The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

[Doktor Howl]

Things I have learned in the last 60 days:

1.  The deputy chief marshal for the Southwest does not like being called "Fred the security guard."

2.  The forestry officials don't like being asked why they're even IN Arizona.  They get really defensive about it.

3.  SMEs aren't.

[Doktor Howl]

Today, at work:

BAS (building automation system) SME (subject matter expert):  "Why are these UV lights on the BAS system and not the lighting system?"

Me:  "Because they're not part of the lighting system, they're part of the HVAC system."

SME:  "They are lights."

Me:  "They are not.  You can't even see when they're on."

SME:  "They are still lights.  They should turn off when all the other lights turn off."

Me:  "They are not lights, they are anti-microbial systems.  They kill germs as those germs pass through the HVAC system.  If the lighting system turns them on and off, they could in theory be turned off while the HVAC is running, and we'd be spraying covid all over the place."

SME:  "Just put them on the lighting system."

Me:  "Okay, as soon as you explain to the federal magistrates that we're going to pump coronavirus into their chambers."

SME:  "WHY ARE YOU BEING DIFFICULT?"

Me:  "Why are you being stupid?"

SME"  "..."

Me:  "That's an alarming shade of red you got going on there, dude."

[Doktor Howl]

Programming voice modules.

If 1800 < time < 0500
If urinal flush module = 1
volume=100
run GET OUT.mp3
endif
endif

Put voice module above ceiling risers in federal marshals' bathroom.

Now we wait.

[Doktor Howl]

Godsmack:

Put dead gas regulator on floor to take to plumbers for IDing replacement.
Drive through border patrol checkpoint.
Every dog in every lane loses their mind and tries to get into my car.
"Sir, please move into the stop lane.  VERY SLOWLY."
20 minutes of un-air conditioned glory later, CBP asshole realizes the regulator is what's driving the dogs nuts.
Sadface CBP assholes tell me to stop humming "white lines," send me on my way.

[Doktor Howl]

Fred the Security Guard*:  "So tell me how you did it."

Me:  "Did what?"

FTSG:  "Made one of my guys piss all over his leg in the bathroom."

Me:  "I'm quite sure I don't control how your guys piss."

FTSG:  "Har-de-har-har.  You know, the whole 'ghost voice' thing?"

Me:  "Hmm.  Supernatural things aren't covered by our contract, so if you need a ghost removed, that will have to be quoted as additional labor."

FTSG:  "Who said I want it removed?  None of those guys have slept on the job ever since."

Me:  "So you want me to leave the ghost?"

FTSG:  "Yes.  I just want to know how you did it."

Me:  "My facilities voodoo is strong."

FTSG:  "So if I wanted MORE ghosts..."

Me:  "I'll send you a quote."

FTSG:  "You realize how silly this conversation is, right?"

Me:  "This is how Science gets done to people."




*  Fred the Security Guard insists that his proper title is "Deputy Chief US Marshal," and his name isn't Fred, But you know how cops lie.

[Doktor Howl]

So the new project has us counting lost man-years due to the pandemic (We're just past 19,000,000 man-years of knowledge/production, and we've really only done the simple stuff), but the really NEAT part is that between that and working with <gubmint org>, I am ALSO developing a real idea of how much actual communication occurs.

The answer, you may have guessed, is "Jack Shit."

This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."  And just like all the plebs, the decision-makers have to sort out the non-information/disinformation before they can make a decision, and that sorting is impossible in practice.

Nobody run Bartertown.  Bartertown functions in the same way a SCADA-operated system does if the front end crashes; it just keeps doing the same thing regardless of any changes to the situation.  Errors begin to multiply, and since nobody can do anything about those errors, everyone just pretends that the situation is normal and has always been like this; where "this" means "the current buggy situation with today's error values added".

Think of it as an anthill with a disabled queen, except ants don't bitch as much.  They just mindlessly keep doing whatever they were last instructed to do.

The best part of this is when I fuck off and visit debatepolitics.com and listen to fucking waterheads explain that some large, shadowy cabal controls society. 

No, you fucking morons, nobody controls society.  Some people THINK they do, but even they can't get anything done.

Nobody is driving the train, everyone's drunk in the club car.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.

[Doktor Howl]

*looks around*
No commentary on this? That must have been some pandemic.

It's more that PD is a combination scratchpad/museum now.  We have about 5 regular posters, by which I mean "posts once in a week."

Also, some folks aren't allowed to talk to me because you know.

[altered]

Somehow, I'm not surprised that this is how it is behind the scenes. It fits my image of the world. Also, it sorta explains why accelerationist weirdoes and fascists are everywhere.

[Doktor Howl]

Somehow, I'm not surprised that this is how it is behind the scenes. It fits my image of the world. Also, it sorta explains why accelerationist weirdoes and fascists are everywhere.

There is a certain type of person that responds to challenges by trying to make things worse.

It's a form of cowardice.

[altered]

Yeah. Also, the mindset of that sort of meathead is "If no one's in charge, I should be in charge." Nevermind that benevolent dictatorships only last as long as it takes for some yokel to catch Glorious Leader on a bad day, they read a book by some teeth-for-brains chud like Jordan Peterson and think they are the big strong man to solve it all, by golly.

[chaotic neutral observer]

This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."

How is that measured?  Does the reduction in information flow appear to be an artifact of technological change, cultural change, or some combination?

(I'm quite cognizant that making it easier for people to ask questions results in a higher proportion of stupid questions.)

[Doktor Howl]

This has sort of split me and my group off onto a tangent, and we have proven there was more information moved between government and NGO departments prior to email than there is today...When measured as "useful, actionable information."

How is that measured?  Does the reduction in information flow appear to be an artifact of technological change, cultural change, or some combination?

Entirely cultural, because...

(I'm quite cognizant that making it easier for people to ask questions results in a higher proportion of stupid questions.)
[/quote]

This seems to be the prime mover.

Allowing dumb people to move information was never a good idea, and allowing them to do it easily and at will was really, really a bad plan.

I get about 87 emails a day.  Deciding which half dozen contain actual information takes a couple of hours out of my day, all told.  Now, in the old days, you could decide whether or not to read a memo based on who sent it to you.  You don't know if Barney in the next office wrote the email or if he's forwarding something from someone that matters.

[Doktor Howl]

Phone just rang.

James:  "Hey, boss, I just figured out how to make the grinder chew things up 3 times as fast."

Me:  "It's 8:30 at night.  Tell me you're not at work."

James:  "No, it just came to me as I was taking a shit."

Me:  "That's where the best ideas come from.  What's your plan?"

James:  "I have a VFD left over from the other project, and I can set up a feedback loop where it starts out really slow so it doesn't clog, and then the increased amp draw ramps up the VFD so the bones don't jam the grinder.  We can literally grind as fast as we can jam things into the hopper."

Me:  "That is pretty good.  In fact, that is excellent.  I will drive down to Nogales tomorrow and we'll try it out."

*hangs up*

Jenn:  "What was that all about?"

Me:  "Doing science on things a full order of magnitude faster."

Jenn: "That's nice.  Would you like a chai?"

[Faust]

I did a double take when I got to "Bones", cant fault that knowledge of his process control though, takes someone who really loves their system to think of ways to improve them like