Dance, Fuckers!

[Doktor Howl]

I am not by nature an agile man.  I lumber my way through life, absent-mindedly knocking innocent bystanders on their asses.  My sex life could best be described as "two front end loaders fighting to the death", with all the attendant groans and hideous shrieks of important components failing in the process.  But despite all this, I dance.

To be precise, I dance badly.  I in fact dance so badly that Timberland tried to hire me as a back up dancer.  This does not stop me from dancing.  I am not dancing for the admiration of those around me.  I am not dancing for points.  I am dancing for two reasons:

1.  My wife likes to dance, and whatever pleases her is what she's going to get.

2.  I like to dance, and I can hardly be held responsible for your reaction to it.

And when the dance starts, and the ceiling risers start to shower dust down on you from the hideous low-frequency pounding the floor is receiving, remember that safety comes first, and you should have been wearing a hard hat, safety glasses, and steel-toe shoes in the first fucking place.  Get next to a wall.  Or stand in a doorway.  I'm not stopping for you or anybody.

Nor will I stop as the lights go out the last time, as the burning trappings of civilization collapse all around me, as the final end result of 35 years of short-sighted thinking finally reveals itself in catastrophic failure, I shall dance on the ruins like Scipio.  And on that day, I promise you, you will finally understand that awful, herky-jerky dance I do.  And you'll wonder why you never thought of it.

But by then, of course, you'll all be doing my dance with me.

Okay for the time being,
Dok

[LMNO]

Oh, HELL yes.


LMNO
-Twerks to the beat of a broken drum machine.

[EK WAFFLR]

I have just recently learned the pleasures of dancing badly. I approve of this.

Waffles,
bumping into EVERYONE.

[Doktor Howl]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

[EK WAFFLR]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

My god. This has to be done. to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G4jnaznUoQ

[Doktor Howl]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

My god. This has to be done. to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G4jnaznUoQ

I was thinking LMFAO, but that works, too.

[EK WAFFLR]

LMFAO is even better.

[Doktor Howl]

LMFAO is even better.

WIGGLE
WIGGLE
WIGGLE,
YEAH

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

Yes.

[EK WAFFLR]

LMFAO is even better.

WIGGLE
WIGGLE
WIGGLE,
YEAH

Let's go
People always say that my music's loud
Sorry for party rocking
Neighbors complain saying turn it down!
Sorry for party rocking
Haters don't like we got the spotlight
Sorry for party rocking
When they talk shit, we just be like
Sorry for party rocking

[LMNO]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

I'M STILL STANDING!
             \

[Suu]

Actually, I now have this image of Roger, instead of dancing, is performing the Ministry of Silly Walks around the chemical plant. I fail to see how this can't be awesome.

[Doktor Howl]

I am considering dancing instead of walking.  Everywhere I go.  Imagine an Elton John video from the 80s.  Imagine me in a hard hat and gas mask.  Imagine the refinery.  No, scratch that, imagine the conference room.

Yeah.  Hell yeah.

I'M STILL STANDING!
             \

YEAH
YEAH
YEAH!

[P3nT4gR4m]

I don't really dance, it's more of a weaponised mosh. It's especially effective at weddings and family do's when granny insists on dragging me up on the floor for the macarena 

[hooplala]

There are those who state I live on Planet Earth. Some people think I live in North America.  Others are more pedantic and claim I live within the borders of what is generally known in the Western World as "Canada"... still others will say I live in the GTA (The land of Rob Ford, not of the endlessly more entertaining video game by the same general name), while others who are no fan of the amalgamation will state that I live in Toronto.

They are all wrong.

I live in the Land of a Thousand Dances, and will remain here until my bones are still bouncing like maggots on midsummer roadkill.

I got the fucking music in me, folks.  And you can't kill the music, even with a chainsaw.