Everyone will always be too late (2016)

[Sepia]

Every chance is the chance to die again, a better death, a cleaner death a newer one more befitting of our station
to be reborn again every time we make a choice, a life for a death, nothing for nothing or was it something for something who can remember now in this day and age, who can remember when something still meant something or was it just that part of my brain back then

Kill it I hear them say
the voices from the deep - in this time of contempt

His hatred is there still, hard to catch underneath the despair but still white and hot and cold and hard, the all of what love can show us but clearer, like moments of understanding, clarity, those three seconds when you see the sun rise and the acid is peaking and you are everything/you understand everything and you become it and it consumes you as you consume it a symbiosis or a parasite those holy seconds where all is revealed and even when youve moved away from hatred, youve moved away from love to somewhere something else where nothing that lives should live

Clear is his love but misplaced and unrequited, clear like looking at the sun through a frothing beer too early in the day, just the right time of year, we can still remember patti smiths easter and we hear her songs but this is where we sit, outside, thinking old thoughts while we have old conversations and air smells like it has been born again, everything is new and fresh, everything feels new and fresh, except us

He is here still, like her and the last one, reliving every sacred battle ever lied about in any book that sell because of embellishments and people think when its written down it is serious, it becomes more fact than lie by default but nothing is true, nothing is absolute and and when I think about it, I should have found something divine, should have found god or tarim or eris or the jolly fat man, should have found something but I found nothing and nothing found me perhaps because I clad myself in my armor too early, too young of age and too tender, too hot I should have been allowed to rest before they I cut me open

I should have found god and knelt and been at peace, I am the last monkey in the opening scene of 2001, walking around looking for the something, no bones breaking underneath my fingers and no next step found and the moral of those stories is always that I should stop looking for it, relax and be at peace but there is no peace here, we are all cattle in a giant slaughterhouse and it is getting mundane even for the people that see it and I can't wait to see what lies further in store for us


Breathe they say around BREATHE they shout at him as if the power of the masses can shout someone back to life BREATHE why BREATHE why draw breath in the abattoir at all why fight on, why BREATHE why breathe when you can wish for a machine that would work, if you showed us a country that was north korea except that it was like the south people would stand in line to dictator it through

Why do we do this, we do we delude ourselves to these extents, we know better we should know better we are better we used to be better I dont know what we are now, I dont know where we are now and it is scaring me, the situation is becoming me but perhaps Ive been too stoned to follow on that real trip where I grow up and become something more, more in control, more myself, more responsible, more adult more more smores

The pupae is slow
but see!
It is widening, do you see?
Can you see it there,
among the petals of its bloom
it grows out of its shell,
silent

[MithridatesXXIII]

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Please don't torture yourself. Please don't let your compassion kill you. Learn mercy and forgiveness, for yourself and human kind.

[Sepia]

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Please don't torture yourself. Please don't let your compassion kill you. Learn mercy and forgiveness, for yourself and human kind.

I like you, you're kind or seemingly atleast but I'm sorry, I can't and I won't. I'll torture myself most of the time because it's what drives me, I (the I) need torture to work, the captain of the meatship needs something lurking in the unterzee to work and I know mercy like I know forgiveness and they work on individuals but they do not work on concepts, abstracts or generalizations. I won't but it will but for me it's the only way to see magique, the only viewpoint where it becomes valid is inbetween these cracks, something is being created by you understanding what you are and what choices you want to make, freely by design and not because another limiting factor fucks you over. Then, understanding the price and again, Then, doing it.

but, thank you but I don't feel like I'm missing much, then again that might be the issue but again, fuckit I'm a human so fuckyou


you know?

[Sepia]

I'm sorry if that came over as aggressive

It's not

We're all good, aren't we?

[MithridatesXXIII]

I'm sorry if that came over as aggressive

It's not

We're all good, aren't we?

Of course. I think it's a lie that you learned that you need that to see the magic. The Other trained the other to turn your heart against itself, really. Martyrdom in the face of Absurdity is absurd.

[Sepia]

are these like the others in lost or more like the others in asoiaf?

[MithridatesXXIII]

are these like the others in lost or more like the others in asoiaf?

#2 if that's what you have going on. Move orthogonal not against. That'll clear a lot up immediately. You might even laugh if you weren't too tired and it's not too risky