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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Started by Doktor Howl, November 30, 2014, 09:29:14 PM

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Doktor Howl

November 30, 2014, 09:29:14 PM


Name:  Bearman  Age:  late 20s/early 30s.  Gender:  Male.  Race:  Native American Jew

The criminal known as "Bearman" is a major player in the underworld sport of illegal, unlicensed needlepoint competitions.  In these brutal bloodsports, octagenarian ladies embroider to the death, with the winner (ie, survivor) being awarded as much money as can be stuffed in a "family size" bag of Doritos.

Bearman was caught once in 2012, but he escaped his holding cell by means of bluffing with a fake gun he knitted, using modified toothbrushes and his cellmate's nerve ganglia.  It is supposed that the guards were more traumatized by the remains of his cellmate, more than frightened by the horrible floppy "gun".

Bearman is currently located somewhere in Houston, where rumors state that he is illegally teaching Texans how to read.
Molon Lube

hooplala

#1
November 30, 2014, 09:34:41 PM
I don't know.... I've seen photos of that knitted gun. It was... intimidating.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Ben Shapiro

#2
November 30, 2014, 09:35:17 PM
LOL YES
The Doritos, and the reading part.

EK WAFFLR

#3
November 30, 2014, 09:38:46 PM
You don't fuck with the bear.  :lulz:
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Doktor Howl

#4
November 30, 2014, 09:39:34 PM
Quote from: Hello Waffles on November 30, 2014, 09:38:46 PM
You don't fuck with the bear.  :lulz:

Yours is up.
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
November 30, 2014, 10:24:39 PM
"Illegally teaching Texans to read"  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Reginald Ret

#6
November 30, 2014, 11:43:15 PM
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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Ben Shapiro

#7
December 02, 2014, 11:58:19 PM
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