Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase

[Hoopla!]

I'm filling out a job application, and one of the questions is "Tell us what makes you unique. Try to be creative and say something that will catch our eye!"

Am I wrong in interpreting this as "Make up some outlandish shit about yourself"?  I mean, how could something factually accurate be "creative"?

I'm thinking of saying something like "I was born in a dirigible, and can communicate telepathically with creamed corn."

Go with "garmonbozia" instead.

[Brother Mythos]

My wife rescued a baby bird a couple of days ago. He had, apparently, fallen out of a nest his parents insisted upon building in the high end of one of our 2nd story rain gutters.

I didn’t think she would be able to save the little guy, as we’ve never had any success with this sort of thing in the past. But, our little guest is doing just fine! He’s fledgling size and has quite an appetite, as well as quite a voice. My wife is feeding him, moistened dry cat food, tiny pieces of fruit, hard-boiled egg yoke, and moistened bird suet on roughly an hourly basis. 

We think our little guest is a house wren, and we’re hoping we can release him to the backyard in a few more days.

[T̼̞̼ͅr̳̬̤̖̱͚̮̘̜̦̦i̲̩̝͕̣̲̪v̺͇̫̯͉͖͈͖͔̺̰̣͉̟̻̫̭i̦̖Q]

My wife rescued a baby bird a couple of days ago. He had, apparently, fallen out of a nest his parents insisted upon building in the high end of one of our 2nd story rain gutters.

I didn’t think she would be able to save the little guy, as we’ve never had any success with this sort of thing in the past. But, our little guest is doing just fine! He’s fledgling size and has quite an appetite, as well as quite a voice. My wife is feeding him, moistened dry cat food, tiny pieces of fruit, hard-boiled egg yoke, and moistened bird suet on roughly an hourly basis. 

We think our little guest is a house wren, and we’re hoping we can release him to the backyard in a few more days.

Cool!

[T̼̞̼ͅr̳̬̤̖̱͚̮̘̜̦̦i̲̩̝͕̣̲̪v̺͇̫̯͉͖͈͖͔̺̰̣͉̟̻̫̭i̦̖Q]

Not sure the mechanism, but if there's a bad storm at night, I can't have any carbs that are normally on the next day.  Stress maybe?  It's weird.

Like one piece of toast was too much today.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That does it.  Ima go listen to Linkin...Uh, wait.

[Cain]

POFP, physical security at most sites is a complete fucking joke.  You wouldn't believe the number of schools you can freely stroll into with a lanyard, fake ID, clipboard and cheap suit.  And I know for a fact that my co-workers do not actually check the credentials of site contractors before letting them in.  Hell, they let random weirdos in motorcycle helmets (AKA the organised criminal uniform) off the streets on a daily basis.  Sure most of them are delivery guys, but given the kind of students we have, one day they wont be.

[Junkenstein]

And if you think that's bad, you'd be terrified about some of the places I've wandered into with just a high-viz vest and "How're ye doing?"

[PoFP]

Yeah, the stories and concepts I was reading about are in The Art of Human Hacking by Christopher Hadnagy. He goes into so much detail, but it seems like a lot of this stuff is overkill in literally almost every situation. It seems like, after some thought, and reading some of your guys' descriptions, all you have to know how to do is not say anything blatantly suspicious and not be an asshole and you can get in anywhere you want. It seems like this book applies only to cases where you're trying to break into an actually secured facility. Based on the detail and meticulous methodology, the facility would likely have to be owned by an intelligence agency for this book not to be a waste.



Hell, speaking of school security, I'm on the University of Cincinnati campus all the time, and as long as you're not black (Think Dubose-Tensing case) and there are no sports events going on, you can pretty much go wherever, say whatever, and do whatever you want. When the school isn't in use, literally every building and every room is essentially open to the public. There are no restrictions, and no one is ever checking anyone's access. There are more UC police officers patrolling the surrounding black neighborhoods than there are on the campus itself. I don't know what makes your students so important that they require a dedicated security system, but they've made it clear that they don't give a shit about the safety of students here

And the DORM "Security Measures?" Shit's student-run. Some snobby math major sits at a desk by the front door 2 days out of the week and maybe asks to see your Driver's license (What the fuck does that even do exactly? "YOU CAN GO AHEAD. YOUR FACE MATCHES THIS PICTURE YOU HANDED ME.") when she's not scrolling Facebook on her laptop or complaining of boredom to her friend on the phone. (Hypothetical individual, it's not the same person every time.)

This country's security is run by failures at every level in every industry. Makes me even more excited to enter the security industry. Any advice on where to start? What college courses you recommend or suggest I avoid?

[Cain]

It doesn't get any better with professional government bodies.  I spent about 40 minutes wandering around a military base once, while I was waiting to get interviewed (company was not located on the base).

Honestly, security is a state of mind and I don't think there are any good courses specifically on it.  I took courses on international security, game theory, international strategy and (of course) a shit-ton of terrorism.  But even before that, I taught self-defence classes.  And I've read a shit ton of spy memoirs, intelligence manuals and military strategy guides that have no doubt also helped to shape my outlook.  I've no doubt the mindset can be taught...I've just not seen anyone do it very successfully.

[LMNO]

Is it not written in the Chao te Ching, "a nice tie opens many doors"?

Yes, it is. Chapter 27.

[PoFP]

It doesn't get any better with professional government bodies.  I spent about 40 minutes wandering around a military base once, while I was waiting to get interviewed (company was not located on the base).

Honestly, security is a state of mind and I don't think there are any good courses specifically on it.  I took courses on international security, game theory, international strategy and (of course) a shit-ton of terrorism.  But even before that, I taught self-defence classes.  And I've read a shit ton of spy memoirs, intelligence manuals and military strategy guides that have no doubt also helped to shape my outlook.  I've no doubt the mindset can be taught...I've just not seen anyone do it very successfully.

Ah, thank you for the advice! Would you be able to provide access to any digital forms of these resources?

Feel free to PM me links if that's a preferred medium. Or if you know where I can buy/rent any similar resources, that would also be helpful.

Also, no worries if any/all are limited access. I understand some of the stuff you work with has to be kept under wraps. I just figured I'd ask. Anything I can get a hold of is helpful.

[Cain]

When I'm back in the UK, I can certainly put together some resources for you.

[PoFP]

When I'm back in the UK, I can certainly put together some resources for you.

That would be much appreciated. Thank you!

[Eater of Clowns]

Is it not written in the Chao te Ching, "a nice tie opens many doors"?

Yes, it is. Chapter 27.

 

[LMNO]

Verily, the words of the non-prophets are scribbled on the bathroom walls of the sub-universe.


Or something like that.