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Several times a month, I will be in a store aisle reaching for something and feel a hand going up the inside of my thigh. When I turn around to find myself alone with a woman, and ask her if she would prefer me to hold still so she can get a better feel for the situation, oftentimes she will act "shocked" claiming nothing had happened, it must be somebody else...

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I R a fAk3 Discordian!

Started by Zurtok Khan, June 08, 2005, 08:23:08 AM

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Zurtok Khan

June 08, 2005, 08:23:08 AM
After much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.

Of course, there is nothing ancient about this, I was simply trying to grab your attention (and in the case of some members, thats not all I will attempt to grab), and as we all know logical falisies are the best way to do this.

This is, of course, nothing true about this either, which is exactally why you should believe it.

And, of course, it may contain cannibis (fuck nicotine, the PMC is a bunch of pussies, sorry Hugh-bert).

I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN because there are no real Discordians.  There is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.

Pfft, bunch of posers.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
June 08, 2005, 10:39:53 AM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.


Um, I think the secret is that your a solopsist.

Just saying.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ben

#2
June 08, 2005, 04:24:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.


Um, I think the secret is that your a solopsist.

Just saying.


Solipsist?  All right, let's clear this up right now.  Solipsism has always been my greatest confusion.  It could very well be that way, like a dream.  To prove to me that I am a solipsist, tell me something about myself that you wouldn't ordinarily be 'supposed' to know, like... what's my mother's maiden name?

LMNO

#3
June 08, 2005, 04:33:34 PM
Well, if you are a solipsist, then there's not much to do to prove you're not.  It's just what you believe to be true.

However, to prove that Solipsism is bullshit, all I have to do is whack you in the back of the knees with a baseball bat when you aren't looking.

[edit:  but I realize that's not your point.  You want proof that Solipsism is not bullshit, by telling you your mother's maiden name.  but that's not really how it works.  Your brain has constructed a reality so complete that your brain cannot possibly concieve that we would "know" something like that, so it does not relay that information.  In fact, you can posit that telepathy, etc is simply the solipsistic mind breaking the rules of it's own game.]

Ben

#4
June 08, 2005, 04:38:37 PM
Quote from: LMNOWell, if you are a solipsist, then there's not much to do to prove you're not.  It's just what you believe to be true.

However, to prove that Solipsism is bullshit, all I have to do is whack you in the back of the knees with a baseball bat when you aren't looking.

That's gonna be difficult, considering that you're just pixels on a screen.  If LMNO's avatar comes out of the screen with a bat and whacks me upside the kneecaps, I'll believe that bullshit is true.

LMNO

#5
June 08, 2005, 04:40:03 PM
Please see my edited response.

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

#6
June 08, 2005, 05:16:10 PM
Zurtok, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the hash-bash the PMM had back in April. ANd only a nutjob would call themself a discordian, real or fake.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Verthaine

#7
June 08, 2005, 09:12:28 PM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.
Never been a discordian.never claimed to be
Quote from: Zurtok Khan
Of course, there is nothing ancient about this, I was simply trying to grab your attention (and in the case of some members, thats not all I will attempt to grab), and as we all know logical falisies are the best way to do this.

This is, of course, nothing true about this either, which is exactally why you should believe it.

And, of course, it may contain cannibis (fuck nicotine, the PMC is a bunch of pussies, sorry Hugh-bert).

I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN because there are no real Discordians.  There is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.
Please be honest and say: In the universe as you percieve it ,you believe
"there is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU"
Because in the universe as I percieve it there is nothing but Goddess. There is nothing but Chaos.But again thats just my opinion.
Do not think that your opinions are valid for everyone,because I realize that mine aren't.I don't deny you the right to percieve the universe as you chose,respect that right for others.
Quote from: Zurtok Khan
Pfft, bunch of posers.
Again,your opinion.
Vincent Sebastian Verthaine, K.S.C.
Omni-Belevolent Poly- Father of Hedonism In Black of The Erisian Holy City of the Discordian Parish of New Orleans.

Goddess-Son of Sssbela,Prophetess of Doom

Pastor of the Church of Eris,New Orleans

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
June 08, 2005, 09:16:20 PM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCZurtok, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the hash-bash the PMM had back in April. ANd only a nutjob would call themself a discordian, real or fake.



TGRR,
Isn't this way by CHOICE, though.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Zurtok Khan

#9
June 09, 2005, 02:21:44 AM
*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Ben

#10
June 09, 2005, 02:39:59 AM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Horab and Zorga anyways.

Horab Fibslager

#11
June 09, 2005, 04:09:44 AM
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
Hell is other people.

Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

#12
June 09, 2005, 04:48:19 AM
Quote from: irrelevant necessity
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
That reminds me, where the heck is Zorga, she hasn't been around lately. :?

Ben

#13
June 09, 2005, 04:55:37 AM
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: irrelevant necessity
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
That reminds me, where the heck is Zorga, she hasn't been around lately. :?
@ the center of the universe as usual.

Bella

#14
June 09, 2005, 04:57:27 AM
Zorga broke her leg. She's in a cast up to her hip and can't fit her leg under the computer table.  :(


She is, however, still @ the center of the universe.  :wink:
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here
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