An Open Letter To RWHN

[The Good Reverend Roger]

RWHN,

What you are experiencing these days strikes a familiar chord.  I was in the same boat, from 2003-2005, with 99% of the members and 100% of the admin team, under the last regime.  Everything was antagonistic.  I shat on them, and they were more than happy to shit on any serious thread I attempted, for the obvious reason.  The person pushing this was Hugh, of course, and he successfully managed to reignite the dispute any time it seemed to be calming down...To the point of reading peoples' PMs and forwarding edited versions to 3rd parties.

This led to Hoops believing that my room mate at the time, GITM, was in fact me.  GITM and Hoops were in a stupid conflict of some kind, caused mostly by GITM's bad attitude.  Hoops then responded to me with a pic depicted me as a cross between Alfred E Nueman and Adolf Hitler.  It was screamingly funny, but at the time I couldn't process the humor at all.  This led to a huge spattering of butthurt and screeching that resulted in the whole "Wrong Side of the Tracks Crew", the civil war, etc.

It wasn't until years later that Hoops and I figured out what happened. 

Anyway, my point is this:  Most of the problem was me.  I had found a Cause, and everything had to be tied to that Cause (anti-fascism, in this case, which is what made Hoops' picture so devastatingly effective, given my state of mind).  Everything became personal.  Everything.

Now, a lot of the members at that time were, in my opinion, genuine shitnecks, and I hate them to this day (Hoshiko, Malaul, DJ Rubber Ducky, Agent Compassion, a few others)...But the part I COULD control was ME.

PAUSE:  At this point, you should decide whether to make a snarky comment or seriously consider a solution to the current mess.  If you want to snark, just skip the rest and post your response.  If you're interested in getting things back on track, then read on.

Okay.  You right now have a steamer trunk full of butthurt.  Some of it is caused by some of us, and some of it is all you.  If you wish to be part of this or any other community as anything other than the next incarnation of IANAR, you're going to have to do something with that butthurt.

Some suggestions:

1.  Stop responding to inbound butthurt.  People fling shit your way, just step around it and get on with what you were doing.  That's the only advice I can give with respect to the inbound butthurt, because you really don't have any form of control over that.

2.  Stop treating everyone around you as if they are stupid and/or incompetent.  We're not.  Also, explaining to people who are distraught about something that they deserved it, etc, DOESN'T HELP ANYTHING.  Even if they did deserve it or set themselves up for failure, or whatever.

3.  *important*  Stop trying to tell us how important you are, how smart, how happy, etc.  Seriously.  Take a step back and look at that sort of thing, and tell me what you see.  It's That Guy.  You've met him at parties.  He was the guy that had to tell you all about HIM.  For the whole party.

4.  People are not "assets".  People are not "pixels on a screen".

5.  We can only make decisions about you based on how you post.  Do your posts reflect the real, complete "you"?  I doubt it.  But what else do we have to go on?  You say that people shouldn't "judge" at all, but you and I both know that's ridiculous.  People don't "decide" to form an opinion, they just DO it.  So what you post is, effectively, the only thing people can form that opinion on.  Action/reaction.  How else could you possibly expect the universe to behave?

6.  If you can't accept the above items as accurate, and you believe that we are all bad people martyring you, then why are you here?  You contributed in the past, but it is now effectively impossible for you to communicate anything other than the usual mishegoss of shitflinging that has been going on in all directions for several years now.  If you want to communicate anything else, you have to decide that you're talking TO people, not lecturing AT assets or talking very slowly to idiots.  If you can't do that sort of thing for one reason for another, then the only thing PD is going to be for you is provide an environment in which you can become more bitter and antagonistic.

So, you know, it's sort of on you.  Take it for what it's worth.

[AFK]

Before I make my response do I have acknowledgement from you that you are a significant part of the "inbound butthurt" ?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Before I make my response do I have acknowledgement from you that you are a significant part of the "inbound butthurt" ?

Of course.  This wasn't "IT'S ALL YOU, RWHN", but the 1st piece of advice is the only control you have over inbound butthurt, which is why I didn't talk about it much.

[AFK]

That could imply:


"People are going to continue to be shitty towards you, so just shut up and take it."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Or it could imply that if you stop reacting to it, and particularly if you stop baiting it, there will no longer be any incentive for anyone to do it and it will gradually stop.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That could imply:


"People are going to continue to be shitty towards you, so just shut up and take it."

Or it could imply why not take the high ground. Which isnt a sign of weakness or giving in. Theres really nothing to win in a shitflinging match. Even if you dont get hit its still on your hand.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That could imply:


"People are going to continue to be shitty towards you, so just shut up and take it."

I don't feel that I have anything else to contribute, here.

Carry on.

[AFK]

The past would indicate otherwise.  I mean, there are certain people who started being shitty simply because of my opinion on marijuana legalization.  That has always been at the heart of it.  If I thought those people could tolerate a difference of opinion on that subject, perhaps I would be more likely to react to those people in a different manner.  The track record hasn't been great, however. 


A declaration of tolerance will be a good first step. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think there might be something to points #2 and #3 that would also go a long way toward alleviating the issue of inbound butthurt.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That has always been at the heart of it. 

No, it hasn't.  And this is the disconnect.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I think there might be something to points #2 and #3 that would also go a long way toward alleviating the issue of inbound butthurt.

We're apparently stalled on #1.

[tarod]

Sooooo what do you do RWHN? do you tell stories? write rants? make things? pranks?
I come here for cool stuff, and to hang out with people that think.
I mean this is a discordian board so there's going to be trolling, but you don't really seem like you're trolling for fun. They  and go.

What I'm saying is: maybe this isn't the right place for you? The internet is a big place. I don't know all this nonsense crap history you guys have AND I DON"T CARE.

TL:DR version

If you're not enjoying your time here why are you here?

[AFK]

That has always been at the heart of it. 

No, it hasn't.  And this is the disconnect.

Sorry, I strongly disagree.  This shit started the same time the drug threads proliferated.  That isn't a coincidence.  #1 is going to be difficult if there is only expectations [size=78%]on one side to move.  [/size]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That has always been at the heart of it. 

No, it hasn't.  And this is the disconnect.

Sorry, I strongly disagree.  This shit started the same time the drug threads proliferated.  That isn't a coincidence.  #1 is going to be difficult if there is only expectations [size=78%]on one side to move.  [/size]

I tried.

Leaving thread now.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That has always been at the heart of it. 

No, it hasn't.  And this is the disconnect.

Sorry, I strongly disagree.  This shit started the same time the drug threads proliferated.  That isn't a coincidence.  #1 is going to be difficult if there is only expectations [size=78%]on one side to move.  [/size]

Maybe with some people. Maybe you could just ignore them.i suspect that those people arent bothered by your position so much as rationale. I wont speak for them. Personally i dont care that we disagree on legalization. We just have different sensibilities on the matter.