Author Topic: So here's a question  (Read 6128 times)

Sir Squid Diddimus

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2014, 01:07:32 pm »
I think I have the most unpopular opinion.
I feel like B would be worse.
Growing up, watching a parent struggle with depression, seeing them fall apart.
I think A would just be a moment of grief and then they'd be able to move on and get over it?
How does a person deal with watching someone hurt for no reason. Trying to comfort them and there's nothing they can say or do to make anything better?
I dunno. I have a weird way of thinking I guess.

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2014, 01:52:59 pm »
I think I have the most unpopular opinion.
I feel like B would be worse.
Growing up, watching a parent struggle with depression, seeing them fall apart.
I think A would just be a moment of grief and then they'd be able to move on and get over it?
How does a person deal with watching someone hurt for no reason. Trying to comfort them and there's nothing they can say or do to make anything better?
I dunno. I have a weird way of thinking I guess.

A moment of grief, followed by a lifetime of "why would mom/dad kill him/herself while I was still alive?"
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2014, 02:18:51 pm »
I think I have the most unpopular opinion.
I feel like B would be worse.
Growing up, watching a parent struggle with depression, seeing them fall apart.
I think A would just be a moment of grief and then they'd be able to move on and get over it?
How does a person deal with watching someone hurt for no reason. Trying to comfort them and there's nothing they can say or do to make anything better?
I dunno. I have a weird way of thinking I guess.

Except that the moment of grief lasts forever.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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Sir Squid Diddimus

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2014, 04:37:51 pm »
True, true.
But in a sense, you can still grieve for someone alive as long as they are suffering.
Or maybe I'm alone in that.
I know that I can be almost unbearable for my family sometimes.
But I guess there are those good times when I'm on an upswing and they get to enjoy me being alive, right?

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2014, 04:41:40 pm »
True, true.
But in a sense, you can still grieve for someone alive as long as they are suffering.
Or maybe I'm alone in that.
I know that I can be almost unbearable for my family sometimes.
But I guess there are those good times when I'm on an upswing and they get to enjoy me being alive, right?

They're still around, right?
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2014, 04:46:10 pm »
True, true.
But in a sense, you can still grieve for someone alive as long as they are suffering.
Or maybe I'm alone in that.
I know that I can be almost unbearable for my family sometimes.
But I guess there are those good times when I'm on an upswing and they get to enjoy me being alive, right?

They haven't charged for the door recently, have they?

Your perceptions are most likely fucked.  Just saying.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2014, 04:57:08 pm »
True, true.
But in a sense, you can still grieve for someone alive as long as they are suffering.
Or maybe I'm alone in that.
I know that I can be almost unbearable for my family sometimes.
But I guess there are those good times when I'm on an upswing and they get to enjoy me being alive, right?

They haven't charged for the door recently, have they?

Your perceptions are most likely fucked.  Just saying.

This. When you're depressed you're unbearable to yourself. People around you want to help pull you out of that. Skewed perception is a part of the whole thing.
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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2014, 05:05:15 pm »
Carnival is in this thread, right now.  Weird and deliberately nasty post concerning the OP in 3...2...1...
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pergamos

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2014, 09:40:57 pm »
I'm bipolar myself and I've been involved with a lot of depressive people.  Lucky for me none of them were my parents but I do understand the difficulty of caring deeply for someone and having her be miserable and being unable to do anything about it.  One of the depressive people that I was involved with flirted with suicide.  We ended things years ago, and we haven't talked in years, I do however still think about her because she had a big impact on my life.  I wasn't able to make her happy, it made me feel helpless and when she was down she would sometimes lash out at me and make me feel as if her misery was my own fault.  I was entangled with her in a relationship which wasn't healthy for either of us but which I was completely devoted to.  She ended things with me and that put me in a downward spiral that led to being institutionalized after an attempt at suicide myself.

That said I am still glad that she broke things off with me rather than with life in general.  I would have blamed myself  (I did for the breakup as well, but being at fault for a breakup is a much easier burden than being at fault for a death) and I would probably have tried much harder to make sure that I was properly dead.  I know that my own bipolar is sometimes hard on my family.  I'm fairly high functioning so it's not a huge burden but I recognize that it is one.  On the other hand I can't imagine how devastated they would be if I were to kill myself.

I hope you can pull through and keep functioning but if you really truly believe that suicide is the best option, for the good of your family as well as yourself then alienate your family first.  Alienate them so thoroughly that they will not even hear of the news of your death.  You will be abandoning them either way and a "regular" abandonment is far less cruel than a suicide that they can blame themselves for.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2014, 09:42:42 pm »
I hope you can pull through and keep functioning but if you really truly believe that suicide is the best option, for the good of your family as well as yourself then alienate your family first.  Alienate them so thoroughly that they will not even hear of the news of your death.  You will be abandoning them either way and a "regular" abandonment is far less cruel than a suicide that they can blame themselves for.

For the life of me, I cannot find an emote appropriate for this. 

Not comparing you to him, but this comment ranks up there with Babylon Horuv's "If my daughter were raped, I hope they kill her so she doesn't have to live with it."

Just saying.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #25 on: April 15, 2014, 09:48:16 pm »
Perhaps that's an incredibly fucked up thing for you to post. Did you think at all about that last bit before you posted it?
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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #26 on: April 15, 2014, 09:49:54 pm »
Pergamos not perhaps. Damn autocorrect.
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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #27 on: April 15, 2014, 09:50:20 pm »
What the actual fuck?

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #28 on: April 15, 2014, 09:55:00 pm »
Maybe it sounded better in his head.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: So here's a question
« Reply #29 on: April 15, 2014, 10:04:49 pm »
Killing yourself is abandoning your family and if you are going to abandon them you should do so in the least painful way to them.  Not that abandoning your family is ok anyway, but people do it all the time.  Most of them by simply running off and not keeping in touch.