Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[Zurtok Khan]

anybody got a snowmobile i could borrow?

Sorry, Jesus is borrowing it.

[Enrico Salazar]

Welcome back, my glorious faggots!

Enrico is so sorry that you were all stuck with the Best Of Into The Night With Salazar And Friends for so long, but didn't Enrico look gorgeous with two eyes?  It makes his balls sweat just thinking about it.

Shecky.  What did you do on time off?

[Shecky D. Albino]

Well, as I've mentioned before, I have a dish, so I get many wonderful channels from around the globe.

So my short answer is masturbating to the 2006 Canadian Election.

[Enrico Salazar]

That Harper has lovely rapist eyes.  Enrico hasn't seen a pair like that since his popo, Ritzibottom, died and Enrico took his eyes out and wrapped them around rear-view mirror in '76 El Camino.

Enrico would have masturbated to this one too, but only Chretien's wormy mouth makes Enrico salute.

[Shecky D. Albino]

I liked Layton's moustache.  Very vaginal.

[Enrico Salazar]

And very Village People.

So, Shecky . . . do you know what time it is?

[Shecky D. Albino]

Time for Viewer Mail.

This one is from Carmelle Oberholster from Hamtramck, Michigan.

Dear Enrico,

How do you keep your hair looking so lusterous and pubic?

[Enrico Salazar]

The amount of erotic energy flowing through Enrico's body keeps all his body hair springy, spongey, and uh . . . spoolfed.

(shrugs to Shecky)

Is true.  Enrico is first to discover erotic energy.  Well, actually Willhelm Reich was the first to discover this energy but Enrico ensured that he was taken care of, and then took over his research.

When you hear people who say "I don't need drugs to feel high" they are actually harnessing erotic energy.

Is true.

(shrugs to Shecky again)

Next!

[Shecky D. Albino]

The next letter is from Shelby Wormster from Pinchteet, Montana, and she writes:

Dear Enrico,

I know the old cliche is the grass is greener on the other side, but my neighbor really DOES have greener grass - what can I do about it?

[Enrico Salazar]

First.  You need industrial strength bleah, glass cutters, wire cutters, and a hammer.


At night, sneak under your neighbor's barbed wire fencing, go to window, and smash with hammer.  Crawl inside, and find your neighbor and uncap bleach, place into mouth and pour.  Then round up family members, and tie them up, leaving hands exposed.  One by one cut their fingers off with wire cutters and threaten them that loose tongues get cut out.  

Then leave.

This should take care of it.

[Shecky D. Albino]

Uh . . . what was the glass-cutter for then?

[Enrico Salazar]

Is for confusion!

[Shecky D. Albino]

Well.

I can't argue with that.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Sorry, I just sold it to a Welshman.

That sucks!

I'll talk to just about anyone except the Welsh.

[Shecky D. Albino]

Sorry, I just sold it to a Welshman.

That sucks!

I'll talk to just about anyone except the Welsh.

Take it somewhere else, ladies.  We're doin' a show here.