Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

[Cain]

That sounds like my email account.

I get, on average, about 90 "conversations" in Outlook on a week day, so probably closer to 150 emails, back and forth.  Over half have nothing to do with me.  I always love getting emails about how "there is cake for all the staff in the common room" for example.  Yeah, because that's only a two mile walk for me.  I really needed that information.  And please tell me more about the company Tumblr!  I'd troll the damn thing, if anyone actually ever read it.

Trolling tumblr is the best. There are so many vegans to fuck with.

Unfortunately, this particular tumblr is for things which are too long to fit on the company twitter.  It's very...meh.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

On the plus side, I've figured out how to get the saggers out.

I'm going to have to dismantle the whole fucking thing.

I am not at all upset about this.  No.  I currently exist in the eye of the storm, a small oasis of calm and serenity.  It's nice and quiet here, and everything is going to be okay.

Good goddamn. 

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO WORK HERE, BUT IT HELPS."

"SOMEONE HAS A CASE OF THE MONDAYS."

The above statements and/or witticisms would be all that it would take.  Seriously.

You need to shout them. Pre-emptively.

No, that might break my calm, serene facade.  And under that facade, haha, who knows what's down there?  Ha!  Hahaha!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Is this the result of Filthy Assistant's you-aren't-the-boss-of-ME-ism?

Sorry, missed this earlier.

A direct result.

All that was required was to NOT FUCK WITH IT.

Can you at least write him up for it?

No.  He is not a direct report of mine anymore, and Jim isn't talking to anyone right now.  He's locked in his office and he swears at you if you knock on the door.

Go ask him if he has a case of the Mondays.

I dare you.

Won't work, I don't think he can actually process language at the moment.

[Juana]

That sounds like my email account.

I get, on average, about 90 "conversations" in Outlook on a week day, so probably closer to 150 emails, back and forth.  Over half have nothing to do with me.  I always love getting emails about how "there is cake for all the staff in the common room" for example.  Yeah, because that's only a two mile walk for me.  I really needed that information.  And please tell me more about the company Tumblr!  I'd troll the damn thing, if anyone actually ever read it.

Trolling tumblr is the best. There are so many vegans to fuck with.

Unfortunately, this particular tumblr is for things which are too long to fit on the company twitter.  It's very...meh.

Yeah, sounds it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Besides, after what he did during our meeting with 2 sales reps from the company that made the kiln (trying to sell us another train wreck for our #4 slot), I am not fucking with that man today.

I don't think those sales guys will be back.

(ETA:  That was spectacularly bad timing on their part.)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I think Japanese/American relations got set back 68 years today.

[Junkenstein]

Picked up some sort of cold/flu thing. Still gone to work. Woe betide any fool who calls in sick today. I'm 400 miles from home and sick and STILL HERE.

What do you do for a living again?  I always kinda assumed you worked in oil, up on a rig in the North Sea or something.

I'm in Demolition and unfortunately tend to be based away from home a lot. At the moment "a lot" is pretty much all the fucking time.

Well, at least in demolition you get to blow stuff up at the end.

I mean, it must be somewhat cathartic.

I had a friend that did tear-out demolition.  I never ever saw him looking miserable.

I'm more on the contracts/cash side. Far too many meetings, far too little time with my crowbar.

And you have no idea the amount of forms now needed for even a little bang. Ask me about the ex-Sapper crew I worked with one time. They used explosives for everything. I mean fucking everything. Opening cans, Doors, windows.... If explosive kinetic force accomplished the task-Done. They had it down to an art.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Picked up some sort of cold/flu thing. Still gone to work. Woe betide any fool who calls in sick today. I'm 400 miles from home and sick and STILL HERE.

What do you do for a living again?  I always kinda assumed you worked in oil, up on a rig in the North Sea or something.

I'm in Demolition and unfortunately tend to be based away from home a lot. At the moment "a lot" is pretty much all the fucking time.

Well, at least in demolition you get to blow stuff up at the end.

I mean, it must be somewhat cathartic.

I had a friend that did tear-out demolition.  I never ever saw him looking miserable.

