Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I have a small person singing Adele in the hallway...

It's kinda weird.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I have a small person singing Adele in the hallway...

It's kinda weird.

I think Enrico's trying to collect the whole set.  You're fucked.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

I was in the shower. We don't even HAVE a Safeway.

OUR supermarket was named for the venerable BUTT FAMILY.

Oh, I know HEB well.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

Teen boys are like boa constrictors, except they digest shit way faster.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

Teen boys are like boa constrictors, except they digest shit way faster.

Noisier, too.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

Teen boys are like boa constrictors, except they digest shit way faster.

Noisier, too.

And more constricty, as can be evidenced by their behavior around their GFs.

Not that, in my experience, the GFs were any less prone to strangling their SOs.

[Salty]

Sorry, was busy plying my trade.

Alty,
If you're the rock, I'll be the hard place.

...wait.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

Teen boys are like boa constrictors, except they digest shit way faster.

Noisier, too.

And more constricty, as can be evidenced by their behavior around their GFs.

Not that, in my experience, the GFs were any less prone to strangling their SOs.

Dear lord, my surprise daughter's (thankfully now ex) boyfriend was the neediest piece of human clingwrap I've ever seen.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear lord, my surprise daughter's (thankfully now ex) boyfriend was the neediest piece of human clingwrap I've ever seen.

I remember being that way myself, back when I was 15 or so.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear lord, my surprise daughter's (thankfully now ex) boyfriend was the neediest piece of human clingwrap I've ever seen.

I remember being that way myself, back when I was 15 or so.

Come to think of it, I'm kinda handsey these days, but that's on account of the wife likes that shit (not that I mind), but the HORRIBLE BOIL OF HORMONES has, over the years, sort of turned into the shit you find in the sink trap.  It's still there, but it's gross and it jams things up, until the whole room is flooded.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Sure, you guys want your Holiness™ on demand, but when I need people to pointlessly post all over the place, you're off to the Fleshpots of Safeway.

My son ate all the chicken last night. All of it. Two pounds of chicken.

THE CHILDREN DEMAND FLESH!

Ah, yes, the teen years.  A full rack of ribs?  RAW?  "Finger food".

It's alarming. And then he passes out on the couch like a baby chick under a heat lamp.

Teen boys are like boa constrictors, except they digest shit way faster.

Noisier, too.

My son used to eat shit that would drop a bull elephant. He'd bet people he could eat sixteen of those $1 McDonald's cheeseburgers and he never lost. He used to buy Reddi Whip and just squirt the whole can in his mouth. 

Roger, what's your experience at HEB? Mine is usually:

A) A friend in Austin tells me about something I'd like that they carry there
B) I go to the HEB here and ask for it and they don't know what the fuck I'm talking about
C) I say "They carry it in Austin"
and
D) The yahoos roll their eyes and say "Austin".

I want to burn it, but I'm concerned about the fumes from the plastic dinnerware with Texas flags and shit all over it.

[Cain]

HOW HARD IS IT TO PRESS A BUTTON?

I mean, goddamnit, really.  I just want to troll your lovely little political forum, that's all.  It's a clean email, username and IP.  It shouldn't take 26 FUCKING HOURS to decide whether or not I should be let in.  FFS.

Oooooh a new political forum? You going to share?

I will if its good and they ever let me in. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING DOG   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear lord, my surprise daughter's (thankfully now ex) boyfriend was the neediest piece of human clingwrap I've ever seen.

I remember being that way myself, back when I was 15 or so.

Come to think of it, I'm kinda handsey these days, but that's on account of the wife likes that shit (not that I mind), but the HORRIBLE BOIL OF HORMONES has, over the years, sort of turned into the shit you find in the sink trap.  It's still there, but it's gross and it jams things up, until the whole room is flooded.