THA CHEF MANIFESTO, OR EULOGY FOR THA "GOOD" REV.

[Chef]

THE GOOD REVEREND IS DEAD.  THE POOR LITTLE BASTARD JUST CURLED UP AND DIED.

WHO DIDN'T SEE *THIS* COMING?

HE'S BEEN DETERIORATING FOR QUITE SOME TIME, HASN'T HE?  HE NEVER WAS RIGHT AFTER THE ELECTION, AND NEVER COULD RECONCILE HIMSELF TO THE DIVIDE IN AMERICA.  THEN, THE LAST STRAW...BETRAYED BY SOMEONE THE POOR LITTLE TARD THOUGHT WAS HIS FRIEND.  WHAT A FUCKING MORON.

DONE LAUGHING?  GOOD, THEN WE CAN CONTINUE:

THE "GOOD" REV THOUGHT, MORON THAT HE WAS, THAT HIS CUTE LITTLE SCREEDS COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  WHAT THE IDIOT DIDN'T REALIZE WAS THAT WHILE HE (AND ONE OR TWO MORONS LIKE HIM) WAS SERMONIZING, EVERYONE ELSE WAS EITHER JABBERING ABOUT COOKIES AND PIE, OR TRYING TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER.

NOW HE'S GONE...AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT *THAT* MEANS.

CHEF IS FREE AT LAST.  NOW, WE'LL HAVE SOME *REAL* FUN.  WHERE THE "GOOD" REV TRIED TO ENCOURAGE WEIRDNESS, CHEF DIESEL WILL "REWARD" IT.  FOR EXAMPLE:

1.  INCITING DRUNKEN REDNEX IN PUBS TO BEAT UP ANYONE THAT LOOKS DIFFERENT.  THE GOOD REVEREND DEVELOPED NICE SKILLS LIKE THESE, AND NOW *I* CAN FINALLY PUT THEM TO THEIR PROPER USE.

2.  PURCHASING COPIES OF THE MOST OUTRE GAMING PUBLICATIONS, AND SENDING THEM TO LOCAL CHURCHES ALONG WITH OUTRAGED LETTERS ABOUT OUR CHILDREN BEING SUBVERTED BY SATANISTS.  THE ADDRESS OF THE LOCAL GAME SHOP, AND THE NAMES OF THE OWNER(S) WOULD HAVE TO BE INCLUDED, OF COURSE.

3.  WRITING THREATENING LETTERS ON "OFFICIAL" MOVEON.ORG LETTERHEADS.

4.  TORMENTING ANY OF MY EMPLOYEES THAT DON'T BEHAVE LIKE TOTAL NEANDRATHALS.  THE DRUNKEN, WIFE-BEATING CROWD WILL BE GRADUALLY PROMOTED TO FOREMAN SLOTS.  THINK OF THE HILARITY!

AND SO ON.  HOW'S *THAT* FOR SOME "JAKERY", MY LITTLE FREAKS?  THIS IS GOING TO BE A REALLY GOOD YEAR, I THINK.

NOW, BEFORE THA CHEF GOES, I'D LIKE TO EXTEND A LITTLE THANKS TO MALAUL, WHO HELPED MAKE ALL THIS POSSIBLE.  WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT SUCH A LITTLE GESTURE WOULD MAKE THE POOR LITTLE FUCKWAD GO UNDER?  TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION, I WILL BE GIVING THE URL TO THIS WEBSITE TO THE TROLL ARMY AT FUCKED COMPANY.  I HOPE NOBODY *BAD* FINDS IT.

THE RENEGADE SUBGENIUS IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE THE ROGUE SUBGENIUS.

CHEF D,
IN THA DRIVER'S SEAT.  FOREVER.

[Malaul]

yup
it was all my fault
defintely

[Chef]

yup
it was all my fault
defintely

DON'T BE SO FULL OF YOURSELF, MEAT PUPPET.  YOU WERE JUST THE LAST STRAW.

NOW, BE A DEAR, AND LOCK THIS THREAD, SPERM RECEPTACLE.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

yup
it was all my fault
defintely

And IIIII helped
PS for you young'uns, that's from an old Shake and Bake commercial

[Chef]

yup
it was all my fault
defintely

And IIIII helped
PS for you young'uns, that's from an old Shake and Bake commercial

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

[Malaul]

NOW, BEFORE THA CHEF GOES, I'D LIKE TO EXTEND A LITTLE THANKS TO MALAUL, WHO HELPED MAKE ALL THIS POSSIBLE.

Im not full of myself, Im just going with what you said
and there is no need for name callin Roger
I was just trying to calm things down a little
you guys where both being silly

[Chef]

NOW, BEFORE THA CHEF GOES, I'D LIKE TO EXTEND A LITTLE THANKS TO MALAUL, WHO HELPED MAKE ALL THIS POSSIBLE.

Im not full of myself, Im just going with what you said
and there is no need for name callin Roger
I was just trying to calm things down a little
you guys where both being silly

1.  WHAT PART OF "HELPED" ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE WITH, MEAT-PUPPET?

2.  NO USE TALKING TO THE REV.  HE'S GONE.  WHAT A FUCKING RELIEF *THAT* IS.  I THOUGHT THE POMPUOS LITTLE FUCKWAD WOULD *NEVER* SHUT UP WITH HIS HOLIER-THAN-THOU RAVINGS.  DUMBFUCK NEVER EVEN TAPPED CHERYL...AND GOD KNOWS I TOLD HIM TO.

[Malaul]

why gee Rog  ::blonde look::
I guess all of it
please educate me with a scathing reply all in caps in case I was too dumb to read notmal type

[Chef]

why gee Rog  ::blonde look::
I guess all of it
please educate me with a scathing reply all in caps in case I was too dumb to read notmal type

OKAY.  WHAT'S "NOTMAL" TYPE, MEAT-PUPPET?

CHEF D,
WONDERS WHAT THE REV EVER SAW IN YOU.

[Malaul]

normal type - not all in caps

and "roger" never saw a damn thing in me

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

yup
it was all my fault
defintely

And IIIII helped
PS for you young'uns, that's from an old Shake and Bake commercial

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Rog, sweetie, I was Eris with the BIG wooden spoon stirring the pot alllll day long.  The funny thing about chaos, you can never be quite sure how things will end up.  Sorry you went all suicidal and all.  That was never my intention.  But it proved a point I was trying to make to Goat Turd, every one is fair game.  I have taken my hits here.  Now it's your turn.  Take your own advice and take it like a man.

[East Coast Hustle]

what are you talking about?

point?

all you did was interrupt our fun for a minute.

you cna play if you want, but I'll ignore you cuz I like you enough to not want to play this game with you.

now, where's that CHEF fella?

I like him. Always the life of the party, that guy....

[Malaul]

TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION, I WILL BE GIVING THE URL TO THIS WEBSITE TO THE TROLL ARMY AT FUCKED COMPANY.

::utterly dry voice:: Oh please
no
not trolls
we dont know how to handle trolls here  ::/utterly dry voice::

[Malaul]

what are you talking about?
point?
all you did was interrupt our fun for a minute.
you cna play if you want, but I'll ignore you cuz I like you enough to not want to play this game with you.

Was this to me or Eldora?

[Chef]

TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION, I WILL BE GIVING THE URL TO THIS WEBSITE TO THE TROLL ARMY AT FUCKED COMPANY.

::utterly dry voice:: Oh please
no
not trolls
we dont know how to handle trolls here  ::/utterly dry voice::

NO, ACTUALLY YOU DON'T, SWEET THANG.

WOULD YOU LIKE AN EXAMPLE OR THREE?