OPEN BAR: Now endorsed by Foodbabe!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Phone works at least. For now.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It's amazing how boring it is to sit in the dark.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It's amazing how boring it is to sit in the dark.

That does sound pretty boring,

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It's amazing how boring it is to sit in the dark.

That does sound pretty boring,

I have a much better handle now on why our ancestors were so driven to create the internet.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It's amazing how boring it is to sit in the dark.

That does sound pretty boring,

I have a much better handle now on why our ancestors were so driven to create the internet.

Dear lord, picture that long play...

"Listen Ug. You gotta fuck the smartest chick/dude in the cave. Uh... consistently, like. Because this shit is boring, and we need to make computers. I don't even know what the shit a computer is, but some god told me about how awesome it was when you link them up for porn and talking. You need to make that happen. Apparently it's a series of chain reactions  starting from rubbing these two sticks together, figuring out the stabbiest way to stab meat, putting mold in the wheat juice, forgetting where you put the seeds at first but remembering later, and uh.... while you're at it try to work out why round things roll around."

[Doktor Howl]

Crappy trip to Portland because Portland (fucking rain, fucking people, fucking streets, nothing fucking works), and crappier return to Tucson, the gory details of which I will not be going into.  I won't be on much for a bit, because none of you deserve my mood.

[LMNO]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

[Doktor Howl]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

[Doktor Howl]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

Yeah, it blew.  And I'm actually kinda GLAD that you were too busy to meet for dinner, because I wasn't gonna be much company.  I was exhausted and too damn angry, and you didn't deserve to be subjected to that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It's amazing how boring it is to sit in the dark.

That does sound pretty boring,

I have a much better handle now on why our ancestors were so driven to create the internet.

Dear lord, picture that long play...

"Listen Ug. You gotta fuck the smartest chick/dude in the cave. Uh... consistently, like. Because this shit is boring, and we need to make computers. I don't even know what the shit a computer is, but some god told me about how awesome it was when you link them up for porn and talking. You need to make that happen. Apparently it's a series of chain reactions  starting from rubbing these two sticks together, figuring out the stabbiest way to stab meat, putting mold in the wheat juice, forgetting where you put the seeds at first but remembering later, and uh.... while you're at it try to work out why round things roll around."

Here's how it started. THERE WAS NOTHING TO FUCKING DO, so people sat around all day and tried to come up with things to make life easier/more fun. It started with string, and everything just snowballed from there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

Yeah, it blew.  And I'm actually kinda GLAD that you were too busy to meet for dinner, because I wasn't gonna be much company.  I was exhausted and too damn angry, and you didn't deserve to be subjected to that.

If it's any consolation, immediately after you left everything broke. Some people still don't have electricity. Mostly just the poor brown people, but still.

[Doktor Howl]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

Yeah, it blew.  And I'm actually kinda GLAD that you were too busy to meet for dinner, because I wasn't gonna be much company.  I was exhausted and too damn angry, and you didn't deserve to be subjected to that.

If it's any consolation, immediately after you left everything broke. Some people still don't have electricity. Mostly just the poor brown people, but still.

Nothing works in Portland.  I cannot be held responsible for these things.  Hell, my GPS tried to lure me into a dark alley, the signs to City Center LIE, and trains just randomly stop on crossings for 65 minutes.  I only ever found the airport by driving the 2.8 miles to your place, going up to Prescott, and taking the directions you gave me last time.

Even google maps lies.  I walked to a bar that was 7 blocks from the hotel, and I had to search for 45 minutes, because Google Maps told me to go the exact wrong direction.  And that was BEFORE I spent an entire day being unable to ask and recieve an answer even ONCE without fucking Mike interrupting to demonstrate to the guys (at the plant we were visiting) how well he understood their process.

Fortunately, there was this big river RIGHT THERE, and I threw his lunch in it.  This forced him to shut up and leave in a reasonable amount of time, thus preventing a homicide.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

Yeah, it blew.  And I'm actually kinda GLAD that you were too busy to meet for dinner, because I wasn't gonna be much company.  I was exhausted and too damn angry, and you didn't deserve to be subjected to that.

If it's any consolation, immediately after you left everything broke. Some people still don't have electricity. Mostly just the poor brown people, but still.

And you were hours away from not being able to fly out. Someone from facebook TDS got stuck at an airport hotel because they said no-go on the flights.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Did you hear the song of the Bridges?

Drowned out by the nonstop fucking rain and by the utter failure of Mike the Engineer.

I may as well have stayed at home.  Spent a fucking day getting soaked and learning NOTHING, because FATASS COULDN'T SHUT UP.  I finally was forced to throw his lunch into the river.

Then I came home and everything sucked more.  I'm so fucking mad I'm not prepared, at this moment, to go into it.

Yeah, it blew.  And I'm actually kinda GLAD that you were too busy to meet for dinner, because I wasn't gonna be much company.  I was exhausted and too damn angry, and you didn't deserve to be subjected to that.

If it's any consolation, immediately after you left everything broke. Some people still don't have electricity. Mostly just the poor brown people, but still.

Nothing works in Portland.  I cannot be held responsible for these things.  Hell, my GPS tried to lure me into a dark alley, the signs to City Center LIE, and trains just randomly stop on crossings for 65 minutes.  I only ever found the airport by driving the 2.8 miles to your place, going up to Prescott, and taking the directions you gave me last time.

Even google maps lies.  I walked to a bar that was 7 blocks from the hotel, and I had to search for 45 minutes, because Google Maps told me to go the exact wrong direction.  And that was BEFORE I spent an entire day being unable to ask and recieve an answer even ONCE without fucking Mike interrupting to demonstrate to the guys (at the plant we were visiting) how well he understood their process.

Fortunately, there was this big river RIGHT THERE, and I threw his lunch in it.  This forced him to shut up and leave in a reasonable amount of time, thus preventing a homicide.

I got a bit lost finding that bar, too. And I allegedly know my way around.