Author Topic: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD  (Read 7423 times)

Doktor Howl

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2019, 05:24:04 pm »
 An Open Letter to Pete Buttigieg

Dear Mayor of South Bend,

Hello, Pete? Is this Pete? Hah, I was just sitting back thinking of you and touching something. Not gonna tell ya *what* I'm touching, and I'm not gonna tell ya what I'm touchin' it *with*, but know that you are always in my thoughts.

Anyway, I was thinking back to 2016, back when Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump. You remember that? Of course you do. It set this country back 50 years, and that's not just for those "coastal elites" you seem fond of bitching about. And a few things happened.

First, all the LGBT people that foolishly felt comfortable coming out during the last administration sure got theirs, didn't they? Transgender folk getting booted out of the military. Dominionist Christians crawling out from under every wet rock, a few quiet murders, and also Nazis walking around in broad daylight. But at least you don't have to feel *ignored* anymore, right?

Second, the apparatus of government has been damaged, probably beyond repair. Now? Ho ho! There are no brakes on this train, and the Lumpy Orange Thing in the white house is deliberately speeding up for the curves. And while I would normally be all about that kinda "taking it to the wall" mentality, it occurs to me that this is where I keep all of my STUFF.

The rule of law has been suborned. Consequences are for the little people. The bloated sack that currently stains the oval office does whatever he pleases, and there you sit, saying "At least he wasn't saying American was already great, like Hillary did."

Yes, Pete, you said that with your bare face hanging out. You literally said that this insane mess is better than what we had before.

Now why would you say a thing like that?

Because you weren't crazy about the idea of a *woman* running for president? Or that maybe the eight years previous to the election bothered you for some reason. You're not *racist*, BUT you just didn't feel *comfortable*? Or maybe you just can't argue with a good chicken sandwich? Imagine, selling your own minority group out for second-rate fast food.

In any case, Pete, you have clearly stated where you stand...And I just don't have time for that. Or for you.

And I'm not even a "coastal elite."

Venomously yours,
Hamish Howl
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Ecclesiastes 2:14, JACKASS.

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2019, 10:04:32 pm »
When I read the news articles about him he mentally went in the same bucket I put all the self-hating lgbt folks in: the one we take to the curb to be buried in a lonesome place miles from home

He’s put his name behind the shit, and he’s going to get his the second the jackboots come for the rest of us, and he won’t get the satisfaction of knowing he was right, or that he’s suffering among friends

He’s going to be despised and kicked while he’s down and no one will protect him, because when he had the opportunity to fucking PRETEND to put a sliver of protection for us out there, he bowed to the big man instead

And in the world where the jackboots are removed and burned before they can turn our way, we will remember when he sold us up the river for headpats and poor baby and fried chicken and he will be a pariah as he deserves anyway

He can go over in the shame corner with whatsherfuck the rich white conservative transwoman celebrity, Milo fuckstick, bi/lesbian terfs and all the other fucking traitors and they can all choke on my living shit together
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

Al Qədic

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #32 on: April 03, 2019, 11:04:14 pm »
He can go over in the shame corner with whatsherfuck the rich white conservative transwoman celebrity, Milo fuckstick, bi/lesbian terfs and all the other fucking traitors and they can all choke on my living shit together
Don't forget about the truscum; I swear, the assholes of any group love to whine about other people Doing It Wrong™. Also, regarding Ms. Whatsherfuck, I really hope she gets supplanted by some actually nice, thoughtful person as "that one trans woman America tolerates and actually kinda likes." Her coming out and publicity felt nice at first, then she took a nosedive real fast. Just...we really need a better person to represent us in the eyes of all the troglodytes watching in confusion and abject horror, you know?
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #33 on: April 03, 2019, 11:13:08 pm »
He can go over in the shame corner with whatsherfuck the rich white conservative transwoman celebrity, Milo fuckstick, bi/lesbian terfs and all the other fucking traitors and they can all choke on my living shit together
Don't forget about the truscum; I swear, the assholes of any group love to whine about other people Doing It Wrong[emoji769]. Also, regarding Ms. Whatsherfuck, I really hope she gets supplanted by some actually nice, thoughtful person as "that one trans woman America tolerates and actually kinda likes." Her coming out and publicity felt nice at first, then she took a nosedive real fast. Just...we really need a better person to represent us in the eyes of all the troglodytes watching in confusion and abject horror, you know?

