How to Win Enemies and Influence People

[Left]

Your direct influence has helped take a little bit of ugliness out of the world, because you decided to give a shit about human life and put in the work to help preserve it.

Think of all those people who cannot give a shit in Bangladesh.  Give generously.

how old are you? 17?

No, but my sense of humor still has acne problems.

Maybe your "sense of humour" has assburgers, should look into it.

I think Burger King carries those now...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your direct influence has helped take a little bit of ugliness out of the world, because you decided to give a shit about human life and put in the work to help preserve it.

Think of all those people who cannot give a shit in Bangladesh.  Give generously.

I'm not sure, but that smells like a dick move on your part, right there.

OK, I'm gonna do my usual thing, just a disclaimer here

but I read that completely differently, I think.

[LMNO]

ThAts cool, how did you read it?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

Tangentally related story of how much employers give a fuck about safety in general:

About five years ago I was working at a supermarket. Somebody called in a bomb threat (which is, of course, a jake 99% of the time, but that 1% is a bitch). They didn't tell us what was going on, they just got all the workers and customers to go stand outside and wait. Then they got the ONE BLACK EMPLOYEE, who worked as a meat cutter, to go in and walk around the store and "see if he saw anything unusual". Then a cop came and talked with the manager and everybody went back in.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

Tangentally related story of how much employers give a fuck about safety in general:

About five years ago I was working at a supermarket. Somebody called in a bomb threat (which is, of course, a jake 99% of the time, but that 1% is a bitch). They didn't tell us what was going on, they just got all the workers and customers to go stand outside and wait. Then they got the ONE BLACK EMPLOYEE, who worked as a meat cutter, to go in and walk around the store and "see if he saw anything unusual". Then a cop came and talked with the manager and everybody went back in.

I hope that guy gets hazard pay. It's rough enough being the token black guy in movies, let alone real life. Our bomb-threat protocols at my store were ridiculous and stupid. I had to explain them in tiny words to my managers who weren't even told about them, just one of the cashiers came and taped notes under the phones and didn't say anything. It was a circus.

Then again, my store's response to OSHA violations was also part of the circus. The part with all the crying clowns. I cannot fathom the intensity of stupid Roger has to deal with on a daily basis working with all that hazardous shit when there are people who can't even make a fucking sandwich without putting people's lives and safety at risk. My brain flat-out refuses to grok that.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Hazard pay is rarer than fairy dust here.
And he's Black.
And in Texas.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Hazard pay is rarer than fairy dust here.
And he's Black.
And in Texas.

So he got a $5 gift card for KFC and a $.80 off 10lbs of watermelon coupon. Got it.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Hazard pay is rarer than fairy dust here.
And he's Black.
And in Texas.

So he got a $5 gift card for KFC and a $.80 off 10lbs of watermelon coupon. Got it.

Not even. They don't even give employees a fucking turkey for xmas.
More like "STFU or you could lose your job". 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Hazard pay is rarer than fairy dust here.
And he's Black.
And in Texas.

So he got a $5 gift card for KFC and a $.80 off 10lbs of watermelon coupon. Got it.

Not even. They don't even give employees a fucking turkey for xmas.
More like "STFU or you could lose your job". 

Yeah. I know that one.

[Left]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

Tangentally related story of how much employers give a fuck about safety in general:

About five years ago I was working at a supermarket. Somebody called in a bomb threat (which is, of course, a jake 99% of the time, but that 1% is a bitch). They didn't tell us what was going on, they just got all the workers and customers to go stand outside and wait. Then they got the ONE BLACK EMPLOYEE, who worked as a meat cutter, to go in and walk around the store and "see if he saw anything unusual". Then a cop came and talked with the manager and everybody went back in.

THAT is not proper bomb threat protocol.

P.S.
Yes I DO know proper bomb threat protocol, including the RIGHT way to clear a building. 
You tell them it's a fire drill until they get outside.  Stampedes cause injuries.
You make sure the building's empty by doing a walkthrough.
Then don't touch a damn thing, ESPECIALLY light switches or devices, as a change in the power state of any given device or light switch may be a triggering mechanism..
You then wait for the bomb squad, because they know what they are doing and they probably get paid more than you.

P.P.S I'm really glad Rev Roger does his job.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

Tangentally related story of how much employers give a fuck about safety in general:

About five years ago I was working at a supermarket. Somebody called in a bomb threat (which is, of course, a jake 99% of the time, but that 1% is a bitch). They didn't tell us what was going on, they just got all the workers and customers to go stand outside and wait. Then they got the ONE BLACK EMPLOYEE, who worked as a meat cutter, to go in and walk around the store and "see if he saw anything unusual". Then a cop came and talked with the manager and everybody went back in.

THAT is not proper bomb threat protocol.

P.S.
Yes I DO know proper bomb threat protocol, including the RIGHT way to clear a building. 
You tell them it's a fire drill until they get outside.  Stampedes cause injuries.
You make sure the building's empty by doing a walkthrough.
Then don't touch a damn thing, ESPECIALLY light switches or devices, as a change in the power state of any given device or light switch may be a triggering mechanism..
You then wait for the bomb squad, because they know what they are doing and they probably get paid more than you.

P.P.S I'm really glad Rev Roger does his job.

Seguin doesn't seem to have a bomb squad.

[The Johnny]

I guess that guy really showed you, huh, Roger? Sorry you had to deal with the travel bullshit. That many OSHA violations in one place gives me the willies.

Tangentally related story of how much employers give a fuck about safety in general:

About five years ago I was working at a supermarket. Somebody called in a bomb threat (which is, of course, a jake 99% of the time, but that 1% is a bitch). They didn't tell us what was going on, they just got all the workers and customers to go stand outside and wait. Then they got the ONE BLACK EMPLOYEE, who worked as a meat cutter, to go in and walk around the store and "see if he saw anything unusual". Then a cop came and talked with the manager and everybody went back in.

THAT is not proper bomb threat protocol.

P.S.
Yes I DO know proper bomb threat protocol, including the RIGHT way to clear a building. 
You tell them it's a fire drill until they get outside.  Stampedes cause injuries.
You make sure the building's empty by doing a walkthrough.
Then don't touch a damn thing, ESPECIALLY light switches or devices, as a change in the power state of any given device or light switch may be a triggering mechanism..
You then wait for the bomb squad, because they know what they are doing and they probably get paid more than you.

P.P.S I'm really glad Rev Roger does his job.

WRONG

Jack Bauer shows up, shoots some rounds into the air and yells "everybody get out!", and tackles the nearest minority, ties them up, waterboards them, and runs off, gets the bomb, puts it in a pick up truck and runs it off a bridge right before it blows up.

[Golden Applesauce]

The plant manager for our plant that's about 30 miles from Greenville was drunkenly crowing about HIS safety record, and asks if I want to come by "to see how it's done".  He didn't like the fact that he just sat though a lecture by someone who didn't even have a PhD, and now he's all ballsy.  What the hell?  Why not?

It's a step in the right direction that safety is now a thing people brag about having.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The plant manager for our plant that's about 30 miles from Greenville was drunkenly crowing about HIS safety record, and asks if I want to come by "to see how it's done".  He didn't like the fact that he just sat though a lecture by someone who didn't even have a PhD, and now he's all ballsy.  What the hell?  Why not?

It's a step in the right direction that safety is now a thing people brag about having.

Yes, but the next step is actually achieving it.