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OPEN BAR: it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again

Started by Salty, February 02, 2014, 03:49:04 AM

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East Coast Hustle

#540
February 17, 2014, 07:45:27 PM
Dear whoever decided that Valentine's day should be on a weekend and coincide with an actual holiday,

     We would really like to shave you to death with a mandolin slicer, starting at the bottoms of the feet and working up.


Sincerely,

               ALL THE COOKS
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Junkenstein

#541
February 17, 2014, 07:46:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:40:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:39:02 PM
Claim to be one or the other and fuck off home.

Worth a shot.

I was home for 2 weeks.  I was crawling up the walls.  At least here, I can torment stupid people.
Shit, was it that long?

I'm surprised there wasn't some kind of incident reported on the news.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Salty

#542
February 17, 2014, 07:47:50 PM
I am, thankfully, starting to stop feeling so damned sorry for myself and recognizing how lucky I.am to have escape this marriage now, instead of years from now or after a nervous breakdown
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#543
February 17, 2014, 07:50:18 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:46:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:40:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:39:02 PM
Claim to be one or the other and fuck off home.

Worth a shot.

I was home for 2 weeks.  I was crawling up the walls.  At least here, I can torment stupid people.
Shit, was it that long?

I'm surprised there wasn't some kind of incident reported on the news.

Yep.  With the wife out of state and the cable/internets off.  :crankey:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#544
February 17, 2014, 07:52:17 PM
Tucson: Giving you the holiday that you never really wanted!

Forever.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#545
February 17, 2014, 07:54:47 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:52:17 PM
Tucson: Giving you the holiday that you never really wanted!

Forever.

Well, I think I have found a way to extend Tucson to other locations.  First experiment will be Portland.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#546
February 17, 2014, 07:56:24 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:36:26 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 17, 2014, 07:35:53 PM
Apparently it's Presidents Day or something in the US?  I guess most people are taking advantage of the holiday.

Me, I'm having fun cleaning the house and getting rid of junk.

Nobody gets president's day off, except civil servants and some students.

Bastards, I don't get mail because of George Washington.

THANKS OBAMA
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

#547
February 17, 2014, 07:58:51 PM
Quote from: The Suu on February 17, 2014, 07:56:24 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:36:26 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 17, 2014, 07:35:53 PM
Apparently it's Presidents Day or something in the US?  I guess most people are taking advantage of the holiday.

Me, I'm having fun cleaning the house and getting rid of junk.

Nobody gets president's day off, except civil servants and some students.

Bastards, I don't get mail because of George Washington.

THANKS OBAMA

And Abraham Lincoln.  Their birthdays were combined so that people could work an extra 8 hours.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#548
February 17, 2014, 07:59:26 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 17, 2014, 07:45:27 PM
Dear whoever decided that Valentine's day should be on a weekend and coincide with an actual holiday,

     We would really like to shave you to death with a mandolin slicer, starting at the bottoms of the feet and working up.


Sincerely,

               ALL THE COOKS

Ask that poor fucker who got stoned to death. Bastard.

I often wonder if there is a heaven, and there are saints up there. I see poor fucking Valentine looking down and going, "Wow, I died for Whitman's Sampler and one night stands."
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Junkenstein

#549
February 17, 2014, 08:01:27 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:54:47 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:52:17 PM
Tucson: Giving you the holiday that you never really wanted!

Forever.

Well, I think I have found a way to extend Tucson to other locations.  First experiment will be Portland.

If it's any consolation, you appear to have made it fucking transatlantic. I swear I'm watching people de-evolve by the day round here sometimes. I had to explain to a guy who wanted a job that in order to drive a work van you'd need a little thing called a "Driving licence".

He hadn't got one as he'd been banned for drink driving. But he only has however long left. It's like a fucking candid camera show without the smug host intervening.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#550
February 17, 2014, 08:04:04 PM
Quote from: The Suu on February 17, 2014, 07:59:26 PM
I often wonder if there is a heaven, and there are saints up there. I see poor fucking Valentine looking down and going, "Wow, I died for Whitman's Sampler and one night stands."

Can you think of a better reason?  I can't.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#551
February 17, 2014, 08:04:33 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 08:01:27 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:54:47 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:52:17 PM
Tucson: Giving you the holiday that you never really wanted!

Forever.

Well, I think I have found a way to extend Tucson to other locations.  First experiment will be Portland.

If it's any consolation, you appear to have made it fucking transatlantic. I swear I'm watching people de-evolve by the day round here sometimes. I had to explain to a guy who wanted a job that in order to drive a work van you'd need a little thing called a "Driving licence".

He hadn't got one as he'd been banned for drink driving. But he only has however long left. It's like a fucking candid camera show without the smug host intervening.

I told you.  I warned you.  30 days, I said.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#552
February 17, 2014, 08:25:28 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 08:04:04 PM
Quote from: The Suu on February 17, 2014, 07:59:26 PM
I often wonder if there is a heaven, and there are saints up there. I see poor fucking Valentine looking down and going, "Wow, I died for Whitman's Sampler and one night stands."

Can you think of a better reason?  I can't.

Not really, as far as saints days go, he takes the cake. Not even Jesus and his Cadbury Eggs can top that.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Suu

#553
February 17, 2014, 08:28:08 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:50:18 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:46:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 17, 2014, 07:40:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 17, 2014, 07:39:02 PM
Claim to be one or the other and fuck off home.

Worth a shot.

I was home for 2 weeks.  I was crawling up the walls.  At least here, I can torment stupid people.
Shit, was it that long?

I'm surprised there wasn't some kind of incident reported on the news.

Yep.  With the wife out of state and the cable/internets off.  :crankey:

That explains it. I was seriously wondering if I was going to have to call you and make sure you didn't go blind.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Reginald Ret

#554
February 17, 2014, 10:21:33 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 17, 2014, 07:10:43 PM
It's no different over there.

I'm beginning to suspect the problem is more fundamental. I think that people are slowly moving away from viewing the internet as an interactive thing. It's becoming TV.
Everyone is socially overextended. Your phone has a camera so you are always watched. You can get calls in the middle of the night for no good reason. When at work most people deal with between 50 and 100 people. They probably don't like most of them. After work they get to spend 45 minutes stuck in traffic surrounded by people they can't relate to because of the metal box every one of them is in. When they finally get home and relax they watch reality TV about people, talk to their 100-200 friends and family that they feel compelled to keep in touch with regularly, watch movies with famous people who are often as real to them as their friends, play games with other people pretending to be people surrounded by even more NPC-people, read books about other people having better lives than them and at night they dream about all the people they fear they have let down.

Why won't you assholes just leave me alone and walk into the sea?

Hmm, i may have been talking about myself a bit here.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"
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