Author Topic: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.  (Read 2230 times)

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Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« on: July 23, 2019, 09:40:27 am »

The Golden Apple of the Middle East, "To the prettiest one" written on its side. It has and WILL start the War of
Troy over and over again until the end of time, or at least until the first major nuclear catastrophe.
No wonder the region Jerusalem inhabits is known as the most unstable in the world through the most of the citys
existence. The land around is soaked in blood, and the souls of all the raped, tortured, and murdered people haunt
the inhabitants of today to the point of madness. If nothing is done, Jerusalem will surely burrow its way straight
to the hell.

   That's where we come in. As discordians, we have as good claim to Jerusalem as any other religion, if not more.
So we gonna scheme the city under our control (How? I don't fucking know, do I look like a fucking strategy nerd?),
and use the power for good of humanity and profits.

When Jerusalem is ours, we are going to enslave most of the population with modern mind control chips.
Then they are going to begin the most huge construction project in the whole human history. Half of the slaves
make the city waterproof and floating, the other half dig a city sized canal all the way to the sea. After Jerusalem
has set sail, it is going to somehow end up landing in Antarctica, and we make tv history by documenting the first
massive scale penguin war.

You in?
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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2019, 10:08:25 am »
P.S. the Dome of Rock('n'roll) even LOOKS like a golden apple.
FFS LOOK AT IT!
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Fujikoma

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2019, 01:55:08 pm »
You're right, we have just as much right to claim the holy land. I may be a christian but I will claim this city in the name of Eris.

Fujikoma

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2019, 02:01:23 pm »
If we are to be proper antagonists then it's about damn time we started acting the part. We're not just going to take Jerusalem, we're going to rename it. Its new name will be hotdog city, possibly the most disgusting thing I can come up with on a whim.

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2019, 05:47:56 pm »
I don't give a shit about the holy land, I just want the city. Deadline is a Monday in the next week.
Not telling you which one. Prove you are a conspiratory network not to be meddled with.

Like any proper conspiracy would.


e: (I claim this as the official Iran thread if/when/after/before/until the SHTF)
« Last Edit: July 23, 2019, 05:50:55 pm by Frontside Back »
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PopeTom

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2019, 05:59:34 pm »
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2019, 06:07:19 pm »
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
We can move Jerusalem to CA
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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2019, 07:18:34 pm »
Jerusalem is, like, an attitude, man.
           /
 :hippie:

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2019, 07:54:45 pm »
No. Literally, brick by brick in mail.
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Al Qədic

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2019, 08:09:47 pm »
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
The Brunswick Shrine ain't even a bowling alley anymore. Well, not the one in Whittier, anyway. Pretty sure there are a few others in California though.
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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2019, 08:10:19 pm »
No. Literally, brick by brick in mail.

Like how the old London Bridge was moved to Arizona?

SOLD!
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2019, 08:11:41 pm »
Do we really need another holy site?

Heck I've yet to go bowling in Whittier, CA despite constantly planning to do so.
The Brunswick Shrine ain't even a bowling alley anymore. Well, not the one in Whittier, anyway. Pretty sure there are a few others in California though.

Anywhere can be a bowling alley so long as you have a bowling ball to throw at stuff.

Like Sink but for people not near any body of water.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2019, 09:18:34 pm »
Ok scratch everything,!¨¨

What is the max size of a bowling ball you can construct in Earth-gravity?

Architects? Physics?
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PopeTom

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2019, 07:59:04 pm »
“Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. ” ― Archimedes
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

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Re: Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2019, 08:16:48 pm »
“Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will make the world a bowling ball. ” ― Archimedes
There still has to be some material limits. Remember you gotta construct the pins too to have any good time.
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