Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Junkenstein]

Driving test in less than an hour.

Even though I should be out of the age range of "Boy Racer" stereotypes, I have gone full on shirt and tie and shiny shoes with the added benefit of if I pass and they want me to take one of these cheesy pictures I've got my companies name sewn on the shirt so I'll look boss as fuck and my actual boss may reward me (unlikely, but worth a shot).

Here's to not killing anyone even slightly in the next couple hours!

Have fun.  Remember, a granny with a stroller is worth at least 50 points.

Passed.

That's better than 52% of other people who have taken their first practical test.

I didn't even take out one of the kids going to school, let alone a stroller gran.

Congratulations!

You too are now free to be baffled by the extraordinary costs of Insurance! And fuel! And repairs! And Road Tax! You are also free to have unreasonable requests directed towards you because of this skill. Remember to fill any vehicle with a bunch of crap all over the seats to mitigate this.

Oh, you'll be told that Insurance will be cheaper when you are X years old or have Y no claims. This is a lie. Get used to the shafting.

Issued with a work van, on insurance, tax, MOT, servicing and everything else covered by them.

I'm not allowed to use it for anything but work purposes either, so no one can ask me to do driving stuff for them!

Good going that man then.

[Cain]

Might try and experiment with Twitch this evening, see how bad livestreaming would be with my internet.

I'll let you guys know if I get up and running and when I'll be on.

[Cain]

Can't get image to stream, and it's already dropping frames.  Yeah...I don't see this happening at all.

[LMNO]

Damn. TECHNOLOGY, WHY U NO FUNCTION?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well, THAT story ended faster than I thought it would.   

[LMNO]

Like a smack in the face!

[Cain]

Damn. TECHNOLOGY, WHY U NO FUNCTION?

Well, even if it did, the frame droppage would make it basically unwatchable.  And that's a bandwidth problem, essentially.

If I were still in London, I might be able to do it.  But if I were still in London, I'd be hating myself and my life too much to do anything.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Like a smack in the face!

Like a mental image that I will carry forever! 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Like a smack in the face!

Like a mental image that I will carry forever! 

I would look hot in a red dress and roller skates.

With my pupils contracted and a mouth full of razor blades.

[Cain]

Youtube may let me stream...if I prove I can be a good boy.  Which, given Youtube's general attitude towards anyone who doesn't have 10 billion subscribers, will probably never happen.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

*Short, unreasonable ranting ahead*.

So I just spent a pay check taking my cat to the vet to figure out why she's wasting away to nothing.

Got the blood work back and everything is picture perfect. Kidneys, thyroid, white cells; all that shit is perfectly normal. So it's either genetic or I have figure out how to afford an x-ray of her stomach to see if there's something keeping her from digesting food properly or whatever.

It's the same thing every time I go to the doctor, too. Perfect everything. Nothing wrong. Don't know why migraines and increased vertigo and the rest.

What the fuck use are these people?

*/end vent*

[LMNO]

This is the reason "pet insurance" is actually a thing.

I know a few people whose attachment to those yowling furry parasites are so intense, they've spent literally thousands of dollars keeping them alive one more year.

I occasionally like my cat, often don't, but I'm pretty sure for all my cavalier callousness, I'll end up doing the same.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

This is the reason "pet insurance" is actually a thing.

I know a few people whose attachment to those yowling furry parasites are so intense, they've spent literally thousands of dollars keeping them alive one more year.

I occasionally like my cat, often don't, but I'm pretty sure for all my cavalier callousness, I'll end up doing the same.

Pet insurance. Yeah.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Like a smack in the face!

Like a mental image that I will carry forever! 

I CAN EXPLAIN!

http://www.nbcnews.com/science/bizarre-microbes-discovered-desert-cave-arizona-2D11692102

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Like a smack in the face!

Like a mental image that I will carry forever! 

I would look hot in a red dress and roller skates.

With my pupils contracted and a mouth full of razor blades.

Even if you didn't, you'd be told whatever you wanted to hear just so you didn't bite people's fingers off. And hey, since you're a hot thing in a red dress, you wouldn't have to pay for drinks at all. Especially if you smile real pretty.