LMNO-PI

[Bella]

No. It was great just the way it is.

[LMNO]

Thanks.

These stories always take longer than you think, y'know?  I figured I would have gotten to the Oracles at least 2 chapters ago, but hey, Fluffy must be given her due.

[fluffy]

You didn't think there was too much exposition there, did you?

too much exposition
not enough bunny

[agent compassion]

There were tons of bunnies!

[LMNO]

::scratches fluffy behind the ears::

Don't worry, darling.

Plenty more bunnies coming up...

[agent compassion]

I gotta say, that chapter ending was awesome. ,Äúpphhhhhhffffffffffftttttttt!,Äù indeed!

     

::hits print::

[LMNO]

I imagined it like some lovecraftian moment gone terribly wrong.

[LMNO]

The brood of bunnies started hopping up and down at the sight of fluffy.

,ÄúMom! Mom!,Äù

,ÄúLook, mom, food!,Äù

,ÄúToys!,Äù

,ÄúFood toys!,Äù

,ÄúCan we keep them?,Äù

fluffy stood there, looking at us, standing in the Abyss.

I finally spoke up.  ,ÄúHi, fluffy.  How are tricks?  You look,Ķ different.,Äù  That was a bit of an understatement.  Out here, the pookah was much larger.  Much larger.  Her nose twitched in amusement, and not with out a slight hint of malevolence.

,ÄúWell, well.  If it isn,Äôt LMNO.  And,Ķ guest.,Äù

,Äúfluffy, this is Erin.  She,Äôs a client of mine,Äî,Äú

,ÄúLooks more like dinner.,Äù

,ÄúYeah!,Äù

,ÄúI told you it was food!,Äù

,ÄúSsshhh!,Äù

,ÄúOh, fluffy, you aren,Äôt still mad about that,Ķ incident,Ķ,Äù

,ÄúPpppfffftt!  You were talking about bunny suicide.  That makes you fair game.,Äù

,ÄúYou tell him, mom!,Äù

,ÄúWhen do we eat?,Äù

,ÄúWhy all the talking?,Äù

Erin grabbed the carrots from my hand, and stepped forward.  ,ÄúLook,,Äù she said, ,Äúthings between you two might not be rock solid right now, but L promised me answers, and he,Äôs a long way off from giving them to me.  I have been not only all over the City, but apparently though different dimensions and realities as well, not to mention I was accosted by a face-raping bat to start the whole day off!,Äù

,ÄúFace raping bat?  Pffft!,Äù

,ÄúIt,Äôs true,,Äù I piped in.  ,ÄúCame out of a cell phone.,Äù

,ÄúSo why are you here?,Äù  fluffy eyed us suspiciously.

,ÄúThis is why,,Äù Erin said, thrusting the Tarot card at fluffy.

,ÄúDown two levels, past Tiphareth.  Can,Äôt miss it.,Äù

I sighed.  ,ÄúWhat we need, fluffy, is deeper interpretation, someone who knows the Tarot better than I do.,Äù

,ÄúWhich is anybody.,Äù

Erin stamped her foot, which was weird to see, considering there was actually nothing for her to stamp upon.  ,ÄúDammit!  We want to see this Oracle LMNO dragged me through hallucinations to get to, and Malaul gave us these carrots warning us about you!  Now will you please let us through?,Äù

,ÄúMalaul?  Carrots?,Äù  fluffy grabbed them out of Erin,Äôs hand. ,ÄúDid you know that I once spent several months living in her corset?,Äù

,Äú,ĶI don,Äôt even know how to begin to answer that.,Äù

,ÄúWise choice.  I suppose, for Mal,Äôs sake,Ķ  Come on, children.  Back to the hutch.,Äù

,ÄúAw, c,Äômon, mom!,Äù

,ÄúWe found them fair and square!,Äù

,ÄúAnd we,Äôre hungry!,Äù

,ÄúIf you,Äôre good, I,Äôll feed you all a nice piece of Troll pie.  As for me,,Äù fluffy said, winking at Erin, ,ÄúThese carrots are going into a laaarge margarita.  Give my best to Mal.  Oh, and L, you do know what the answer is going to be, right?,Äù

,ÄúYeah, I know.  Doom.,Äù

,ÄúWell, good luck anyway.,Äù

Softly, and silently, the rabbits faded away, and we were left alone, in the epitome of alone.









Eventually, Erin spoke up.  ,ÄúNow what?,Äù

,ÄúNow we wait.  Knowing them, they,Äôre playing ninja, or sculpting obscene topiary.,Äù

Erin shook her head slowly.  ,ÄúThis has been the absolute strangest day,Ķ,Äù

,ÄúYou ain,Äôt seen nothing yet.,Äù

[gnimbley]

You got the brood pegged. You've got fluffy a tad more reasonable
and clear-headed than

whack!

er, more intelligent

whack!

er, just about perfect.

But why does everyone insist on spelling our names with capital letters?

We don't get no respect I tell you. No respect. [/Rodney]

[LMNO]

You got the brood pegged. You've got fluffy a tad more reasonable
and clear-headed than

whack!

er, more intelligent

whack!

er, just about perfect.

But why does everyone insist on spelling our names with capital letters?

