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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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The Mona Eris

Started by Zurtok Khan, May 20, 2005, 08:05:38 AM

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Zurtok Khan

May 20, 2005, 08:05:38 AM
Eris has seeped into my mind like green pleasant (peasant?) smelling goo seeps under the door.  I have been infected.  And, in that I rejoice.

I looked at the Mona Lisa recently, and saw Eris.  I looked at Thomas Jefferson, and saw Eris.  I even looked at the swan in the poster that's hanging over my bed, and saw Eris.

I was disturbed by all of this Eris seeing, and went henceforth to my masterbatory sanctuary in order to sort out the meaning of all these sightings.  I began to poke my penal gland with a great many pokes, until it became perturbed enough to perturb Eris enough to come down and listen to my quandry.

"What the fuck do you want?  I was watching old 'I Love Lucy' [I have also seen Eris is 'I Love Lucy episodes] episodes."

I then related to our, obvious menstral (or menapausal?  I'm sure one of you ladies can tell me), SIRE my quandry.

She then began to stratch her chin, looking at me irritatedly, and said, "Fuck off, I don't exist anyway."

She then disappeared, leaving me feeling pleasently Illuminated.  It was the same kind of Illumination one feels when one wears a skirt, and one has someone (presumably a dirty old man, or a horny young man) stick a mirror or flashlight under one's skirt.

That of course, was the realization that Eris does in fact exist everywhere.  And, no where.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain
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