I'm more on the contracts/cash side. Far too many meetings, far too little time with my crowbar.

And you have no idea the amount of forms now needed for even a little bang. Ask me about the ex-Sapper crew I worked with one time. They used explosives for everything. I mean fucking everything. Opening cans, Doors, windows.... If explosive kinetic force accomplished the task-Done. They had it down to an art.

I have a mechanic that doesn't know what a wrench is.  Cut the fucker off, weld it back on.

[Cain]

That sounds like my email account.

I get, on average, about 90 "conversations" in Outlook on a week day, so probably closer to 150 emails, back and forth.  Over half have nothing to do with me.  I always love getting emails about how "there is cake for all the staff in the common room" for example.  Yeah, because that's only a two mile walk for me.  I really needed that information.  And please tell me more about the company Tumblr!  I'd troll the damn thing, if anyone actually ever read it.

Trolling tumblr is the best. There are so many vegans to fuck with.

Unfortunately, this particular tumblr is for things which are too long to fit on the company twitter.  It's very...meh.

Yeah, sounds it.

Here's an example:

Last week saw teachers from across the [company] gather at Head Office for the annual [company] English Forum.

Some fantastic ideas and resources were shared - which you can access through the Storify links above.

The [company] Mathematics Forum is being held at the [company] School for Girls (nearest tube: [deleted]) on Thursday 21st March from 4.00 p.m. Please join [person] to share ideas, resources, tips and experiences. Email [another person] if you can make it, please!

Obviously, I need to be emailed every single time this is updated.

[Cain]

Picked up some sort of cold/flu thing. Still gone to work. Woe betide any fool who calls in sick today. I'm 400 miles from home and sick and STILL HERE.

What do you do for a living again?  I always kinda assumed you worked in oil, up on a rig in the North Sea or something.

I'm in Demolition and unfortunately tend to be based away from home a lot. At the moment "a lot" is pretty much all the fucking time.

Well, at least in demolition you get to blow stuff up at the end.

I mean, it must be somewhat cathartic.

I had a friend that did tear-out demolition.  I never ever saw him looking miserable.

I'm more on the contracts/cash side. Far too many meetings, far too little time with my crowbar.

And you have no idea the amount of forms now needed for even a little bang. Ask me about the ex-Sapper crew I worked with one time. They used explosives for everything. I mean fucking everything. Opening cans, Doors, windows.... If explosive kinetic force accomplished the task-Done. They had it down to an art.

My dad used to do demolitions in the Army, and on the railroads afterwards.  They used to take bets on how far they could blow the bridge away from its current location.  And, this being the Australian bush, lots of hilarious pranks involving snakes and coolboxes for beer.

[Golden Applesauce]

I just had lunch with my friend who's currently home from Korea. He's got me semi-seriously considering teaching English there.

Have you seen Dave's Cafe yet? Has a lot of resources / first-hand anecdotes about life as an ESL teacher there.

The major qualifications seem to be a) a college degree, any kind of college degree, and b) a notarized letter saying you don't have a criminal record.

Naturally, 95% of prospective teacher's questions are stuff like "How does notarization work?" (answer: surprisingly easy to mess up, takes longer than you expect [so don't put it off!], and is apparently only ever requested by people who want to teach English in Korea.) and "What counts as a criminal record? Are Koreans cool with drunk driving? I spent a year in prison but it was state not federal law, does the FBI know about that?"

I got the impression that there is a ... divide ... between people with an interest in languages, cultures and teaching, and people who somehow managed to get a degree without acquiring any skills along the way.

[Cain]

This rota looks strange.  Two days on, one day off.  Eight days on, three days off.

[Cain]

Oh man, I'm going to have to learn French.  Again.

But I suppose, on the plus side, I will be living here:

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Oh man, I'm going to have to learn French.  Again.

But I suppose, on the plus side, I will be living here:

WHOA.

FUCK YES.   

[Salty]

Oh man, I'm going to have to learn French.  Again.

But I suppose, on the plus side, I will be living here:

Damn. That's pretty sweet.