We don't get no respect I tell you. No respect. [/Rodney]

It's those damn editors.  I leave 'em notes in the marginalia, but to they listen?  Nooooo.  They say "it's not proper english."

Bastards.  I'll show 'em.

::Dons commando gear, hits the "edit" button::

Be right back.


[edit:  That oughta do it.]

[gnimbley]

[Hoshiko]

Schweet!!



LMNO, you rock!

er...

I mean, you suck!

Damn, I gotta write some of those words down...

Can't wait for the DOOM and strife.

[LMNO]

In the Abyss, your depth perception is shot all to hell, because there is no distance.  That,Äôs why it looked like two tiny figures appeared, and then swelled, as if expanding before us.  One was a lithe redhead, a knowing smile on her face, and holding what looked like a margarita.  The other was a tall brunette, with pale skin, dressed in a revealing black dress.  She didn,Äôt look very happy.

,ÄúHi Bella,,Äù I said to the redhead.  ,ÄúHow,Äôre things?,Äù

,ÄúOkay.  You?,Äù

,ÄúEh, it,Äôs been a rough day.,Äù

The brunette spoke up.  ,ÄúWhat does this have to do with Zorga?,Äù

,ÄúEverything.  It,Äôs all about Zorga after all.  Here, I brought you this.,Äù  I handed Zorga the rum.  She took it, uncorking it immediately, as she produced a glass from somewhere.

,ÄúBella, Zorga, I,Äôd like to introduce you to Erin.  Erin, this is Sssbella, and Zorga, two-thirds of the Oracle of Doom.,Äù

,ÄúUm,Ķ Pleased to meet you both,,Äù Erin said.

,ÄúLikewise.,Äù

We stood there for a few moments.  Bella took a sip of her margarita, and looked out into the void.  Zorga was busy being Zorga.  No one spoke.  Finally, Erin said, ,ÄúWell?,Äù

,ÄúOh, we,Äôre just waiting for Demonica.  She,Äôs late, again.  We,Äôre thinking she messed up the difference between day and night again,,Äù said Bella.  ,ÄúSeen Mal lately, L?  She,Äôs been asking about you.,Äù

,ÄúYeah, she tipped us off about fluffy.,Äù

,ÄúOh, you met fluffy?  Isn,Äôt she just the cutest?,Äù

Erin spoke up.  ,ÄúIf by ,Äòcutest,Äô you mean ,Äòscary as hell,,Äô then yes.,Äù

Bella turned to Erin.  ,ÄúWhy, dear, where do you think you are?  You,Äôre in the abyss!  Things have the meaning you give them!  Really, L.  Who have you been hanging around?,Äù

,ÄúIt,Äôs all part of a case.  Erin,Äôs looking for some answers--,Äù

,ÄúWe know.,Äù

Another pause.  It was impossible to tell if it was a minute, or an hour.  Zorga kept nursing her bottle of rum, which never seemed to go empty.  Good thinking, Mal, I said to myself.

In that strange, ballooning way, another figure appeared.  She eventually grew into a tall blonde, with a pink T-shirt and jeans.  She was scribbling away at a newspaper, mumbling to herself.  Finally, I thought.  Demonica.

She lowered the paper revealing an absolutely enormous word scramble puzzle.  In a soft voice, she said, ,ÄúHi.  Wow, you guys are early.,Äù  She gave off a low evil chuckle, which made Erin visibly shiver.

,ÄúZorga doesn,Äôt like waiting, even for Zorga,Äôs sister,,Äù said Zorga.

,ÄúOh, please, you,Äôve got rum.  I,Äôll make it up to you, we,Äôll go be ninjas & chase some pirates after this is over.,Äù  Demonica tossed her hair back.

,ÄúHi, Demonica,,Äù I said.  ,ÄúHoshiko sends her love.,Äù

,ÄúOh, hi L.  How is Hosh?,Äù

,ÄúThe same, still kicking ass in scrabble.  You taught her well.,Äù

,ÄúDon,Äôt I know it.  Hello, Erin.,Äù

Erin gave a start.  ,ÄúHow,Ķ I mean, how do you know--,Äù

The three women just gave a stare that just screamed, ,ÄúOh, please.,Äù  

Bella put down her drink, shook out her hands, and said, ,ÄúOkay, ladies.  Shall we get to it?,Äù

Zorga, Demonica, and Bella joined hands, and the Abyss gave a tremble, as if matter threatened to explode the universe into a second big bang.  The women went,Ķ blurry, like looking at them through the bottom of a tequila bottle, and started to twist and spin, coming together, and growing even taller.  Their bodies merged, and their 3 faces emerged from the twisting mass that began to resemble a very sexy Shiva, but with a triple-faced head.  The Oracle spoke.

,ÄúI, I, I, see ALL!  I, I, I, cast the future of Futures!  And I, I, I see only DOOM!,Äù

,ÄúHere we go,,Äù I said, stepping up to the six-armed Oracle.  ,ÄúWish me luck.,Äù

[Cain]

Aaaaah, the suspense!  I want to know what happens next!

[gnimbley]

Aaaaah, the suspense!  I want to know what happens next!

Unfortunately, so does LMNO.