General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[Pergamos]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

[The Wizard Joseph]

I always classify false and untrue information.

I see the "world's most interesting man" meme and the caption

I don't always classify false and untrue information

But when I do it's because I want you to find it.


... Not necessarily realated to Trump in context.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

I don't mean have another crusade or something and give it back to the christian weirdoes, I mean just get it away from the israelis and palestianians. Like if there was some way to get everyone out of there and then deploy some kind of area denial measure so they can't come back.

Also we should rebuild the Hadrian's temple of Jupiter

[The Wizard Joseph]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

I don't mean have another crusade or something and give it back to the christian weirdoes, I mean just get it away from the israelis and palestianians. Like if there was some way to get everyone out of there and then deploy some kind of area denial measure so they can't come back.

Also we should rebuild the Hadrian's temple of Jupiter

No. No I think we should not do that. Any of that. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Wow, that's definitely not piss the Palestinians off and certainly a sign of a great ambassador (or whatever the fuck he is).

How is he not the star attraction at the county fair punching booth?

BUILD IT AND THEY WILL COME.

I'd bethere with bells on. And brass knucks.

[Cain]

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2020-01-30/trump-s-peace-plan-leaves-palestinians-few-nonviolent-options?srnd=opinion

When the Camp David summit in July 2000 failed, my father asked me what I thought. I said Israelis would eventually enforce the highly circumscribed "statehood" Palestinians had just rejected. They would try to use their overwhelming power to gobble up large parts of the occupied territories, without absorbing the Palestinian population or allowing genuine Palestinian independence.

Until this week, they were blocked from doing this because the U.S. was a third signatory to the 1993 Declaration of Principles that prohibits unilateral annexation. Now David Friedman, the American ambassador to Israel is openly encouraging Israel to annex big chunks of Palestinian territory.

The Palestine Liberation Organization for decades sought to negotiate a two-state agreement with Israel. If the Israelis go ahead with this annexation and Washington perseveres with the new Trump policies, they will look like the biggest dupes imaginable. Hamas, which insists on armed struggle, will appear vindicated despite the continuous disasters their violence have wrought on Palestinian lives and fortunes.

How should Palestinians respond?

The clever move would be to thank Trump for his ideas, and welcome the opportunity to sit down with the other parties to discuss how, if at all, these new proposals fit with the formal and binding framework signed and agreed to in 1993. (Spoiler: they don't.)

If life were a debating society or courtroom, all Palestinians need do is hold up the signature page of the Declaration of Principles and win the argument every time.

But life isn't like that. For years Palestinians were harangued and punished by Israelis and Americans for supposedly violating the spirit of the Oslo agreements by "unilaterally" seeking greater international recognition. Now Israel and the U.S. have blithely wrecked those agreements, which evidently aren't sacred after all.

Besides, Palestinian politics won't allow the PLO to play that game. Their constituents are too outraged to be satisfied with debate-hall arguments, and Hamas will capitalize on any perceived PLO weakness.

Palestinians might be able to recuperate their diplomatic position if Israel doesn't go ahead with annexations in the coming weeks and Trump is defeated in November. Then it would be up to the Democrats to urgently restore sanity to U.S. policy. That is not impossible, but it requires Palestinians to simply wait and see what happens.

Beyond that, Palestinian options are highly limited. Unless the international community moves quickly to restore hope for genuine Palestinian statehood through diplomacy, the arguments against another major uprising will be crippled.

If it becomes obvious that Palestinians are indefinitely trapped as noncitizens in a formalized, apartheid-style greater Israel, and that the international community isn't going to rescue them from such a fate, they are essentially left with two choices.

In the abstract, what would make most sense would be to, in effect, declare themselves conscripted Israelis and fight through uncompromising but nonviolent means for full political as well as civil rights in the de facto greater Israel. But Palestinian nationalist narratives don't provide the basis for such a strategy. And there is little historical precedent for a people securing their rights in this way.

Armed struggle is the other option; Hamas and others will be clamoring for it. If Trump and Netanyahu get their way, Hamas will probably succeed at last in taking over the Palestinian movement. Or, to prevent that, the PLO itself will return to armed struggle.

The only thing that may give the Palestinians pause is the fear that any violence might invite disproportionate Israeli response, including a widening of the annexation horizon and mass expulsions of people from these areas.

But it's hard to imagine any people simply accepting the fate to which Trump and Netanyahu are sentencing the Palestinians. If my father were to ask me about the likeliest outcome of the latest "peace plan," I would tell him that violence is coming, if not right away then soon enough. Effective arguments against such a path, reckless and self-destructive as it is, are dwindling rapidly.

[MMIX]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

Don't discordians hate everybody? What PDS seems to mean is "Corpus Separatum", yanno, like the UN agreed to back in 1940 somewhat

[Cain]

Oh god

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/01/30/trump-dna-sought/

E. Jean Carroll, a New York-based writer who last summer accused President Trump of raping her in the 1990s, requested on Thursday that he submit a DNA sample to determine whether his genetic material is on the black coat dress she said she was wearing during the alleged assault.

Carroll's lawyers served notice to a Trump attorney Thursday, asking that Trump provide a sample for "analysis and comparison against unidentified male DNA present on the dress," the Associated Press first reported. Carroll's lawyers requested Trump provide the DNA sample on March 2 in Washington.

[Juana]

He's gonna refuse and it won't matter, will it?

[Cain]

Oh almost certainly.

But semen on a dress and an impeachment trial? This is something fucking with us.

[altered]

Eris wants credit for all the things she's done for us.

[Doktor Howl]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

I don't mean have another crusade or something and give it back to the christian weirdoes, I mean just get it away from the israelis and palestianians. Like if there was some way to get everyone out of there and then deploy some kind of area denial measure so they can't come back.

Also we should rebuild the Hadrian's temple of Jupiter

You are pretty much a geyser of really fucking bad ideas.

That has to be marketable.

[The Johnny]

Honestly I wish there was a viable solution where neither Israel nor Palestine gets Jerusalem. Like a "if you can't play nice with it, neither of you gets to have it" type thing.

Because it's not really anti-semitism unless you hate Arabs too...

I don't mean have another crusade or something and give it back to the christian weirdoes, I mean just get it away from the israelis and palestianians. Like if there was some way to get everyone out of there and then deploy some kind of area denial measure so they can't come back.

Also we should rebuild the Hadrian's temple of Jupiter

You are pretty much a geyser of really fucking bad ideas.

That has to be marketable.

Could work as a tour guide to the Animatronics Museum of Horrible Ideas - "And in this hallway to my right, is Ayn Rand, a thinker I cherish for how within her school of thought of objectivism and faith in reason got married with Nietzsches irrationalism and speculations about the blind and irrepresible will within us. Makes 100 fucking percent sense to me.

By the way, did I tell you guys about how Im opening a NAMBLA chapter on top of Hadrian's Wall? Oh I havent? WELL LISTEN UP."

[altered]

 

He's going to be an exhibit in that museum. His mummified body, holding a bottle of raw water and a copy of Atlas Shrugged, with a searchable archive of his collected internet postings on a panel outside of the glass case.

When you press a button, a halting Microsoft Sam TTS voice reads off a random sentence he has written. A nearby collection of paper cards encourages you to write down your favorites, so the tour guide can mock them for you at the end.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Eris wants credit for all the things she's done for us.

Eris wants to get into banking.