Author Topic: Penis beaker  (Read 5236 times)

Pope Pixie Pickle

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Penis beaker
« on: October 10, 2013, 02:52:43 pm »
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis?

this thread is a classic example of the weird on Mumsnet, a forum dominated by wimmins. It has gone viral and is even in the Telegraph?!!?

their 50 Shades parody was amaze.

I am a little concerned about the Zoflora (disinfectant) and douche lady though. IT'S A SELF-CLEANING ORGANISM WTF DON'T PUT THE CHEMICAL THINGS IN THERE!


"YOU SAY CULTURAL MARXISM LIKE IT'S A BAD THING"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2013, 04:17:58 pm »
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis?

this thread is a classic example of the weird on Mumsnet, a forum dominated by wimmins. It has gone viral and is even in the Telegraph?!!?

their 50 Shades parody was amaze.

I am a little concerned about the Zoflora (disinfectant) and douche lady though. IT'S A SELF-CLEANING ORGANISM WTF DON'T PUT THE CHEMICAL THINGS IN THERE!

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: WOW.

This post made me burst out laughing though:

Quote
I don't mean to be rude, but are you both so dirty that you require immediate cleaning?

That must be sexy. You do it then spring apart, you rush to the bathroom and he plunges his knob into a bucket.

You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.

And, TMI, but nothing ACTUALLY NEEDS TO BE WASHED. Toweled off, at the most. It's good for the skin though, so depending on where it ends up I generally just rub it in.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Pope Pixie Pickle

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2013, 05:27:54 pm »
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis?

this thread is a classic example of the weird on Mumsnet, a forum dominated by wimmins. It has gone viral and is even in the Telegraph?!!?

their 50 Shades parody was amaze.

I am a little concerned about the Zoflora (disinfectant) and douche lady though. IT'S A SELF-CLEANING ORGANISM WTF DON'T PUT THE CHEMICAL THINGS IN THERE!

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: WOW.

This post made me burst out laughing though:

Quote
I don't mean to be rude, but are you both so dirty that you require immediate cleaning?

That must be sexy. You do it then spring apart, you rush to the bathroom and he plunges his knob into a bucket.

You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.

And, TMI, but nothing ACTUALLY NEEDS TO BE WASHED. Toweled off, at the most. It's good for the skin though, so depending on where it ends up I generally just rub it in.

the Mumsnet Classics threads are well worth a trawl through.
"YOU SAY CULTURAL MARXISM LIKE IT'S A BAD THING"

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2013, 05:29:26 pm »
Personally, I douse myself in carbolic acid after sex.  It's the only way to be SAFE.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2013, 05:31:57 pm »
Personally, I douse myself in carbolic acid after sex.  It's the only way to be SAFE.

 :lulz:

Can you imagine being with a lady, and after sex she hands you a glass of water, then, as you gratefully start to drink it, she wails "NO THAT'S FOR YOUR PENIS!!!"?
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2013, 05:34:32 pm »
Personally, I douse myself in carbolic acid after sex.  It's the only way to be SAFE.

 :lulz:

Can you imagine being with a lady, and after sex she hands you a glass of water, then, as you gratefully start to drink it, she wails "NO THAT'S FOR YOUR PENIS!!!"?

Boy, is MY face red!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2013, 05:34:47 pm »
I can't wait to get home and read that blog.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2013, 05:36:29 pm »
Wait.  I CAN see that.

:lulz:

I am now going to build a NASCAR-esque pit stop beside the bed.  Jenn will murder me and stuff me between the walls, but the look of incomprehension will be worth every agonizing moment.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2013, 05:57:33 pm »
Wait.  I CAN see that.

:lulz:

I am now going to build a NASCAR-esque pit stop beside the bed.  Jenn will murder me and stuff me between the walls, but the look of incomprehension will be worth every agonizing moment.

 :lulz: My favorite part:

Quote
I don't think he wants to spring off the bed but doesn't want to sit there sticky, so I dash off to pee while he does his temporary clean. I am sure at least one other person will come along and say they do something like this, I am sure.

Needless to say, nobody did.  :lol:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2013, 06:50:26 pm »
POST-SEX DECONTAMINATION STATION IN THE IDEA STAGE.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pope Pixie Pickle

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2013, 06:51:15 pm »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkDZHavM9kE

there are all sorts of strange viral memes springing up from Penis Beaker.

Someone suggested using popping candy during oral sex.

"YOU SAY CULTURAL MARXISM LIKE IT'S A BAD THING"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2013, 06:52:54 pm »
 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2013, 06:53:29 pm »
oral sex.

Note to self:  High pressure dental water jet for station.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pope Pixie Pickle

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2013, 06:54:45 pm »
oral sex.

Note to self:  High pressure dental water jet for station.

Really, alcohol based mouthwash is the safest and most recommended product for oral sex hygiene precautions..
"YOU SAY CULTURAL MARXISM LIKE IT'S A BAD THING"

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Penis beaker
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2013, 07:01:27 pm »
oral sex.

Note to self:  High pressure dental water jet for station.

Really, alcohol based mouthwash is the safest and most recommended product for oral sex hygiene precautions..

Mouth?  Hadn't gotten there yet.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.