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Started by Junkenstein, July 09, 2020, 06:38:37 PM

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Chelagoras The Boulder

Hey, update on my earlier more unhinged post above
*I was going a bit nuts at the time, but I'm working on it
*New job is working out so far, least shitty experience I've ever had working retail
*Friend's new philosophy is pretty interesting actually. Wouldn't mind posting some of it here to see what y'all think.
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on August 25, 2022, 01:06:04 AM
Hey, update on my earlier more unhinged post above
*I was going a bit nuts at the time, but I'm working on it
*New job is working out so far, least shitty experience I've ever had working retail
*Friend's new philosophy is pretty interesting actually. Wouldn't mind posting some of it here to see what y'all think.

Go for it, but be warned that the barstool is still in full effect.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

So this doing urbanism instead of weapons has been far more interesting, even if it goes against the grain to make things better for stupid primates.
Molon Lube

altered

Update.

Something has been seriously wrong with my brain for the past 3 weeks. I've been depressed, paranoid, my RSD has been worse than ever, and I had a full two days back in the low of Feb-April. Dissociation is a constant to the point that I remember ten non-contiguous minutes of Tuesday (I remember waking up from a fugue state while at the doctor's office), and nothing of Monday at all. This is the first day I've been able to think clearly enough to make a coherent thought that isn't entirely reactive or dissociative in nature. For the plurals/plural-awares: my entire system has been in fucking stasis for like 2 weeks, and until Lor and Nikki woke up tonight, I was having sincere doubts that I was still plural at all because I couldn't even sense the other members and our headspaces all vanished too. And I had a particular episode this past Saturday where I was unable to understand spoken language (I heard words but they didn't cohere into sentences) for an hour on VC with the beetle-swarm-partner (don't ask, or do ask and receive information that you cannot understand).

Sum total: YIKES! Brain is fucking broken!

We were able to rule out stroke and aneurysm through blood pressure alone (smoker with high cholesterol having a panic attack while their BP is being taken STILL ending up with a BP of 120/72 has a pretty impressive cardiovascular system), though I also independently ruled out stroke through lack of vision symptoms AND unilateral symptoms. The remaining options are tumor, chemical, infection and early-onset dementia, all of which are possible.

My polycule has been amazingly supportive through this nightmare (probably because we have someone who has had a stroke, someone who is dealing with brain cancer, and a plural-autistic-inhuman-BPD-bitch like me) but it's still terrifying and I'm still worried that my distance and pushing them away might have created rifts.

I'm basically putting this out here as kind of a record that I actually did have this moment of lucidity tonight. It really happened, even if tomorrow it's back into the soup. So.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

chaotic neutral observer

The apple tree produced waaay too many apples this year, so I decided to try making cider.

Now I've got a bucket full of science bubbling in the basement, I'm worrying if I did an adequate job of decontamination, and the whole house smells of apple.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

LMNO

Hi, y'all.

I left Dark Finance.

I'm a cook.

Last band broke up.

New band is cool: https://badvrb.bandcamp.com/album/ep1

Shall I mark all as READ?

Love,
LMNO

Suu

Quote from: LMNO on September 14, 2022, 09:38:57 PM
Hi, y'all.

I left Dark Finance.

I'm a cook.

Last band broke up.

New band is cool: https://badvrb.bandcamp.com/album/ep1

Shall I mark all as READ?

Love,
LMNO

YOU'LL BE FUCKED FOREVER
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Suu

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 14, 2022, 01:14:27 AM
The apple tree produced waaay too many apples this year, so I decided to try making cider.

Now I've got a bucket full of science bubbling in the basement, I'm worrying if I did an adequate job of decontamination, and the whole house smells of apple.

Did you add yeast, or are you rolling au naturale? The results of the latter can be very, very surprising and not always in the best way.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Cain

Quote from: LMNO on September 14, 2022, 09:38:57 PM
Hi, y'all.

I left Dark Finance.

I'm a cook.

Last band broke up.

New band is cool: https://badvrb.bandcamp.com/album/ep1

Shall I mark all as READ?

Love,
LMNO

Only if you don't want an update on the cat's penis.

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Suu on September 14, 2022, 11:01:53 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 14, 2022, 01:14:27 AM
The apple tree produced waaay too many apples this year, so I decided to try making cider.

