Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Suu]

It is worth a write-up for? That way he ISN'T fired but still disciplined?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It is worth a write-up for? That way he ISN'T fired but still disciplined?

At the very least, he's getting suspended for a week.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Is this Mike the Engineer or another Mikey?

Mike the millwright.  One of my newer guys.

Oh, well then. I was all set with the pitchforks and torches but didn't think you could fire Mike the Engineer. Motherfucker is made of Teflon. Is Millwright Mikey normally a fuck-up or is this a one-off?

You kinda gotta suspend him because ALL RULES ALL THE TIME but it would suck to fire him for getting caught in the crossfire of interdepartmental warfare.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Not to mention that shit is dangerous as fuck and he probably could have y'know, killed someone.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Is this Mike the Engineer or another Mikey?

Mike the millwright.  One of my newer guys.

Oh, well then. I was all set with the pitchforks and torches but didn't think you could fire Mike the Engineer. Motherfucker is made of Teflon. Is Millwright Mikey normally a fuck-up or is this a one-off?

You kinda gotta suspend him because ALL RULES ALL THE TIME but it would suck to fire him for getting caught in the crossfire of interdepartmental warfare.

He's not a self-starter, but he isn't a fuckup, either.  It's just that A) CSE is so fucking dangerous, and B) I had JUST TALKED TO THEM ABOUT THIS SHIT.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Is this Mike the Engineer or another Mikey?

Mike the millwright.  One of my newer guys.

Oh, well then. I was all set with the pitchforks and torches but didn't think you could fire Mike the Engineer. Motherfucker is made of Teflon. Is Millwright Mikey normally a fuck-up or is this a one-off?

You kinda gotta suspend him because ALL RULES ALL THE TIME but it would suck to fire him for getting caught in the crossfire of interdepartmental warfare.

He's not a self-starter, but he isn't a fuckup, either.  It's just that A) CSE is so fucking dangerous, and B) I had JUST TALKED TO THEM ABOUT THIS SHIT.

If I were in this position, I think I'd hit him hard and hope it stuck, but not fire him. I can't imagine how much fun this is for you, on top of the other bullshit. Cough on him twice.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It will be easier to do, once you have the bath salts.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I will probably end up receiving something absolutely twatty like bath salts and lipgloss.

Stocking stuffer for the kid who ate your pizza. Spend the money you save on buying one more present on another pizza for yourself.

This is brilliant, actually.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It is.  I'm basically doing the same thing by not telling anyone what I want for Xmas.  Because, truth is, I don't really want anything.

People don't seem to get that this is the case, however, and it's driving them crazy.

I did this too, and my family absolutely couldn't wrap their heads around it. Then I got divorced and didn't have to celebrate Christmas anymore, and seriously their brains melted down. They STILL call me to wish me Merry Christmas, and I'm like, you know it's been 14 years since I last celebrated this stupid holiday that I hate, right?

It was never my favorite, but really, it's been OVER 22 YEARS since I declared my official hatred of it. And they were why. They have so many fucking RULES around what "has to happen" for Christmas and after I got married my mom had an insane tantrum because I wanted to spend Christmas morning with my husband and then come over after breakfast. She actually CRIED. And had my sister call me to guilt trip me. I was like, "Look, I work retail, I'm exhausted, this is the one day this week I get to sleep in and spend some time just having a calm morning with my husband, you guys go ahead and have a lovely breakfast and I'll see you around 10, in plenty of time to start preparing for dinner" and it was like I'd fucking slaughtered a million Jewish babies. HEIL HITLER, apparently, if I wanted to sleep in and have a relaxed Christmas morning.

After that I just said fuck you guys. I am never ever ever having Christmas with my family again.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It is.  I'm basically doing the same thing by not telling anyone what I want for Xmas.  Because, truth is, I don't really want anything.

People don't seem to get that this is the case, however, and it's driving them crazy.

I've taken that stance for years. Trust me, people will never get it. You will end up with shit you just throw away though. I suggest storage as a good go to. Can never have too many spare external HDD. Or think shit you always need to replace, such as headphones.

Or food. If people insist on giving me something, I just ask that it be something that can be used up.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

It is.  I'm basically doing the same thing by not telling anyone what I want for Xmas.  Because, truth is, I don't really want anything.

People don't seem to get that this is the case, however, and it's driving them crazy.

I did this too, and my family absolutely couldn't wrap their heads around it. Then I got divorced and didn't have to celebrate Christmas anymore, and seriously their brains melted down. They STILL call me to wish me Merry Christmas, and I'm like, you know it's been 14 years since I last celebrated this stupid holiday that I hate, right?

It was never my favorite, but really, it's been OVER 22 YEARS since I declared my official hatred of it. And they were why. They have so many fucking RULES around what "has to happen" for Christmas and after I got married my mom had an insane tantrum because I wanted to spend Christmas morning with my husband and then come over after breakfast. She actually CRIED. And had my sister call me to guilt trip me. I was like, "Look, I work retail, I'm exhausted, this is the one day this week I get to sleep in and spend some time just having a calm morning with my husband, you guys go ahead and have a lovely breakfast and I'll see you around 10, in plenty of time to start preparing for dinner" and it was like I'd fucking slaughtered a million Jewish babies. HEIL HITLER, apparently, if I wanted to sleep in and have a relaxed Christmas morning.

After that I just said fuck you guys. I am never ever ever having Christmas with my family again.

Yeeeaaaah. I am familiar with this scenario as well.

[Cain]

I don't mind presents, or celebrating Christmas.  I just literally cannot think of anything I want, desire or need.

Well, except a faster internet connection, which isn't happening, and a good desk/chair, which I don't have space for.

[Sita]

People get offended when I say that I would be happy with a gift card or straight up cash.
If I were to ask for an item that costs 50 bucks, their eyes twinkle and they run off to buy. But suggest they just get me a gift card for the same amount it's a fricken crime and I'm being greedy.

[LMNO]

I've also taken to asking people to donate to various charities in my name.

I usually try to find charities that has a potential of making them uncomfortable.  For example, my evangelical Aunt can make as many donations as she wants to the AIDS action committee. or PFLAG.

[East Coast Hustle]

Y'know, with the notable exceptions of Cain and Bear, I think just about everyone ITT has sounded like a cassowary receiving a steam-pipe enema for the last 4 or 5 pages days.

Gee, yeah, thanks. Because obviously it makes perfect sense that if somebody's mad at me for something I didn't do, I am equally at fault.

Where did I say anything about fault?