I've mostly been hanging out in Atheists vs Christians and to a lesser extent Atheists vs Theists Death Battle, and recently playfully describing myself as a Gozer worshipper (though it is generally known by people who have known me there for a while that I am a Discordian). Death Battle had a thread over the weekend urging people to do a rap battle sort of thing, so I came up with these two, which I am now saving here for posterity and for your enjoyment and critique.
Some of you may have confessions of faith
Or put stake in thinking it's a waste to worship a wraith
Some of you might be concerned about karma
Or fulfilling your dharma
Chanting hare Krishna or following Siddhartha
some of you might get a boost
out of Zarathustra
But if so we're not used to
hearing from you sir
Maybe it's true
That you are the few
That will make it through
A one forty four thousand JW
Maybe you and your bros and
Your sisters are chosen
The children of Goshen
And your last name is Rosen
Maybe it is fairly likely
You follow the JC
Catholic, orthodox, or heresy
Spending your Sunday hearing homilies
Or maybe the word to mom
Happens to be Islam
Getting your God on
Reading the Qur'an
maybe your gods are several
Maybe your boy's the devil
Maybe your gods are nil
Maybe none fits the bill
I don't care about all of your teachers
Because none of your preachers
Foresaw the main feature
Total destruction of all the sub-creatures
When Zuul and Vinz Clortho join as one
Your civilization is done
Gozer make you go numb
Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler has come
Hail Eris, All hail Discord
Ia can see the fnords if you get on board
the law of Eristic escalation Is just what the Doktor disordered
The more that the forces of order insist
The forces of disorder equally resist
Fighting the curse of Greyface
Through humor's embrace just have a taste
Of a hot dog, hold the bun
On a Friday night it's Erisian kinda fun
Who's your favorite Nephew if not me
Representing the Black Iron Prison contingency
When you're leaving your rants word salad ain't valid
It ain't deep, son, don't make no ballad
Your idea of order ain't no perception
Your idea of disorder misconception
Your view of chaos through the lens of self deception
Your reality grid is messing up the reception
Trying to cut the signal through the noise
Salvation through absurd, and playful skeptical joy
Hail Eris, All hail Discord
Ia can the see the fnords if you get on board