Yes

To the whole thing, you are correct
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #34 on: April 03, 2019, 11:30:15 pm »
In fact there’s a special hell for transmedicalists

I believe that total phenotype control to the limits of feasibility should be a human right. If other people don’t have the right to stick a knife in you, they shouldn’t have the right to keep you from sticking tattoos in yourself, replacing your left arm with a tentacle, or implanting fur in your skin and getting skeletal reconstructive surgery to become your fursona

Why the fuck should anyone have the right to say what you do to yourself is illegal, it’s you and not them and if I want to implant skunk scent glands in my forearms why the fuck should anyone get to stop me, if I want to replace my lower jaw with a completely artificial cybernetic food processing implement then people will just need to get used to the horrible whirring sound when I am talking and the way I destroy silverware, fuck them

If you’re a transmedicalist you believe that bodily autonomy stops at an arbitrary line, so fuck you
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #35 on: April 03, 2019, 11:32:12 pm »
That’s the general you, not you specifically, of course (just by reminding me of it you are excluded from that “you”, even )


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #36 on: April 04, 2019, 08:24:18 pm »
ok but maybe don't do the skunk thing

Doktor Howl

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #37 on: April 05, 2019, 02:10:05 am »
ok but maybe don't do the skunk thing

QG is obviously delirious and you should do the skunk thing.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Ecclesiastes 2:14, JACKASS.

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #38 on: April 05, 2019, 02:18:26 am »
This is how I know you can be trusted.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

Al Qədic

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #39 on: April 05, 2019, 02:40:01 am »
This is how I know you can be trusted.
With a face like that, how can there not be trust? :lulz:
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #40 on: April 05, 2019, 02:53:52 am »
This is how I know you can be trusted.
With a face like that, how can there not be trust? :lulz:

Roger had a face kinda like that, and we had to kill him to save his immortal soul, then bury him ten feet under the bedrock of Tucson with a stake through his gonads (the guy who did that died horribly later of probably unrelated exotic infections) to stop him from just showing up at all the fucking parties anyway.* And you can’t even trust that he’ll stay there still, we keep tripping over decomposing fingers.

Trust and facial features are unrelated.



* There’s urban legends that his crusty, inflamed ghost manifests at these parties by way of unnatural STIs, his payback for the Perma-Snub. These are just legends, and I’m not just saying this because I haven’t been chosen as the infectee yet.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

Doktor Howl

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #41 on: April 05, 2019, 03:46:35 am »
This is how I know you can be trusted.
With a face like that, how can there not be trust? :lulz:

Roger had a face kinda like that, and we had to kill him to save his immortal soul, then bury him ten feet under the bedrock of Tucson with a stake through his gonads (the guy who did that died horribly later of probably unrelated exotic infections) to stop him from just showing up at all the fucking parties anyway.* And you can’t even trust that he’ll stay there still, we keep tripping over decomposing fingers.

Trust and facial features are unrelated.



* There’s urban legends that his crusty, inflamed ghost manifests at these parties by way of unnatural STIs, his payback for the Perma-Snub. These are just legends, and I’m not just saying this because I haven’t been chosen as the infectee yet.

That gobshite still owes me $10.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Ecclesiastes 2:14, JACKASS.

Doktor Howl

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #42 on: August 28, 2019, 06:33:42 pm »
And Tulsi Gabbard's campaign is potato, alongside Gillibrand's. 
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Ecclesiastes 2:14, JACKASS.

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #43 on: August 28, 2019, 07:24:28 pm »
I will shed no tears over either of them, but especially Tulsi “I am literally just Trump in a neoliberal-friendly package” Gabbard is a loss to toast about. Break out the booze and all that.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

Doktor Howl

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Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« Reply #44 on: August 28, 2019, 07:28:25 pm »
I will shed no tears over either of them, but especially Tulsi “I am literally just Trump in a neoliberal-friendly package” Gabbard is a loss to toast about. Break out the booze and all that.

Yep. Steyer might make it, Gillibrand MAYBE, but the rest of the small fry are toast.

Except for Yang, as the proudboys are all donating $5 to him, so he is making the individual donor threshold.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Ecclesiastes 2:14, JACKASS.