What the hell, GOD!

[P3nT4gR4m]

To be fair, I've played Sim City, I've played Populous, I've played Mega Lo Mania, I've played Dungeon Keeper I've played the Sims. If I was in God's position I'd be just as bad.

God and the Devil - two wankers arguing over who's turn it is to get the controller

[LMNO]

Have we forgotten Ezekiel 23:20?

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

Now that's my kind of party!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Have we forgotten Ezekiel 23:20?

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

Now that's my kind of party!

Ezekiel's a pretty fun book!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Lesson learned; no wonder all those Abramaic religions do such massively fucked-up shit. Their religions are all based on a God who is a giant, arbitrary asshole.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Lesson learned; no wonder all those Abramaic religions do such massively fucked-up shit. Their religions are all based on a God who is a giant, arbitrary asshole.

The deity in question even admits to being psychologically imbalanced.

He is one God but talks to himself, and refers to himself in the plural. He then goes on to say that it's wrong to worship other gods because it makes him jealous.

If I were the only god in existence, I wouldn't care if people worshiped non-entities. I might even dress up as them for Halloween and abuse the omnipotential for lulz.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Lesson learned; no wonder all those Abramaic religions do such massively fucked-up shit. Their religions are all based on a God who is a giant, arbitrary asshole.

They were a race of slaves with a prehistoric intellect and no concept of science. Go figure

[Elder Iptuous]

Whenever i get into it with my mother about religion she indicates that i'm "not a seeker" and that i've given up looking for the truth because i have rejected the faith i was given.  This, of course, means only that i haven't studied the christian bible enough, and supporting literature.  When i freely admit that it is true that i haven't studied the bible much since leaving the faith, it gives her the reassurance that she need not listen to the second half of my response where i say that i feel no need to do so, since rejecting the fundamentals of the belief structure precludes the need to further wade through the finer points.

but perhaps it would be fun to go through the bible and study it a little more, anyways, since it is so dominant in our society and history.
Then when she gives me a dubious look that at the claim to having studied it in depth, i can hand her the copy of the bible they bought me as a child annotated in the margins with a bunch of "WTF?!" and some "Check this shit out!".

[Bruno]

1 Chronicles 13

13:9 And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled.      
13:10 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark: and there he died before God..

INDEED!

That's what you get for mishandling a a charged ancient supercapacitor without the required Holy PPE.

[Bruno]

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+2%3A23-24&version=NIV;KJV

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!"

24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

My single favourite "Bible WTF" moment of all time: God sends two bears to kill 42 children, for jeering at Elisha and calling him "baldy".

GOD SUPPORTS 40^th TRIMESTER ABORTIONS!

[Freeky]

3 Psalms

3 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me.

2 Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.

3 But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

4 I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.

6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about.

7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.

8 Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah.

God: Keeps his pimp hand strong.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

speaking of pimps in the bible abraham sent his wife to a couple of strange bedrooms. Figured if he told kings that lusted after his elderly barren wife that she was his sister they wouldnt kill him. Ancient kings liked granny porn apparently

[Bruno]

Certain folks in my town love to point out that Mohammed married a 9 year old when he was, like 50.  Aren't there some biblical figures that married teenage girls when they were in their hundreds?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Cant think of any off the top of my head but mary was probably twelve

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Whenever i get into it with my mother about religion she indicates that i'm "not a seeker" and that i've given up looking for the truth because i have rejected the faith i was given.  This, of course, means only that i haven't studied the christian bible enough, and supporting literature.  When i freely admit that it is true that i haven't studied the bible much since leaving the faith, it gives her the reassurance that she need not listen to the second half of my response where i say that i feel no need to do so, since rejecting the fundamentals of the belief structure precludes the need to further wade through the finer points.

but perhaps it would be fun to go through the bible and study it a little more, anyways, since it is so dominant in our society and history.
Then when she gives me a dubious look that at the claim to having studied it in depth, i can hand her the copy of the bible they bought me as a child annotated in the margins with a bunch of "WTF?!" and some "Check this shit out!".

She'll just explain to you that it's allegory. That's what they do with all the inconvenient parts.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Newsflash: God is a complete dick. Whole bible. Start to finish. And that's just based on what he does, directly, according to the drug/mania induced rants of primitive intellects holy and most sacred scriptures. Apply logic  to the concept of omnipotence/omniscience and pretty much all the bad shit, past and future, that the bible doesn't say god did? Yup he's totally to blame for all that shit too.

The holocaust? - totally 100% Gods fault.

Hiroshima/Nagasaki? - god!

Aids? - god

My overdraft - Yup, wanker is behind that too.

So, yeah, fuck god. He gave me bipolar, he's a cunt. And I'm glad his kid died. There, I've said it.