

... and FarmVille. My brain still goes into shock when I get a Farmville invite from Hamish Howl.

That's probably the intended result. 

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I get PMs once or twice a day, asking me why I'm so "negative" about things.  Well, there's three things to consider, here:

1.  Momma said, "When the rock hits you, holler!"  Most of what goes on in my life is not really in that catagory.  Falling in love, watching your children grow up, Saturday Night™...All of these things are great, but don't cause the same kind of hollering.  Why would I bitch about such things?  Why would I even write about such things?  It would be like bragging about my good fortune, which as anyone in ANY religion based on Greek goddesses will tell you leads to No Good.

That's for facebook. "LOOK AT MY AWESOME LIFE I HAD AN AWESOME LUNCH HERE'S PICS AFTER THAT I WENT TO AN AWESOME STORE AND BOUGHT AWESOME STUFF HERE'S PICS THEN WE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS OH AND LOOK AT MY KIDS AND ANIMALS HERE'S PICS AREN'T THEY CUTE ANYWAY LATER I WENT TO AN AWESOME CLUB HERE'S PICS AND HAD AWESOME DRINKS HERE'S PICS AND THERE WAS AN AWESOME BAND HERE'S PICS THEN I WENT HOME IN MY AWESOME CAR HERE'S PICS TO MY AWESOME HOUSE THAT I JUST REDID HERE'S PICS AND TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT HERE'S PICS"

99% of Facebook is attention-whoring a made-up perfect life for the purposes of garnering approval from an extended circle of co-workers and acquaintances you don't really know.

The other 1% is trolling.

... and FarmVille. My brain still goes into shock when I get a Farmville invite from Hamish Howl.

That's probably the intended result. 

I work off of that assumption