Now I've got a bucket full of science bubbling in the basement, I'm worrying if I did an adequate job of decontamination, and the whole house smells of apple.

Did you add yeast, or are you rolling au naturale? The results of the latter can be very, very surprising and not always in the best way.

I started it au naturel, but after a couple days without any obvious fizzly noises, thought better of it, and added a packet of SafCider which I bought from Likor Shak. I didn't sterilize the existing solution, so, for good or ill, there's an indeterminate mixture of wild yeast and saccharomyces bayanus living in there now.

This is less a well-controlled experiment, and more the "let's try some things and see what happens" kind of science.

I kept back a good quantity of apples, in the anticipation that my first attempt might turn out badly.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Suu

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 14, 2022, 11:53:15 PM
Quote from: Suu on September 14, 2022, 11:01:53 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 14, 2022, 01:14:27 AM
The apple tree produced waaay too many apples this year, so I decided to try making cider.

Now I've got a bucket full of science bubbling in the basement, I'm worrying if I did an adequate job of decontamination, and the whole house smells of apple.

Did you add yeast, or are you rolling au naturale? The results of the latter can be very, very surprising and not always in the best way.

I started it au naturel, but after a couple days without any obvious fizzly noises, thought better of it, and added a packet of SafCider which I bought from Likor Shak. I didn't sterilize the existing solution, so, for good or ill, there's an indeterminate mixture of wild yeast and saccharomyces bayanus living in there now.

This is less a well-controlled experiment, and more the "let's try some things and see what happens" kind of science.

I kept back a good quantity of apples, in the anticipation that my first attempt might turn out badly.

I have been brewing since 2008, and have had ONE successful batch of cider. Just one. The natural yeast one created bombs when bottled, and it took a full year cold crashing in the fridge to be drinkable. Made a hell of a pork marinade, though.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Suu on September 15, 2022, 04:11:00 AM
I have been brewing since 2008, and have had ONE successful batch of cider. Just one. The natural yeast one created bombs when bottled, and it took a full year cold crashing in the fridge to be drinkable. Made a hell of a pork marinade, though.

Oh yeah? Well, I have eight days of brewing experience, and have also consulted extensively with a distinguished Italian winemaker, who considered my cider-making aspirations to be highly dubious, and suggested I might be better off using sugar and yeast to grow vodka in a bucket.

Then he sold me a bucket with a hole in the lid, a rubber bung, an airlock, and some sodium metabisulphite for $15.

I guess I shouldn't be too optimistic.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Suu

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 15, 2022, 02:42:25 PM
Quote from: Suu on September 15, 2022, 04:11:00 AM
I have been brewing since 2008, and have had ONE successful batch of cider. Just one. The natural yeast one created bombs when bottled, and it took a full year cold crashing in the fridge to be drinkable. Made a hell of a pork marinade, though.

Oh yeah? Well, I have eight days of brewing experience, and have also consulted extensively with a distinguished Italian winemaker, who considered my cider-making aspirations to be highly dubious, and suggested I might be better off using sugar and yeast to grow vodka in a bucket.

Then he sold me a bucket with a hole in the lid, a rubber bung, an airlock, and some sodium metabisulphite for $15.

I guess I shouldn't be too optimistic.

SCIENCE!
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: LMNO on September 14, 2022, 09:38:57 PM
Hi, y'all.

I left Dark Finance.

:crankey:

QuoteI'm a cook.

You were already a cook.  You made all kinds of frou-frou yet delicious looking things and posted them.  For years.

QuoteLast band broke up.

:crankey:

QuoteNew band is cool: https://badvrb.bandcamp.com/album/ep1

:banana:

QuoteShall I mark all as READ?

Only if ya wanna be FUCKED FOREVER.
Molon Lube

altered

Today: finally found the source of my degrading joints and personality damage. You cannot be prepared for this shit.

You really cannot.

Ready?

I got scurvy.

I'm not even fucking joking. I have apparently had zero vitamin C in my diet for two fucking months, excepting one or two individual MEALS across the entire time span. I looked it up with increasing "what the fuck" in my thoughts. What fucking meals don't come with basic nutrients in them? All of mine, apparently.

I'm going to get some vitamin C supplements. Poverty is LITERALLY killing me with 18th century bullshit. But yeah that's what that was about.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.